30 April 2007

Mmm, Banana and Coconut

I know that at 5:30 on a game night what I should really be posting is something much more like a game preview, but things have been brought to my attention that have distracted me from that. As a quick note, though, I learned from Christy (who sent me a great picture of Hudler from Game Two the other day, thanks so much again!) that Holmstrom has been cleared to play in Game Four, which is great news, we really need him in front of the net.

Anyway I promised gratuitous spam and here it is folks, as thrown at me this morning by Skye of MWORO: Rick DiPietro's um, birthday celebration.

I require everyone who gives in and clicks on that to leave a comment stating how many times you got sucked in and watched it (no lying! my count was five and I will also share that I NEEDED a banana latte when I went out to pay bills after my viewing) and your thoughts on how possibly sanitary that could be (okay maybe they washed it, but...I just don't know if that's something I'd want to eat off of).

In other gossipy news, Jarret Stoll's concussion doesn't seem to inhibit certain activities. (It's got to be a slow day in Hollywood when this makes the tabloids, right?)

29 April 2007

Who's Cocky now?

Not us, that's for sure.

Yes, we skipped a week. I blame exams and the general excitement of the playoffs, the loss of my dear Penguins to that horrible team in Ottawa, and, of course, Sean Avery.

So who are we nominating for this week? Well, it could be the back and forth (or more acurately the smackdown on the ice) that happened between the Preds and the Sharks, Sidney's ballsy play with a broken foot, and a host of other things, but one series can sum up the week nicely: the play between Wings and the Flames. If you don't know at least a little bit of what happened in this series, then you must have been living in a hockey blackout.

The combined winners for the second and third week: The Calgary Flames and the Detroit Red Wings.

28 April 2007

Can Sharks Live in Red Waves?

Okay okay I know I'm trying too hard now.

ANYWAY I have no food in my house. I haven't eaten anything but a saltine and a piece of cheese since yesterday and I need to go out and buy groceries painfully badly.

But of course that need was second string to hockey and I went out instead and watched the Wings/Sharks Game 2 with four of my guy friends. We spent the first period cursing every few seconds and almost turned the game off (a substantial portion of it was spent watching the Tigers get stomped and the Pistons sweep Orlando - honestly the guys were playing Pokemon, no I am not even kidding, about as much as watching for the first hour), but we made it through. Cleary was beautiful, the Eurotwins saved us, and Dom looked good...by the end. The Wings are going to need to step it up though, if they want to stay in this series; the Sharks have a ridiculous size advantage and if they're going to stop us getting to the net as well as they were today something needs to be changed to fix this. But you know what, I still believe and I'm still saying Wings in 7. More later, when I have fought off the starvation.

The best part of the afternoon, however, had to be this exchange, right after Hasek misplayed the puck that led to that second goal.

Andy: Holy shit what the -
Ryan: Oh no no no you fucking -
Everyone: TY CONKLIN!?
I do believe I am at fault for this.

Also Pickles is still adorable.

27 April 2007

Broncos Ate my Hockey

I was all set tonight. I took my last final of the semester earlier and a good friend promised me that if I came by her going away party tonight she'd even let the TV (except for the dreadful portion of the evening that belonged to Grey's Anatomy) provide me with beautiful, beautiful hockey.

On the way to her apartment, no more than a ten minute drive, the Sharks scored twice. When I got there the crestfallen faces of two occupants informed me that the NHL still hates me, FSN was showing the damn Tigers game (which for the record was rain delayed), and their EDUcable - essentially the college's cable network - doesn't pick up VERSUS. My desperate plea for a radio lasted through the first commercial break and the rest of that hour was spent reaching the conclusion that Justin Chambers looks a little bit like Ty Conklin (it's the facial expressions, I swear).

You bastards, you ruined my night.

Therefore I'm sticking with I didn't see it, so it didn't happen. Looking forward to Game - ahem - one on Saturday.

And since I don't have that to talk about, I guess what I'd be stuck with would be....oh, that. So Capschick is running this playoff pool with an absolutely evil little twist wherein the winners of each round get to pick other participants to write up nice things about their team. The real sort of nice, not the kind where I say I Really Love The Flames for setting up that amazing irony that was game six. And since the winner of round one was none other than Duncan of Flamesblog, I, as not only a Detroit fan but an Edmonton fan as well, would seem to be the prime target for this horror. So here you have it everyone:

A (slightly forced) Tribute To the Flames (in 500 words or less).

So here's the deal. I actually like(d) the Flames. Last year I even bandwaggoned them (as per Elly's request) for the five minutes it took them, after the Wings got stomped by Edmonton, to lose to Anaheim. And even now I like them (this may have been helped by the fact that we just beat them) as much as could be expected. Anyway so what I'm trying to say is TAKE THAT this won't be quite so painful after all!

Jordi, being the little jerk she is (shh I'm allowed, she's cheering against my team this round) already went through all the players...though I'm not sure all her comments get to be considered "well-researched" or sans name-calling, which leaves me at a little bit of a loss...but okay, here we go.

The Flames are a Canadian team, and they aren't the Habs or the Sens. There's some points right there. For that matter, they're a Western conference team and we all know that's where my loyalties lie. At one point in their existance, Dwayne Roloson played for them, that ups their count a little too. When I look at their roster there is only one player I really dislike (Langkow you huge jerk stop running Hemsky over) - oh wait, does that count toward name-calling? - and I actually appreciate Phaneuf (see HG!), even though every time the announcers say his name I have to deal with a friend who makes a noise that is something like that creepy lecherous old man chuckle Marty Brodeur makes when he catches the pizza in that Delissio commercial. They have McCarty and I still cheer for him.

You can't - and I don't - argue that Kiprusoff didn't make the better showing in that series, goalie-wise, either. Hasek's impressed me more than I expected when the season started, but Kipper stood on his head to keep his team in the game, facing four, five times as many shots as Dom some games. Funny how it's the losing goalie we all feel bad for (Turco, anyone?) because they didn't the support they needed. The thing that impresses me the most about him though, is just how absolutely collected, stoic even, he always is. I love a good goalie fight, I love when Dom goes crazy or when Roli tries to get up on someone's business, as much as anyone - but that sort of absolutely concentration no matter what's going on around him is something you don't see all that often. So okay, I give Kipper lots of credit. There's one more nice thing.

And last but not least (I'm really running out of nice things to say here and it's 2:44 am and I've had a lot of beer over the course of the night), I wanted to link to it again for everyone's amusement but it seems to be gone (give me a day, it'll find its way to yousendit or something) ...but I have to say for all the fun I made of it, that Stanleyback playoff song, in all its Justin Timberlake-inspired trainwreck sort of glory, was in some twisted way a thing of beauty. Really. Go Flames. I hope you're happy.

25 April 2007

Round two

Although the Pens aren't in the second round I'm still excited for it to start (the Sabres/Rangers game just started and already Avery has a penalty. Surprise surprise). Let's face it, if Pens fans didn't watch the playoffs when their team didn't make it we'd never watch. I face a dilemma though: Ottawa or New Jersey?

As Steph put it, no one in the east likes each other, and one of the most-hated is the Devils. On the other hand, the Senators did hand the Penguins their collective butts, so spite is a big factor here. How do all the Eastern Division teams stack up in the piss off factor? Let's break it down (Pens fans, please feel free to correct me or comment with something I missed):

-Montreal Canadiens: Aside from having the long-standing tradition of battling with them, this season has seen a bit of a rivalry spring up from some rather nasty play.
-Toronto Maple Leafs: The proximity of the city and the vehemence of what I have heard called their 'traveling fan base' makes for a good natured, rough game, with often words being exchanged in the stands (anyone remember the January 20th game this year?). The fans out of the arena are usually nice, though, unlike some of their Quebecian counterparts.
-Ottawa Senators: Playoffs 2006-2007.
-Boston Bruins: Aside from some old bad blood from playoff battles and rough games in the early 90's, this factor has been relatively quiet. Not a lot of nasty feelings here currently (too much, considering we did crush them in the last two games).
-Buffalo Sabres: Aside from the notorious reputation of their fans, and despite the proximity of their city, not a lot of bad blood here lately.
-New York Islanders/Rangers: I don't think I need to comment on this one. I think every Pens fan has attempted to light one of their jerseys on fire at least once.
-New Jersey Devils: Again, do I need to say anything?
-Washington Capitals: Ahh, a fine old rivalry. The battles here in the Patrick Division were great. The league trying to pit Ovechkin against Crosby and the blowout comeback games against them are shaping up for a renaissance of the old hate.
-Philadelphia Flyers: They're the Flyers....the Flyers.
-Carolina Hurricanes: Other than maybe a bit of sibling rivalry, nothing here currently (does the Orpik/Cole thing count?)
-Atlanta Thrashers: How about this. Maybe this? Or this for old time sake?
-Florida Panthers: Other than some old rats on the ice (I'm sure Barrasso still hates them), and Penguin-killer Olli Jokinen, there aren't very many festering wounds here. Well, maybe Talbot would disagree.
-Tampa Bay Lightning: Two reasons: Vincent Lecavalier and Marty St.Louis. I'd say it's more a stiff dislike of a team that consistently kicks the Pens' ass than anything else (I think it's something like 5 years they haven't won a game against the Lightning?)

So how does this leave me? I still can't decide, the stigma of the Devils sits too heavily to shrug it off for a spiteful cheer against a newer hate. What's a girl to do?

Ignore it. Instead I'm going to post some pictures I took at fan appreciation night from my great third row seats. Enjoy!

-Jordan looking intensely at something
-Sad little Rangers backup goalie sitting in the tunnel
-Smiling Geno. He was talking to Laraque about something amusing, I guess
- Fleury
-Sidney leaning over
-The bench with all of the boy looking at the pretty lights
-Prucha for Steph. I tried to take one of Jagr, but the man does not stay still. Also got a blurry one of Straka, but he was all over the place too.
-T-bo doing the cute goalie stretch
-Talbot and Staal running each other into the boards. They were doing this all warm up and it was hilarious.
-Thibault chillin'
-Malone being the puck bitch
-Talbot (he hung out right in front of me for a lot of the warm up so I got some good shots of him)
-Another puck bitch Ryan Malone. I love the face that T-bo is making in the back.
-Armstrong making a face like someone killed his puppy
-Nice view of the arena and the backs of Ruutu, Crosby and Armstrong
-Stretching and the only not-in-motion picture of Jagr I got
-More Flower. I won't share how many pictures I actually have of him
-And finally, something for the Pensblog guys

That's it.
Go Pens.

23 April 2007

Victory! Irony! ROUND TWO!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we hope you enjoyed the Tour de Franzen.
(I swear McLean said it and if not he certainly should have)

I have a cat named Jiri. I'm not kidding (oh shut up, Elly has one named Sidney and if that's not worse I'll eat uh...something nearby and generally inedible, I'm too happy to be clever) and he even acts sometimes painfully like his counterpart. I just picked him up and spun in circles around the room (which he hated, for the record), telling him that it's okay, even though he was scratched (you bastards!) and couldn't help, we still won. And then I did a happy "we're going to Round 2" dance. I then proceeded from there to tell my roommate (who could not possibly care less about hockey) the entire story of the Franzen/McLennan saga (her completely improvised impression of McLennan had me actually on the floor, having spat out ice tea from laughing so hard). And now, finally, I am capable of making a post. Why so excited? Well folks, we didn't choke! A little much? Probably, but I had a lot of energy and welcome to Round Two, guys!

So thanks to that beautiful outcome, I'm feeling particularly thankful. For what, you ask? For all of these things!
  • Johan Franzen for being amazing and ending that game in double OT on a note of hilarious irony.
  • The Red Wings in general for realizing that I'd be horribly upset if they had to play the deciding game on Tuesday night during one of my finals and winning that for me, and for including cute things like this in your game notes:
    • After losing two games at the Saddledome last week, the Wings switched up their stall assignments in the visitors' dressing room Sunday.
  • The best co-blogger I could ever ask for, Gator Elly, for staying awake through the game with me even though it was "boring" (I admit, I said it too) for three periods, and for not cheering too loudly for Kipper (at least in my direction), and for not telling me who won even though my feed lagged behind about a minute - oh and for not calling me Lupul...too much. Um.
  • All the people whose TVs I filched during this series to make up for my lack of cable (even though we kept losing when I did it) and who I dragged out to bars with me for the same reason. Thanks for making nights like these happen, let's do it again next round!
  • Mike of Bitter Leaf for allowing me a place to make a correct (probably my only one of the sort!) prediction with regard to my Wings.
  • My always entertaining buddy Chapel for this post-game gem:
    • Chapel: well played
      Me: I'm making my "I told you so" rounds now.
      Chapel: The Flames were a sexy pick, the Penguins of the West if you will
      Me: Shows how well sex appeal holds up in hockey?
      Chapel: FIGURATIVELY
  • Jordi for holding my hand and cheering my Wings and promising me we'd win - and for all that victory-inspiring pre-game fantasizing about Ethan, Jussi, and hot chocolate - I'd never have been able to pull it off without your help
  • HG for staying my friend and making it a whole week without saying anything too mean not followed up with -aroonidooni. I knew we could make it! Celebratory S383 pie and slurpees for everyone! (Soooo...you're going to cheer for us now, right? We're red, it's almost familiar!)
  • CapsChick for not minding too much that I couldn't help her out and lose tonight. I'm sorry!
  • The Flames corner of the hockey blogosphere for being awesome this past series - it's been fun, guys, it really has. Hope to see you all around still.
And everyone I forgot! Now, we hope and we pray that Vancouver crashes and burns (I know, I know, it hurts me to say it too, I'm sorry Roberto!) because I'd sure as hell rather face the Stars next series than the Sharks (okay I lied, really I'd rather SEE us face the Sharks but I like our chances better with the Stars)....and we wait and see. Go Wings!

22 April 2007

The show must go on

I sat down and watched the Devils and the Lightning play today and was pleasantly surprised with the pace and action of the game. It was a good game, lots of actions, plays, and super goal tending, although I found myself thinking constantly of the Penguins, what they could have done and how watching hockey isn't the same without them in the running. I kept catching myself thinking about the next Penguins game, only to realize that it is months away. Sigh. Anyhow, with the Devil's win that puts them up against the cursed Senators and the Sabres and Rangers in a battle of New York. Should be an interesting match up...and as much as it makes dog bark and howl in pain every time I think it, I might have to cheer for the Devils out of pure spite.

In other non-moping news, Jamie 'Noodles' McLennan has been suspended for his slash and whack on Detroit's Franzen. I didn't see the end of the game, only highlights, and Steph already covered it in her previous post, so I won't go into specifics. It does seem strange, however, to have this happen right in the middle of a series. I can understand trying to send a message to the other team in a blow out, you want to come back hard and fast, give the other team a little bit to think about, but nothing excuses dirty play, and slashes like that (as well as several other penalties and questionable acts) are never okay. That being said, Noodles has never been shown to have this type of behavior in him (please correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never heard about him doing anything like this before), and I know a lot of people are asking if this was purely coaching. McLennan is coming up to free agency soon, and to disobey a coach or go against the 'team's' wishes, can be a death sentence career-wise, and from Playfair's point of view, McLennan was the most expendable body on the bench. Does this make it okay? No, and he shouldn't have hit Franzen like that, but you have to wonder how much of it was provoked (he was on the ice less than a minute) and how much was expected. If this was all Playfair, then I'm not even sure what to say. Sending out a message to the opposing team is fine, as is rough play, some pushing, maybe even a fight, but diliberate dirty play from an otherwise clean player? Should we be talking about dirty coaching?


In Penguins news, Recchi and Roberts say that playing in Pittsburgh is defintely an option next year, and they both like it. Gonchar also told the Trib that Malkin was feeling a little pooped at the end of the year from the season and the playoffs, which I think we were all wondering about. Maybe next year he'll be better prepared for the long run and the postseason and we'll be able to see his true form come out. We believe in you, Geno!

Some interesting thoughts on what to upgrade and who to get. On the list: Chris Drury, Bill Guerin, Alexei Morozov (hello again?), and Kris Letang is rumored to be getting ready to make the jump up. Most of what the Pens are looking for are goal scorers and some offensive defensemen, which is really no surprise. Who's out? I'm guessing Scuderi, Melichar, Cairns, Nas might stay, and maybe Thorburn, although I think he has potential if he can get it together. There are a number of UFA's coming up, so the Pens might look quite a bit different next year. Lots of articles are out wrapping up the Penguins' season, saying what to expect next year, and what they need to get/move in order to accomplish this (go to the Post-Gazette page to read, there's a bunch and I didn't want to be a link whore), but I won't go into it too very much (yet). The summer should give us all a good idea about what Shero is willing to spend and how to plan for the next few seasons (let's not all forget that Crosby and Fleury are coming up at the same time for UFA's. Sid has said that he's thinking of starting negotiations, but nothing from Fleury yet).

The Dread Captain Murray says that Heatley has yet to get his motor running. Great, just run us into the ground and then tell everyone that you're not going at full steam.

In a completely unrelated random,and yes, rather girlish note, where were you hiding this, Tampa Bay? Even though it makes me slightly ill to say this of a former Duck, that man is gorgeous. And look, Parise is welcoming him to the east while Lecavalier laughs. Don't laugh, Vinny, he doesn't share Journey with Mighty Mouse.

EDIT: On looking around ESPN I found this mullety offering. Truth be told, I was a little disappointed with Melrose's offerings, although I will agree with the Parros one. Check out the mullet gallery linked on the top of the page and take a gander at #5, one of the best mullets ever! Classic. Also #2 is the best current mullet in the game.

21 April 2007

They say red is the color of anger, right?

I couldn't make a post right after the game in part because my apartment needed desperate attention in the form of cleaning - and in part because I don't think I could initially have said much more than what just happened. Whatever it was, it ended in a 5-1 Detroit victory (spitefully, my team does better when I watched the games on a tiny computer screen than out on a real TV), moving them up 3-2 in the series, but the road there was interesting to say the least.

The first period was, honestly, sort of boring. Maybe it wasn't if you were there, maybe it wasn't on a real TV, but my little red and white blurs were not very inspiring looking. It was hard-hitting close sort of boring, though - and I found that familiar worry of will we pull this off? start to hit me. But I wasn't worried - they scratched Calder and put my rookie Jiri Hudler back in so I had to be optimistic!

The second started off relatively similarly, until we burst out scoring three, and I started to calm down some. Oh and Chelios (who, thank you to both NBC who told us three times, and CBC who mentioned it at least twice, is forty-five, DID YOU KNOW THAT?!) grabbed his first goal of the season. As usual, my choppy feed doesn't really allow for a lot of great commenting, but for a good recap from someone who was there, check out Behind the Jersey, and for a good recap all around head over to Gorilla Crouch.

And then all of a sudden the Flames just exploded - I don't know what happened, a mix of frustration, futility, desperation, certainly some lack of class, but it just kept snowballing.

It only gets worse from here.
  • With 11:25 left in the third, Langkow (I knew I didn't like him I knew it! You touch Hemmer and you're clearly up to no good!) gets hipchecked by Brett Lebda. While both of them are lying on the ground, Langkow leans over and punches Lebda in the face - he eventually had to be helped off the ice, and the end result was a concussion. So it begins.
  • 3:17 remaining in the game, the Flames pull Kipper. The concensus at the time at least according to NBC (I was actually watching HNIC but I think they were making similar remarks) was that they didn't like the way Detroit was running him, were worried about potential injury, wanted to protect Kiprusoff, etc. Smart move? Maybe, until McLennan plays a grand total of 18 seconds before administering a pretty good slash to Johan Franzen and then following it up by taking swing at Franzen's midsection during the break in play. Makes you wonder about intentions, huh? He gets thrown out of the game and Kipper comes back in to play the last bit.
  • While everyone is still reeling with 42 or so seconds left in the game, Iginla decides they aren't done yet - somewhere around the blueline he backchecks Schneider, a few seconds later shoves his stick in Schneider's stomach, takes a few more strides and then crosschecks him from behind, at which point he's finally given a penalty.
Who knows what will happen with regard to suspensions - but this certainly didn't look good with regard to the Flames, and it certainly wasn't respectful, nor should it serve as anything inspiring.

That said, the Wings played some good, strong hockey out there today, and have a chance to come out tomorrow night and show the Flames, and their fans, how it's done in Hockeytown, hopefully without any of the mess the Flames brought into the Joe this afternoon. It's going to be a rough game, guys.

9 pm tomorrow night

PS hey see look, when you don't scratch my rookie you win!


I'll make a real post soon and get back to looking at other teams that don't wear black and gold, but in the meantime, I have to share one thing I found today while on the Pens' site:

To all those who called Sidney a wuss and a whiner, I'd like to invite you to eat it. Would you like to play hockey the way he does with a broken foot for over a month?

Oh, and to Devils' fans: Wow, nice brawl. Poor Jamie, it's never fun to get jumped.

20 April 2007

Pens v Sens: Game 5, or 'I think I need a hug'

I'm about a nine.

Why only a nine, you ask? Well, possibly because I'm not suspended by my underwear from four stories, but mostly because I think next year will be better.

Sure, it sucks losing, and I'd like to reference this picture to show my post-game reaction (fairly accurate, even though I'm no longer a blonde. Just put tears of dejection and hopelessness on her cheeks and a Pens jersey on and we're all set), but as I said before: the Pens went farther, did more, than anyone gave them credit for being capable of at the beginning of the season. They rose up to the challenge, although not as much as I'd really like (or they would, I bet), but they came and gave Ottawa a run for their money on their way to the next round. The Senators were simply an unreal team, they were everywhere the puck was, or was even going to be, they were faster, more accurate, had a stronger defense and play action than the Pens did. It's just the way it is, and I congratulate them on their win.

In terms of the Penguins, I'd just like to point out one thing: this was their debutante party. Yes yes, I've heard it all before too, but just sit down and think about this for a moment. Most of the guys on that team are just beginning their careers or coming into their own as a hockey player and have a lot more game left in them. Sure, you can say all you want about empty comfort for a losing team, and yes, they need to keep them together, but we all can imagine what that bunch of guys are going to look like in 3 years, if that. Let that digest and contemplate again that this was their start. Good. Now think about what they're going to be like next year, and the year after that. Scared yet? If you're not a Pens fan, you should be.

That said, I can't wait to start cheering for the Sens' fiery demise in the second round. I'd hate to let all of the Ottawa jokes I've thought up go to waste, after all.

Hang me out to dry like some panties on a whore here!

I went out to the bar with some friends to catch the game tonight - let's just say my couple beers beforehand weren't enough. About partway through the first I wanted to make a drinking game wherein the only rule was a drink every time the referees made a terrible phantom call. Alas, I had to drive us all home, and if I'd really gone with that plan I probably wouldn't have been able to remove my car from its horrible parallel park job at all - and my wallet might have suffered a pretty good deal as well. So instead, I ordered asiago cheese dip with sun-dried tomatoes and artichokes and ate a chip every time the game made me want to cry. I think I gained five pounds (but my liver's saying thank you).

I imagine this is Draper and Warrener working together to see what sort of interesting penalty calls the refs can come up with.

I suppose I should be worried right now - and I suppose at the very least my smugness after the first two games has been rubbed out. Maybe it's the fact that I think I caught the Plague somewhere in the past few days or maybe (worrisomely) I'm just no longer suprised by the Wings Senatorsian ability to choke in the playoffs, or maybe I'm just going a little crazy, but I am surprisingly unrattled by this very much becoming a series again.

Still, Jordi, it's time for a new ritual - shirtless Ethan Moreau was good fun, but he's failing us - and Roli certainly didn't work at all, boo. Maybe fantasizing really isn't the same as dreaming?

I think this conversation with my long-standing Devils (I know, I know, right? He's in Toronto, too; such bad taste.) fan friend sums the evening up:
Chapel: You've gotta be so pissed right now
Me: I am strangely numb.
Chapel: I mean, fucking Ottawa for one
Me: oh okay yeah that one I'm just pissed about
Chapel: Calgary though
Chapel: Scary
Scary indeed. So Saturday it is. What do we have going for us? They're not outplaying us in Calgary the painful way we outplayed them in Detroit. Even so, between now and game five, something needs to be done about our waning abilities (read: the way we seem to suck) on the PP - and the PK for that matter. I'm also with everyone else who's mentioned it in pulling Samuelsson for Hudler. We've lost both games since the kid's been scratched, and while he hasn't exactly been a huge force, nor is anyone really expecting him to be (I should hope not, at 5'9"), he gets in there and makes things happen - and two games without him hasn't made us look so great, eh?

Oh and Ilya Bryzgalov says ON THE NET FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. I think a large portion of this was looping in my brain for at least 30 minutes of tonight's game. It happened out loud at least once.

PS I stopped hating Langkow after the rational part of my brain forced me to realize he didn't hurt Hemmer on purpose - but the hate is back, and possibly festering. Speaking of players I hate though, Ron Maclean has earned my eternal love for tonight's crack at my Most Hated Player Derek Boogaard, and you can catch it over at Double Dion. And you most certainly should - oh, Calgary, you and your uh, livestock owning fans. (Does this mean I can blame him for tonight's game?)

19 April 2007

Journey + Scrubs = hockey gold

No pre-game post, no words of dejection or loss, thoughts of giving up or saying 'ah well, better luck next year', or desperate false hope. The Pens have given us something that we haven't had in 6 years, and then gone on to fight tooth and nail with a great team for every inch they've gained in the most exciting eastern playoff matchup. They're our team, for better or worse, and they've shown us what real playoff hockey is all about.

The Pens either win or lose tonight, and all you can do is believe.

17 April 2007

Pens v Sens: Game 4 or 'Boy, it's awfully cold up on this ledge'

Recap? No.

Snappy and witty nitpicking of the defense or the absolutely stunning showing by the Ottawa Senators who, for some reason that I can only attribute to having angered the gods, have shown up for the post season and shown up hard? No.

After the game I was too busy trying to figure out if I could drown in my cup of water to form a coherent response. I then went out on my porch and looked down, down, down....wondering....thinking.....how far it would be if I just jumped and let gravity take over.

Well, since it's about a foot off the ground and the snowbank is still up to the side of the porch, obviously it wasn't too far, but leave it to an impromptu conversation with a die-hard Leafs fan to talk me down. It went something like this:

Beth: Sorry about hockey :-(
Me: Me too. ARGH. Stupid Senators. I didn't really have a reason to dislike them.....well, I do now. Count me on the Leafer's Anti-Ottawa bandwagon.
Beth: Welcome to hell, mdear.
Me: They suck.
Me: And they make Pens' fans cry. They make little girls cry.
Me: Bitches.
Beth: nappy hos
Me: .......lol
Me: I love you, dude.
Beth: ya, just call me Imus

Do it.

Go Pens go.

Seeing Red?

My ex-roommate just passed this along to me, and having read it, I'd just like to thank Michael Rosenberg of the Detroit Free Press on behalf of all Red Wings fans out there for this little gem that, for some reason, no one else seemed to have the balls to say:

"Bertuzzi practiced well enough Saturday. Is he ready to "Join the Red Wave," as the marketers say? And speaking of which: As we discuss all the reasons the Wings are struggling to sell out, let's add this: PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF THESE STUPID RED-THEMED PLAY-OFF SLOGANS. Get Your Red On, Red Storm Rising, Turn On the Red Light, Let 'Em See Red, The State of Michigan Is In the Red. I am sorry to say I only made one of those up. Enough already.

Anyway, Babcock arrived at his Saturday news conference...."

I mean seriously, can't we come up with something better? Or at least less cheesy? What, for that matter, is the problem with LET'S GO WINGS? Catch the rest of the article here, though the rest of it is a little outdated, being pre-Game 2.

I'm going to catch tonight's game on a real live TV for once - so let's hope it makes the travel worth my while. Tonight's the night we know if we might have a real series, or if the Flames are going golfing sooner rather than later.

GO WINGS! FLAMES SUCK-a-rooni-dooni!

16 April 2007


While I am still not feeling chipper, that horrible game and all the crushing 'Pens suck, you suck Crosby sucks' gets old, not to mention the rather tasteless display of the smattering of idiots wearing Pens jerseys last night booing O Canada. Idiots. How do you think the players feel, you know, the ones from CANADA. It's like breaking up a dog fight and getting bit on both ends.


Anyhow, enough of that, there is the first round of the Cocky Awards to hand out and the show must go on! Besides, I have to study, so here is the winner:

In a landslide vote (thanks to our ONE VOTE. Sheesh people, get out there, nominate someone! Hell, nominate Sidney if you think he's being a cocky little bastard...and I know there are a ton of you who think so. I'm equal opportunity) this past week goes to Don Cherry, the loudest and most color-clashing man alive in sports today. Sure he's loud and irritating, and bless Ron McLean and his magical patience, but he does have some good points and is usually right...if you can filter it out.

Congrats, Mr. Cherry! Can't wait to see what you break out for the cup finals this year.

15 April 2007

Pens v Sens: Game 3, or '...I think I'm going to be sick'

I could go on about bad officating (Referee Tait says that elbows to the face should be called, as should be blatant hooking, even if it is against the opposite team), lack of motivation and movement by the Pens towards the end, horrible hits, and my growing dislike of a one Mr. Schubert. I could even point out that the defense was not all that it was cracked up to be when it was most needed, and as the old standby scapegoat, I'm sure they're all tired from the trip. The only good things were Roberts going off on the refs, again, and Malkin finally dropping the gloves in defense of Sidney. Good for you, Geno, that's what I want to see: spirit.

Instead, I'm going to let the picture speak for my thoughts and feelings on this game and try to forget it. Tuesday is a whole different ballgame, and if these boys have taught us anything this season, it's that anything, and I mean anything, is possible.

I've run out of stupid ways to play on the Wings lame playoff theme.


Dear Flames: This is not the way to Bring Stanley Back.

Two games into the series, and the Wings will now take it to the Dome up two on the struggling Flames after this afternoon's 3-1 victory - an excellent way to start off the series, as we've all seen the Flames bipolar tendencies, and struggle or not in these couple games, I can't believe they won't come out much stronger back in Calgary.

Of course I expected a stronger start for the opposition this afternoon, too, but it seemed like once again there but for the grace of Kipper went the Flames. I'm still catching games on a tiny screen that doesn't really allow for the sort of watching that would constitute good recaps, but I have a few observations:

  • Nice to see Pavel Datsyuk dispel all those worries about his playoff peformance right away and come out strong in both games, netting one in the first minute and two seconds this afternoon. CBC was showing clips of him during warmup, positioning himself right in the middle of the warmup circle and just working on puck control while everyone else skated around him. He is a monster at it, it's mesmerizing to watch.
  • Valterri Filppula has had two excellent playoff games too, with a goal in each. Nik Lidstrom had nothing but good words about him after the game, and considering his limited ice time, it's really great to see him making so much of it.
  • After missing the last 19 games of the regular season, Henrik Zetterberg is back and tearing it up. CBC couldn't decide if they thought he was coming back a little slow (they showed a couple recaps of mishandled pucks and some sloppiness) or if he was back and brilliant as ever (a few minutes later they showed a brilliant third-period shot on goal where he even managed to move around all the traffic in front of the net and pick up his own rebound) but either way, it's great to see him back.
  • Jiri Hudler had a nice chance to score that he couldn't quite capitalize on - and instead he got knocked down by Regehr and subsequently jumped on by Brad Stuart. Now I don't know, but two guys of that size doesn't seem like the sort of strength you need to hold back the little Czech - seemed a little unnecessary to me. Things like that were what kept Calgary in the box for half of the game. Oh and speaking of Jiri, he's been playing well too - and that bit where he decked Huselius the other night was genius. Still trying to prove those scouts wrong about your physicality, Jiri?
Finally, Let's Go Wings forums has a hilarious photoshopped images thread going on. I just can't stop looking at this one and laughing, for some reason. It really seems to encapsulate these last couple of games.

(Flames Suck-a-rooni-dooni)

Cocky Awards: 1st Round

The rules are simple. Vote for one nominee in the comments and we'll post up the winners tomorrow. We went a little overboard in the nominations so there are plenty to chose from. How could we not, when the sport gives us so much to work with?

(Elly's picks)
Eastern Conference:

-Don Cherry. As anyone who has listened to him knows, this man has some balls of steel. While his mouth often doesn't quite connect to the brain, he is usually pretty entertaining, but his comment about Pavel Datsyuk yesterday asking what he was covering up since he didn't have anything down there (this was shown in a clip of Datsyuk covering his face and groin area when blocking a shot during game 1 of the Flames/Wings series) was a little overboard. Not that he isn't known for bad taste, but most of the time it stops at his suit jackets.
-Marc-Andre Fleury. Speaking of ballsy, this man is insane. The last 13 seconds of the 3rd period in game 2 of their series with the Senators proved it and shut up his critics. Way to go, Flower.
- Ottawa Mayor Larry O'Brien. The man had a person in a penguin suit interrupt him in a press conference, only to be hauled away in handcuffs. Dork. Of course, Mayor Ravenstahl had the pictures discredited by the Pittsburgh Zoo, saying that the bird was actually a kiwi and not a penguin.

(Steph's picks)
Western Conference:

-Scott Hartnell. If you don't know why, you haven't been watching the playoffs. Don't be expecting any friendly handshakes from Cheechoo at the end of this series, Mr. Hartnell.
-Roberto Luongo. Making his playoff debut, the guy had an excellent first game. And second. And part of a third. All on the same night.
-Al Sobotka. The guy picks up octopi with his bare hands (for 30 years) and swings them around for a living. Seriously. He even has his own wiki entry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Sobotka), I mean come on.

Pens v Sens: Game 2, or 'OMGOMGYESSSSSS!'


A few points:
-Not doing a recap. My internet/computer died on me and ate what I had and I am not going to retype it. Find some much better written recaps here, and here.
-What were the refs doing? I know that certain referees have had some, shall we say, questionable calls in the past, but seriously, my cat can do better. He's even black and white, already suited up and ready to roll!

Referee Tait says that high sticks should be called

-Malkin came out a bit more, which was nice, and had some key passes. Maybe he'll get a goal tonight and get back on the horse?
-NBC made a good point in saying that Roberts should be the one the Sens fans ought to boo. With Toronto he scored quite a few goals against them and proved he could slam one home again last night. Staal's goal was nice, too, and Sidney's...sick. People can tease and pick on Pens fans for being in love with The Kid, but really, when you watch him pull off stuff like that how can you argue?
-Fleury was amazing.
-Great tempo to the game, you couldn't ask for better playoff hockey than that. My mom, who really isn't into hockey too much, called me after each goal in the third saying, 'Did you see what he did? Did you see that? It's like a war!'
-Loved Roberts bitching out the ref at the end of the game. (the new) #10 is growing on me.

This picture makes me want to draw little hearts on it like a 13 year old girl.

As with all great matchups, there's been some very entertaining press coverage.

-"No matter where the Senators shot, the puck almost always hit Fleury. What a coincidence. That was particularly true during the second period, when the Senators treated the Penguins the way a stick treats a pinata." (link)

-""We have great fans," he said. "I know people in Ottawa were great for the Senators, but let me tell you something: What we expect [today] in Pittsburgh is going to be pretty unique."" Therrien knows the fans are going to rock. (link)

-""Yeah, well, things happen for a reason I guess. Obviously, I waived my no-trade clause to come here to Pittsburgh and I'm thrilled that I did that. I'm not complaining,"" Roberts on coming to Pittsburgh. Great article on why the Sens should hate him just as much as Crosby, perhaps more.

" Why boo Sidney Crosby? Here's a better question -- why not?" Interesting article from SLAM! Sports on why the Ottawa fans should feel okay in booing the prodigy. Hey, after last night, boo all you want, he gave you a reason to.

A stronger Synergy or a penalty on Orpik and things might have ended differently." The Ottawa Sun blames the outcome of last night's game on Orpik and Alfredsson's broken stick. There are so many terrible jokes that could be made. Also, does anyone else wonder why the Sun has booty pictures on their website?

3 Senators that are on my List:
-Alfredsson (surprise surprise)

The Igloo is going to reach sonic boom proportions tonight.
6pm Penguins v Senators game 3

Go Pens.

14 April 2007

Quick pregame post! Sens v Pens: Game 2

-Fleury will start in net today. All you naysayers need to shut the hell up and leave the kid alone. The coach believes in him, the Pens believe in him, and finally, after all my lack of love for him last year, so do I and the fans should too. He didn't get discouraged when he was taken to task by Therrien midseason, he came back and fought, and he's going to keep doing it. No one's perfect, and he's certainly shown he's got the skills, but as long as he keeps bringing his best, or trying to, then he should get support. I'll get off my soapbox now.

-Not even sure what to make of this, but it's hilarious. A kiwi? (Snagged from Empty Netters)

-Nice pregame interviews by CBC and NBC, although Hull is reminding me why I want to strangle him. He did, gasp! , say one thing I agreed with: sort of classless of the Ottawa fans to boo Sidney when he touched the puck. Give it a few games and let Sidney do something really good before you boo him.

-No Laraque, Petro is up instead. What does this say, when there was such a physical end to the last game.

Go Pens.

12 April 2007

Pens v Sens: Game 1, or 'Why The Ottawa Senators Make Puppies Cry'

You know that feeling when you were a kid and your parents promised you a new puppy? You tried to be cool about it, all the while talking incessantly about what you were going to name it, how happy you were just to have the chance to get a little bundle of fluffy love and joy to raise and turn into the best damn dog ever?

Well, the puppy arrived, and it has worms. Big ones, like giant kidney worms and a nasty bout of coccidia. What to do? You love the puppy, you've wanted one forever, and you know, you believe that this dog will still grown big and strong, able to run in fields of daises and green green grass all summer long...so you take the pup to the vet. The vet tells you that your pup has a bad case of parasites and might die if you don't do something immediately...but it's going to cost you.

What do you do? Do you give up hope? Do you dose the pup humanely, and let it go onto its little puppy rest, or do you whip out your credit card and cancel your trip to the Bahamas?

Well, the Pens are down with Senatoritis, and it looks bad. Symptoms include a dry, hacking cough, fever, delirium, foaming at the mouth, and gastritis (severe cases show inflammation of the colon from being bent over and boned). Do we put down these poor creatures, hoping for a better crop next year?

No. Lord Therrien and, yes, the fans, are sauntering up to the receptionist's desk and taking out their American Express for immediate infusions of Mariolox for that nasty case of bugs. The price will be high, and it may take a while for the infusions to clear it up, but with diligent care and careful monitoring, the Pens should recover and kick this case in the ass.

Let it begin.

Some thoughts about the game:
-Not doing a recap, it was too painful and I have only just gotten to watch the game after being at work all night. Hardest night of work in my life.
-If I hear another person say, 'The Pens look nervous' or 'This is Sidney's first playoff game! He's only 19! Isn't that amazing?' I am going to throw up. Here is a list of things that I don't want to hear again all playoff season, but will surely get thrown in my face ad nauseum:
*Sidney being 19, a 'youngster', or how this is his first playoff season. Trust me, I know, and while I really do adore hearing about how great he is and all, I'd like to hear about some of the other kids on the team too....then you can go back to Sidney.
*Lay off of Fleury. I understand the need for smack talk, I really do (The fans chanting 'Fleury' irritated me, but really, it's part of the playoffs, and I understand. The Pens' fans are going to jump all over the first Senator that messes up, after all), but I swear I'm going to scream if I have to hear how 'shaky' he looked, or 'nervous' one more time. Of course he was nervous, I was nervous, and all things considered, he did well all night long. The last two goals were bad, but really, that not-goal by Sidney was a punch in the gut for the Pens, and it effects the whole team. We'll see how they do on Sunday.
*We know they're young, and we know that they haven't been playoff tested. WE GET IT. SHUT UP.
-It was only by sheer force of will that I was able to finish watching the game, especially since it was spoiled for me beforehand. I'm glad I did, though, because the last minute of that game was a preview for the upcoming series. I especially liked the little smack that Talbot gave to Corvo at the end, and Comrie immediately coming over, gloves 'a flying.

3 Senators that are on my List:
-Alfredsson (nice mustache)
-Neil (Vermette flying into his arms after that goal like an excited schoolgirl was amusing)
*special mention goes to Heatley for being too good.

What will happen next time in Ottawa? One of two things: either the Pens will be so demoralized by their loss, the crowd, and intimidated by the big, mean Sens and flop like a wet crepe on the streets of Paris, or, as I suspect will happen, the boys will come out angry and looking for a better game. All those hits (holy crap, how many times did Malkin and Crosby get pasted against the boards?) will be remembered, and they'll show up much better than they did before. They know what to expect, they've seen the best that Ottawa can put out, and admittedly, it's pretty damn good...but I think the Pens can do it.

Next game on Saturday, bumped to a matinee by the damn Devils, at 3pm. (I know that it was NBC, Nova Scotian's are pissed about it, but it's much more fun to blame the New Jersey boys. Thanks to Steal Thunder.)

Go Pens.

Don't forget to look for Cocky nominations!

11 April 2007

Waves in the Red C? How many ways can I (un)cleverly mash these playoff slogans together?

Everyone across the blogosphere has beaten me to really addressing the first round Wings/Flames matchup, but now that I have backlogs of homework and am sitting around waiting for my roommate with nothing better to do, it seems like the proper time.

Elly did a great job with the Pens series preview - I'm going to be a bit more lazy. First off, Christy has a great in depth preview over at Behind the Jersey. That said, if you're looking for Wings coverage, make sure you also check out:

And for the Flames side of things:
For my contributions with regard to initial predictions, head over to Bitter Leaf where a group of us are making more than likely terrible predictions. The Wings/Flames discussion is here, but make sure you peruse the rest as well - I'm having trouble keeping my witty banter up to par. (I do, however, make fun of Ty Conklin!)

My prediction, for the record was Wings in six - but the more important question this series will bring us is whether or not HG and I will still be friends when it's over. It will take lots of pie and Slurpees, but I think we can do it.

Go Wings, Flames suck-a-rooni-dooni!

Edit: This is case in point why the Flames do not deserve to win this series. Ow.

The Odd Couple

I just can't wrap my brain around it.

Don Cherry and Brett Hull, partnered up for the playoffs on NBC? Considering I'll still be in CBC-less West Michigan for most of the playoffs (except for a glorious weekend in Toronto!), my immediate reaction was yay Cherry! But the happy is quickly eclipsed by this most important question: Who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to let Brett Hull talk more? And on CBC even, too? I hope the Canadian fans crucify him the first time he says something idiotic. It should take about five to ten minutes.

I do love the bit where Cherry says Hull's going to have to get himself some plaids - but really, it's been a while since we've seen Cherry in something so simple, hasn't it? Everyone remembers the pictured black and white eyesore from last years Cup Finals, right? And who could forget the greenishblueishpurply debacle that happened a couple games later?

The question arises, how long will they last before one of them tries to kill the other? More importantly will there be fistfights? One can hope.

10 April 2007

Holy crap the Pens are in the playoffs

Guess what time of year it is? That's right, playoff time! And this time, the Penguins are actually going to be a part of it instead of making plane reservations and deciding which resort in the Bahamas to go to with their legions of groupies and pet poodle named 'Phillipe' (I don't know if they have any poodles named 'Phillipe' for the record). This is going to be admittedly not as encompassing as I would like since tests and work are weighing me down, but there are many great sites that are following the playoffs as well, like The Pensblog, Empty Netters (and of course, the Post-Gazette page), the Confluence, and Igloo Dreams. Penguins Sports Insider is also good for some extra tidbits, like Kris Letang getting suspended. Tsk tsk, Letang, keep the stick on the ice. Maybe I should spend some time on the links someday and add those sites. On the flip side, the Sens are represented by the excellent Scarlett Ice (Sherry has a magnificient post about the match up, complete with pictures!), Hockey Will Tear Us Apart (both of HLOG fame), and Battle of Ontario.

So! How do the teams match up?

The Pens' released their starting three lines today, and there are some interesting changes.

1st Line: Roberts - Crosby - Armstrong
2nd Line: Malone - Malkin - Recchi
3rd Line: Staal - Talbot - Ouellet

Ruutu, Laraque and Christensen are the most obvious third line, but who knows with Therrien. I like seeing Talbot and Staal play together, and Army's been good lately, so with Crosby and Colby's willingness to drive to the net, get in there and snag passes from Sid, that might work against the Sens' defense. Or Emery will try to sit on Armstrong and tie him to the goalpost as a spoil of war. Who knows.

You can snag a peek at the Senators' lines in Sherry's blog. They've got some good blueline coverage, but the Pens also have some understated men back there in the form of Gonchar, Eaton, Orpik and of course, Whitney, who has had a surprisingly excellent season. Good job, Ryan!

Now for the most important part:

The goalies

Offense? Defense? Psha. The real story is about the men between the pipes, those loveable teddy-bears in shocking yellow pads...or in Emery's case, a grizzly bear in a jumpsuit. Let's meet these cuddly contestants!

First up: Ray Emery.

'Rayzor' (not to be confused with his Torontonian counterpart), is a native of Hamilton, ON, and has been with the Sens since 2001. At the ripe old age of 24, he is 33-16-6, GA 2.47 and SV% .918. He is 13th overall. What does this mean? That Rayzor cuts like a knife (just wait, I've got at least 4 games to think up tons of horrible puns). How has he done against the Pens this season? 0-1-2, GA 3.16, and SV% .863. Not quite as sharp.

Emery is a decent goalie, though, and when he's hot, he's red hot. With the first two games at home for the Sens, that will give them a big jump, and that is always important to a goalie who can ride a wave of support like Emery does. I can't say too much about his style since I haven't had a chance to watch him as much as others...but I'll get a chance this week. Exciting!

And now, drumroll please: Marc-Andre Fleury.

'Flower', while being as pretty as his manly nickname suggests, is also one hell of a goalie. After an admittedly not-so great season last year (no, I'm not posting stats. They make puppies cry), Fleur has really come into his own this season with a record of 40-16-9, GA 2.83, and a SV% .906. His stats don't really show his excellent ability to turn the tide of a game and make some essential stops. His style has settled down from last year, and things he struggled with, certain saves or flashier stops, have become easier for him (and less fancy). His glove is also improving, which is a welcome sign.

Against the Sens? 2-1-0, GA 2.83, and SV% .886. Again, as with Emery, he's hot and has had some impressive streaks this season (unbeaten in regulation for 14 starts), as well as setting a record for most stops in an opening game shutout (thanks Philly!). Do I think he's got the goods? You betcha. The problem? Injury, of course, and Fleury can get psyched out sometimes and thrown off his game, both of which might be an issue in a back to back up in Ottawa.

Overall, I'm going to call this a seven game series of fun and ulcers, ending with the Penguins on top for the second round. What can I say? I'd call a Penguins win even if they were playing the Ducks, but I do think they've got what it takes to beat the Senators.

Go Pens go, baby.

09 April 2007

The Red Wave parts the C of Red?

Well it looks like I'm down to one team, in the end...so here goes nothing:

Series E - #1 Detroit vs. #8 Calgary
Date Time (ET) Location Network
Thu., April 12 7:00 p.m. at Detroit VERSUS, CBC
Sun., April 15 1:00 p.m. at Detroit NBC, CBC
Tue., April 17 10:00 p.m. at Calgary CBC, VERSUS
Thu., April 19 TBD at Calgary CBC, VERSUS
*Sat., April 21 3:00 p.m. at Detroit NBC, CBC
*Sun., April 22 TBD at Calgary CBC, VERSUS
*Tue., April 24 TBD at Detroit CBC, VERSUS

And while we wait until Thursday for the fun to start, I'll be blogging playoff predictions with an awesome group over at Bitter Leaf, so be sure to wander over and catch that.

Also what is it with Belfour getting in trouble this season?

Back in black (and gold)

Aside from the mind-numbing exhaustion from getting in at 4am, not sleeping well, then getting up 4 hours later, I felt the need to post this:

Bring it, Ottawa

Series D - #4 Ottawa vs. #5 Pittsburgh
Date Time (ET) Location Network
Wed., April 11 7:00 p.m. at Ottawa CBC, RDS, VERSUS
Sat., April 14 3:00 p.m. at Ottawa CBC, RDS, NBC
Sun., April 15 6:00 p.m. at Pittsburgh VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Tue., April 17 7:00 p.m. at Pittsburgh VERSUS, CBC, RDS
*Thu., April 19 7:00 p.m. at Ottawa CBC, RDS, VERSUS
*Sun., April 22 1:00 p.m. at Pittsburgh NBC, CBC, RDS
*Tue., April 24 7:00 p.m. at Ottawa VERSUS, CBC, RDS

Game was great, Sean Avery is a douche, and watching the players skate around and compete with each other for who could throw the shirt the farthest was great (Laraque has a killer arm). Updates later, studying for a surgical instrument practical now.

Can't wait for Wednesday. Go Pens!

08 April 2007

I knew it couldn't last.

The Hockey Gods giveth...

And the Hockey Gods taketh away.

Time to bring out the pie charts again! This one is a chart showing what percent of me is not happy right now.

Um...well, Go Wings!

07 April 2007

The aftermath of all this happiness might suck.

Today the Hockey Gods said to themselves, "Man, it really sucks that Stephanie didn't get to go to Pittsburgh just because Northwest Airlines is in asshole, doesn't it? We should do something super nice for her." And super nice thing they did - Wings, Leafs, Oilers, even, and Petr Prucha got the only Rangers goal in the Pens game which, even though I didn't see, meant 'ly was forced to cheer for him for me (especially since the Pens did end up winning - see I'm a nice co-blogger, I gave her that much at least!).

I'm surprised I didn't just destroy my computer with the keyboard smash that happened in reaction to the outcome of the Leafs/Habs game. I got the first two periods of the game via some French Canadian broadcast and only scored HNIC for the third, so instead of trying to piecemeal together a shoddy recap of some sort I'm instead going to feature guest-blogger Krissy, a GTA-based Leafs fan who caught the full game in all its glory. All I have to say is that I've never seen a regular season game play out so much like watching the playoffs and it almost made not being in Pittsburgh with Elly worthwhile.

I was all ready to be upset, especially after the Wings just dominated this afternoon - I even spent seven whole cents to copy a page out of this book (probably the best thing I've ever discovered there) so I could express my anger through, uh, poetry. But you know, I think it could be read from the POV of a Habs fan (I'm looking at you, Jordi!) now too, and I think everyone needs to see such a thing as a hockey sonnet, so I'm going to throw it in here anyway.

What about them Leafs, eh!
(expletive deleted) couldn't score an (e.d.) goal
if they propped the (e.d.'s) up
in front of the (e.d.)
and put the (e.d.) puck on their (e.d.) stick
and the (e.d.) goalie fell asleep
and someebody (e.d.) yelled, 'SHOOT THE (e.d.) THING!'
(E-E-E-E-E. D-eeeeeee.!!!!!!!!)

Beautiful poetry, right? I should change my major's focus from fiction to poetry just so I can write "sonnets" like that. (Although you know, it really is something that's come out of my mouth with regard to the Leafs several times.)

So now I'm left procrastinating on an essay I really need to work on by means of the last BoA of the season. I started really torn - we all know I want the Oilers to win, or would, normally...but as a Wings fan I just can't pass up the opportunity to screw over the Avalanche. That, and despite that we probably won't be able to be friends for a little bit, I'd much rather see Hockeygirl's Flames take us on in the first round. So much that, inspired by her, I have made a pie chart of where my loyalties were supposed to lie for the two and a half hours of that game:

But then! Colorado failed to pull anything off against Nashville and suddenly I could cheer the Oil again! So the amount of my pie chart that was dedicated to Hemsky went back to looking like this:

Ah well, we can still be friends, right HG? I mean you really can't blame me, Hemsky and Smid both? And after the last couple months I'm just happy to see a win at all, and in regulation even! And Roli interview afterward was squee-worthy, too. (PS the pie is delicious! Maybe not the best choice of dinners, but...)

Finally, hat tip to Skye for letting me know that the Blue Jackets announcers let "Bryzgalov has been Bryzilliant!" complete with improper pronunciation of both words happen.

Oh, and Buffalo takes the President's, not that we're surprised. CapsChick, I love you anyway!

For the record, the phrase "puck moving defenseman" coming from anywhere near Edmonton still makes me want to gag. And if I hear one more word about the Oilers missing that draft pick lottery I'll throw up. ALSO finally, does anyone who ISN'T Stortini fight on this team anymore?

Whip your Conk out!

"Cocklin" was first discovered and put to use (okay shh I am aware this is full of inaccuracy and exaggeration) by the drunk guys behind me at the Crunch game (where it ranked slightly more clever than Popperle/"Potpourri" and Pushor/"Pushover" and light years beyond Methot/"ME HOT"), but it appears that the magical world of Facebook is now horning in on their creativity with yet another play on words linking Ty Conklin to a particular bit of anatomy. Granted the Facebook group seems just a bit less hateful... I, of course, had to join, and then felt it was also my duty to spread around just how little it takes to amuse me. Especially seeing as how I couldn't come up with anything clever for his March 30th birthday.

Look, he shaved! Just as I was just coming to terms with the scruff and even admitting it wasn't bad looking, ask Elly!

That said, this is the post where I say I hate the Sabres. Or no, I don't even hate them, I just feel nothing toward them. I don't particularly dislike them, but I have no reason to cheer for them either. And they're within mere fractions of points of my Wings' President's Trophy. But okay. You got me. Fine. I love Ty Conklin. And if the damn Sabres take that trophy, like they're poised to do, I'll be content in having won in the West, in having at least smited the stupid Ducks and their stupid Chris Pronger, because I'll be thinking of happy little Ty Conklin getting another chance - maybe - and hopefully not fucking it up. (Although, CapsChick has assured me that she'll be cheering for her boys to pull of a win, so I totally don't need to be worrying, right?)

That said, I still haven't entirely forgiven you Conklin. Don't push my love.

Randomly, why is it that he continues cycling through all my friends' teams? From Skye's Magic Wands - er, Blue Jackets - to Drea's Sabres...what's next, one of 'ly's Pens come this summer? (I'm so lucky she's in Pittsburgh right now, she might literally implode at the thought).


And while we're on the topic of ex-Oilers, Lauren Pronger ruined our season, did you hear? I mean I've been saying that since the beginning (just ask Elly!) but hey, now I have whole newspapers rallying behind my spiteful little opinion! I think Covered in Oil sums the whole thing up the nicest, but I do feel the need to echo - why on earth is all of this showing up eight months afer the fact like some new brilliant discovery? And sure, we were all pissed too, but I wonder just what's going to come of that beautiful little divorce-advocating quote. Good plan, that one.


Happier news exists as well today, though - in the form of Pavel Datsyuk signing a shiny new 7 year contract with the Wings. Christy has a collection of reactions, both her own and those of most of the rest of the Wings blogosphere - all I can offer in return is approval of the move and confidence that those floundering playoff years aren't anything to be worried about.

‘’This contract was extremely important to me,'’ Datsyuk said. ‘’Especially since I have been a Red Wing since 2001."

Isn't it nice to have players who want to stay?