Things that make me happy.

The Red Wings losing their past two games to Minnesota and Ottawa do not make this list, and thus will only be given a cursory mention - I missed both games TOCing Bronco hockey (don't ask about the miserable losses), though I did record the Ottawa game and do intend to watch it eventually, but you can read all about at On the Wings, where Matt did a great job recapping it.

The Wings take on the Atlanta Thrashers tonight and I will probably miss the majority of it as well - but I'm hopeful that it will be the end of this marginal losing streak.

Meanwhile, the NHL makes me happy. Why?

• Chris Osgood still looks like he's still twenty because of Noxzema.

• Steve Schrader suggests things like that the Wings could "spark some interest in their stars" by "offer[ing] to help fans assemble their stuff from Ikea." Henrik Zetterberg can put together my oversized leaf canopy any day.
  

• Andrew Raycroft doesn't want to watch the Leafs suck either:
• 
  

• Ty Conklin is now 10-0-1 with .949 sv% and a 1.72 gaa. What on earth is going on? (Also I am famous on the Pensblog, but I think my sign pales in comparison to this beauty in the center. I kind of wish I'd come up with that.) Yahoo suggests, "If Conklin continues to play this well, look for him to remain the Penguins' starting goaltender even after Marc-Andre Fleury returns from his high ankle sprain." I can hear Elly wailing from here. Conklin is also the deciding factor in my move from dead last to 8th of 12 in the IPB fantasy league. Seriously. He did more than Vinny Lecavalier. I don't get it either.
  

• The Oilers are winning! Perhaps it can be attributed to Ales Hemsky's recent dental decision - I don't know, I sort of liked the toothless look, and I still miss his curls, but you know what? This I can live with.

• I can skate backwards (okay this has nothing to do with the NHL but I just succeeded today, leave me alone)!

All in all, hockey is good, isn't it?

Mickey Redmond: "They didn't trade Jiri Hudler off for this, did they?"

Team: Detroit Red Wings (A tough decision.)
Uniform Number: 31
Position: Defense
Nickname: Appy, Yates
Dream blueline partner: Chris Pronger. Yeah, I know.
Rounding out the Power Play: Ales Hemsky, Mats Sundin, and Stevie Y. Shhh one of them can learn to play winger.
Job: Getting the puck to Ales without mishandling it and making him cry. I'm looking at you MAB. And defending my goalie, which might be a nice way of saying "mauling".
Signature Move: Chatting with the pretty goalie instead of doing my job.
Strengths: Being loud enough (see: Jason Smith this afternoon) to be heard without a mic (thus not needing heavy equipment to slow me down like Marty), a whole plethora of really dirty cheers and the ability to come up with "clever" nicknames for refs with names like Hoberg (thank you WMU Broncos), and a propensity toward nice big hits.
Weaknesses: Checking the right opponent (no one ever said those weren't just because I couldn't stop).
Equipment: I'm a CCM hockey player! (Or I just like to hear Martin Brodeur's gorgeous voice and thus am in support of that commercial.)
Nemeses: Sean O'Donnell, Derek Boogard, anyone else who messes with Hemmer. Oh. Lauren Pronger.
Scandal Involvement: Being an Oil fan in Detroit after last season.
Who I’d Face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Nashville Predators and we'll smack them down. You are the number two team in the Central Division, dammit, know your place. (In my fantasy work I can play a Western team if I want. Shhh.)
What I’d do with the Stanley Cup After Our Victory: Revel in the fact that no one in my hometown thinks it "has something to do with Nascar." Hi, Carolina.
Would the Media Love Me or Hate Me: I think the word "useless" might come up every once in a while, as well as "does not contribute" and maybe the occasional "did she ever learn to skate?", but I'm going to bank on the fact that I'm Canadian. No one hates a Canadian hockey player, right?
Next up: Well Elly of course. I think most everyone else whose blogs I read has already.

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I am happy because all the teams of import (Oil, Leafs, Pens, Bruins, Devils, Flames, Blues) claimed victory tonight, Manny even got a shutout, and I leeched tv through the internet and wasted the whole day watching the CBC tripleheader. I could recap things, or I could post silly things that are going around the blogs and go to bed.

Also no one should go without seeing George Bush praise the Canes like he doesn't realize the Washington Capitals exist. I wonder what Alex Ovechkin would think. (He also schools us on just how the playoffs work. Brilliant.)