07 April 2007

The aftermath of all this happiness might suck.

Today the Hockey Gods said to themselves, "Man, it really sucks that Stephanie didn't get to go to Pittsburgh just because Northwest Airlines is in asshole, doesn't it? We should do something super nice for her." And super nice thing they did - Wings, Leafs, Oilers, even, and Petr Prucha got the only Rangers goal in the Pens game which, even though I didn't see, meant 'ly was forced to cheer for him for me (especially since the Pens did end up winning - see I'm a nice co-blogger, I gave her that much at least!).

I'm surprised I didn't just destroy my computer with the keyboard smash that happened in reaction to the outcome of the Leafs/Habs game. I got the first two periods of the game via some French Canadian broadcast and only scored HNIC for the third, so instead of trying to piecemeal together a shoddy recap of some sort I'm instead going to feature guest-blogger Krissy, a GTA-based Leafs fan who caught the full game in all its glory. All I have to say is that I've never seen a regular season game play out so much like watching the playoffs and it almost made not being in Pittsburgh with Elly worthwhile.

I was all ready to be upset, especially after the Wings just dominated this afternoon - I even spent seven whole cents to copy a page out of this book (probably the best thing I've ever discovered there) so I could express my anger through, uh, poetry. But you know, I think it could be read from the POV of a Habs fan (I'm looking at you, Jordi!) now too, and I think everyone needs to see such a thing as a hockey sonnet, so I'm going to throw it in here anyway.

What about them Leafs, eh!
(expletive deleted) couldn't score an (e.d.) goal
if they propped the (e.d.'s) up
in front of the (e.d.)
net
and put the (e.d.) puck on their (e.d.) stick
and the (e.d.) goalie fell asleep
and someebody (e.d.) yelled, 'SHOOT THE (e.d.) THING!'
(E-E-E-E-E. D-eeeeeee.!!!!!!!!)

Beautiful poetry, right? I should change my major's focus from fiction to poetry just so I can write "sonnets" like that. (Although you know, it really is something that's come out of my mouth with regard to the Leafs several times.)

So now I'm left procrastinating on an essay I really need to work on by means of the last BoA of the season. I started really torn - we all know I want the Oilers to win, or would, normally...but as a Wings fan I just can't pass up the opportunity to screw over the Avalanche. That, and despite that we probably won't be able to be friends for a little bit, I'd much rather see Hockeygirl's Flames take us on in the first round. So much that, inspired by her, I have made a pie chart of where my loyalties were supposed to lie for the two and a half hours of that game:

But then! Colorado failed to pull anything off against Nashville and suddenly I could cheer the Oil again! So the amount of my pie chart that was dedicated to Hemsky went back to looking like this:

Ah well, we can still be friends, right HG? I mean you really can't blame me, Hemsky and Smid both? And after the last couple months I'm just happy to see a win at all, and in regulation even! And Roli interview afterward was squee-worthy, too. (PS the pie is delicious! Maybe not the best choice of dinners, but...)

Finally, hat tip to Skye for letting me know that the Blue Jackets announcers let "Bryzgalov has been Bryzilliant!" complete with improper pronunciation of both words happen.

Oh, and Buffalo takes the President's, not that we're surprised. CapsChick, I love you anyway!

For the record, the phrase "puck moving defenseman" coming from anywhere near Edmonton still makes me want to gag. And if I hear one more word about the Oilers missing that draft pick lottery I'll throw up. ALSO finally, does anyone who ISN'T Stortini fight on this team anymore?

8 comments:

hockeygirl said...

Dude! YOU MADE A REAL PIE CHART! I LOVE IT! LOVE IT! I'll just plug my ears and ignore the Roli comment. We can still be friends. I'll start working on the bracket.

Steph said...

You doubted me!? Of course I made pie charts! (I keep taking pictures after every piece I eat so I can refer back whenever I need to chart something out...)

hockeygirl said...

No, I didn't doubt you! It's brilliant! I will get a pie...

Sherry said...

That pie chart...looks DELICIOUS.

Steph said...

It was! In fact, the two thirds of it that remain still are! Food is totally the new way to chart things. We should make a cake with different colored frosting to represent your discipline wheel!

Jordi said...

*cries and runs away* I DONT KNOW YOU ANYMORE.

Steph said...

Wahh can't we still be friends and just hate the Islanders together? I'LL CRY JORDI.

Sherry said...

We should make a cake with different colored frosting to represent your discipline wheel!

You know what, I would be all for it haha. I love baking!