The Hockey Gods Love Me Again!

After two games against non-Central Division foes, I think I'm finally ready to watch hockey again. Okay, in all seriousness I missed the Preds and Jackets games because of work, but even so, when I turned on my TV this Tuesday and was met with the requisite shot of Kipper and his perpetual stoic yet quirky facial expressions, I just about yelped in joy. And uh, sorry HG, but it had nothing to do with the Flames specifically.

Thankfully, with a new, slightly-improved schedule having been approved, we will hopefully never have to sit through another month of "rivalry building" (Really? You think so? Because all it made me want was to never see those teams again.) inter-divisional play. And look, bore us less and we start winning again!

I'm quite a few days late on Tuesday's 5-3 win against the Flames, so I'll defer to Christy's recap at Winging it in Motown and just add a few highlights:

• At the start of the game someone mentioned something about a player being "hemmed in down low". The speed at which my head jerked up to the TV screen was disgusting. Don't you judge me.

• Jiri Hudler spent the whole game harassing Dion Phaneuf. This was hilarious to watch, as Phaneuf has 6 inches and 40 pounds on him, and it was remnant of watching someone try to shoo an annoying gnat buzzing around their head. Eventually Phaneuf took the bait and delivered a (clean but massive and probably much more than necessary for someone of that size) open-ice hit. Andreas Lilja answered the call, defended his teammate, and downed Phaneuf in record time - he's really starting to become a player you can appreciate more.
  

• The goal scoring all game long was a joy to watch - almost every goal was something special. Pavel Datsyuk, who looks like he's really starting to get hot, scored a beauty just under the crossbar and then later slipped by three Flames to put in what was probably his prettiest of the season - I'm starting to think the "Houdini" nickname might catch on. He also got an assist, ending him up with a three point game. Hudler and Valtteri Filppula combined to score another beauty later on with a move that left me thinking they've been taking notes from the Datsyuk/Zetterberg team.
  

• Kris Draper took an awkward hit that resulted in him leaving the game. The official word is a sprained knee, and that he'll be out 2-4 weeks, but the announcers also said he drove himself to the DMC - I'm not sure what that says, really.

Of course the fresher news is yesterday's 5-2 massacre of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Granted "massacre" might be a little strong for an end score of 5-2, but the Lightning looked weak all night long and were held to only one shot in the first period - so I'd say it flies. By the end the Lightning had managed 23 shots, but the Wings still dominated play for almost the entirety of the game. For a full recap, check out Matt's post at On the Wings. My notes are:

• The game against the Flames was one of pretty goals - this one was of gorgeous passes that set up pretty goals. Chris Chelios started it off with a beautiful one to who scored to put the Wings on the board first. I know I've been a fan of the kid from the beginning, but the plays he's making and the numbers he's putting up in the still limited ice time he's getting are really starting to say something about him. Jiri HudlerAndreas Lilja, continuing his case to win me over, set up Tomas Kopecky later on with a pass that Daniels and Redmond continued to talk about for remainder of the game. It was great to see Kopy's goal, as well - his first of the season with a gorgeous shoulder-fake that Marc Denis completely bought into.

• Unfortunately the game also brought about the end of Henrik Zetterberg's home point streak, which topped out at 27 games. The real unfortunate thing is that he nearly had an absolutely highlight-reel worthy goal off of another set of gorgeous passes, but he just barely clanged it off the post. Considering his record right now, I doubt he's too worried.
  

• Aaron Downey once again looked good - not only is he tough, but he's intelligent. I was happy to see him avoid fighting Andre Roy despite the other's goading him all night long. The Wings were dominating and didn't need to give the Lightning any sort of momentum, and Downey knew it.

In other Wings news, they've taken a (sort of) cue from the Oilers and updated their roster page with a nice grid of roster shots linking to the separate players' pages. Nice work making what are probably the least ugly graphics you've come up with all year long, guys (seriously have you seen the wallpapers?), but what, couldn't afford the Edmonton Sears Portrait Studio method?

The next game will be this Saturday against Tracy and the Phoenix Coyotes. I'll be missing it for the first Bronco Hockey game of the year that I don't have to work, and I'm sad to be missing new 'Yote Bryzgalov's antics, but I'm sure our resident Coyotes HLoGger will update me...right?

(And how about Hemsky with a cute little empty netter against the Jackets the other day? Yay!)

Broncos Ate my Hockey

I was all set tonight. I took my last final of the semester earlier and a good friend promised me that if I came by her going away party tonight she'd even let the TV (except for the dreadful portion of the evening that belonged to Grey's Anatomy) provide me with beautiful, beautiful hockey.

On the way to her apartment, no more than a ten minute drive, the Sharks scored twice. When I got there the crestfallen faces of two occupants informed me that the NHL still hates me, FSN was showing the damn Tigers game (which for the record was rain delayed), and their EDUcable - essentially the college's cable network - doesn't pick up VERSUS. My desperate plea for a radio lasted through the first commercial break and the rest of that hour was spent reaching the conclusion that Justin Chambers looks a little bit like Ty Conklin (it's the facial expressions, I swear).

You bastards, you ruined my night.

Therefore I'm sticking with I didn't see it, so it didn't happen. Looking forward to Game - ahem - one on Saturday.

And since I don't have that to talk about, I guess what I'd be stuck with would be....oh, that. So Capschick is running this playoff pool with an absolutely evil little twist wherein the winners of each round get to pick other participants to write up nice things about their team. The real sort of nice, not the kind where I say I Really Love The Flames for setting up that amazing irony that was game six. And since the winner of round one was none other than Duncan of Flamesblog, I, as not only a Detroit fan but an Edmonton fan as well, would seem to be the prime target for this horror. So here you have it everyone:

A (slightly forced) Tribute To the Flames (in 500 words or less).

So here's the deal. I actually like(d) the Flames. Last year I even bandwaggoned them (as per Elly's request) for the five minutes it took them, after the Wings got stomped by Edmonton, to lose to Anaheim. And even now I like them (this may have been helped by the fact that we just beat them) as much as could be expected. Anyway so what I'm trying to say is TAKE THAT this won't be quite so painful after all!

Jordi, being the little jerk she is (shh I'm allowed, she's cheering against my team this round) already went through all the players...though I'm not sure all her comments get to be considered "well-researched" or sans name-calling, which leaves me at a little bit of a loss...but okay, here we go.

The Flames are a Canadian team, and they aren't the Habs or the Sens. There's some points right there. For that matter, they're a Western conference team and we all know that's where my loyalties lie. At one point in their existance, Dwayne Roloson played for them, that ups their count a little too. When I look at their roster there is only one player I really dislike (Langkow you huge jerk stop running Hemsky over) - oh wait, does that count toward name-calling? - and I actually appreciate Phaneuf (see HG!), even though every time the announcers say his name I have to deal with a friend who makes a noise that is something like that creepy lecherous old man chuckle Marty Brodeur makes when he catches the pizza in that Delissio commercial. They have McCarty and I still cheer for him.

You can't - and I don't - argue that Kiprusoff didn't make the better showing in that series, goalie-wise, either. Hasek's impressed me more than I expected when the season started, but Kipper stood on his head to keep his team in the game, facing four, five times as many shots as Dom some games. Funny how it's the losing goalie we all feel bad for (Turco, anyone?) because they didn't the support they needed. The thing that impresses me the most about him though, is just how absolutely collected, stoic even, he always is. I love a good goalie fight, I love when Dom goes crazy or when Roli tries to get up on someone's business, as much as anyone - but that sort of absolutely concentration no matter what's going on around him is something you don't see all that often. So okay, I give Kipper lots of credit. There's one more nice thing.

And last but not least (I'm really running out of nice things to say here and it's 2:44 am and I've had a lot of beer over the course of the night), I wanted to link to it again for everyone's amusement but it seems to be gone (give me a day, it'll find its way to yousendit or something) ...but I have to say for all the fun I made of it, that Stanleyback playoff song, in all its Justin Timberlake-inspired trainwreck sort of glory, was in some twisted way a thing of beauty. Really. Go Flames. I hope you're happy.

Victory! Irony! ROUND TWO!

WINGS WIN SERIES 4-2!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we hope you enjoyed the Tour de Franzen.
(I swear McLean said it and if not he certainly should have)

I have a cat named Jiri. I'm not kidding (oh shut up, Elly has one named Sidney and if that's not worse I'll eat uh...something nearby and generally inedible, I'm too happy to be clever) and he even acts sometimes painfully like his counterpart. I just picked him up and spun in circles around the room (which he hated, for the record), telling him that it's okay, even though he was scratched (you bastards!) and couldn't help, we still won. And then I did a happy "we're going to Round 2" dance. I then proceeded from there to tell my roommate (who could not possibly care less about hockey) the entire story of the Franzen/McLennan saga (her completely improvised impression of McLennan had me actually on the floor, having spat out ice tea from laughing so hard). And now, finally, I am capable of making a post. Why so excited? Well folks, we didn't choke! A little much? Probably, but I had a lot of energy and welcome to Round Two, guys!

So thanks to that beautiful outcome, I'm feeling particularly thankful. For what, you ask? For all of these things!

• Johan Franzen for being amazing and ending that game in double OT on a note of hilarious irony.

• The Red Wings in general for realizing that I'd be horribly upset if they had to play the deciding game on Tuesday night during one of my finals and winning that for me, and for including cute things like this in your game notes:
• After losing two games at the Saddledome last week, the Wings switched up their stall assignments in the visitors' dressing room Sunday.

• Blogs like Gorilla Crouch who have game recaps up already for me to direct you all toward (bonus points for the absolutely golden Ted Leo reference) and all my other Wings blogging friends like Behind the Jersey (good luck with the paper, Christy!) and On the Wings.
  

• The best co-blogger I could ever ask for, Gator Elly, for staying awake through the game with me even though it was "boring" (I admit, I said it too) for three periods, and for not cheering too loudly for Kipper (at least in my direction), and for not telling me who won even though my feed lagged behind about a minute - oh and for not calling me Lupul...too much. Um.

• All the people whose TVs I filched during this series to make up for my lack of cable (even though we kept losing when I did it) and who I dragged out to bars with me for the same reason. Thanks for making nights like these happen, let's do it again next round!

• Mike of Bitter Leaf for allowing me a place to make a correct (probably my only one of the sort!) prediction with regard to my Wings.
  

• My always entertaining buddy Chapel for this post-game gem:
• Chapel: well played
  Me: I'm making my "I told you so" rounds now.
  Chapel: The Flames were a sexy pick, the Penguins of the West if you will
  Me: Shows how well sex appeal holds up in hockey?
  Chapel: FIGURATIVELY

• Jordi for holding my hand and cheering my Wings and promising me we'd win - and for all that victory-inspiring pre-game fantasizing about Ethan, Jussi, and hot chocolate - I'd never have been able to pull it off without your help

• HG for staying my friend and making it a whole week without saying anything too mean not followed up with -aroonidooni. I knew we could make it! Celebratory S383 pie and slurpees for everyone! (Soooo...you're going to cheer for us now, right? We're red, it's almost familiar!)

• CapsChick for not minding too much that I couldn't help her out and lose tonight. I'm sorry!
  

• The Flames corner of the hockey blogosphere for being awesome this past series - it's been fun, guys, it really has. Hope to see you all around still.
  

And everyone I forgot! Now, we hope and we pray that Vancouver crashes and burns (I know, I know, it hurts me to say it too, I'm sorry Roberto!) because I'd sure as hell rather face the Stars next series than the Sharks (okay I lied, really I'd rather SEE us face the Sharks but I like our chances better with the Stars)....and we wait and see. Go Wings!

They say red is the color of anger, right?

I couldn't make a post right after the game in part because my apartment needed desperate attention in the form of cleaning - and in part because I don't think I could initially have said much more than what just happened. Whatever it was, it ended in a 5-1 Detroit victory (spitefully, my team does better when I watched the games on a tiny computer screen than out on a real TV), moving them up 3-2 in the series, but the road there was interesting to say the least.

The first period was, honestly, sort of boring. Maybe it wasn't if you were there, maybe it wasn't on a real TV, but my little red and white blurs were not very inspiring looking. It was hard-hitting close sort of boring, though - and I found that familiar worry of will we pull this off? start to hit me. But I wasn't worried - they scratched Calder and put my rookie Jiri Hudler back in so I had to be optimistic!

The second started off relatively similarly, until we burst out scoring three, and I started to calm down some. Oh and Chelios (who, thank you to both NBC who told us three times, and CBC who mentioned it at least twice, is forty-five, DID YOU KNOW THAT?!) grabbed his first goal of the season. As usual, my choppy feed doesn't really allow for a lot of great commenting, but for a good recap from someone who was there, check out Behind the Jersey, and for a good recap all around head over to Gorilla Crouch.

And then all of a sudden the Flames just exploded - I don't know what happened, a mix of frustration, futility, desperation, certainly some lack of class, but it just kept snowballing.

It only gets worse from here.

• With 11:25 left in the third, Langkow (I knew I didn't like him I knew it! You touch Hemmer and you're clearly up to no good!) gets hipchecked by Brett Lebda. While both of them are lying on the ground, Langkow leans over and punches Lebda in the face - he eventually had to be helped off the ice, and the end result was a concussion. So it begins.

• 3:17 remaining in the game, the Flames pull Kipper. The concensus at the time at least according to NBC (I was actually watching HNIC but I think they were making similar remarks) was that they didn't like the way Detroit was running him, were worried about potential injury, wanted to protect Kiprusoff, etc. Smart move? Maybe, until McLennan plays a grand total of 18 seconds before administering a pretty good slash to Johan Franzen and then following it up by taking swing at Franzen's midsection during the break in play. Makes you wonder about intentions, huh? He gets thrown out of the game and Kipper comes back in to play the last bit.

• While everyone is still reeling with 42 or so seconds left in the game, Iginla decides they aren't done yet - somewhere around the blueline he backchecks Schneider, a few seconds later shoves his stick in Schneider's stomach, takes a few more strides and then crosschecks him from behind, at which point he's finally given a penalty.

Who knows what will happen with regard to suspensions - but this certainly didn't look good with regard to the Flames, and it certainly wasn't respectful, nor should it serve as anything inspiring.

That said, the Wings played some good, strong hockey out there today, and have a chance to come out tomorrow night and show the Flames, and their fans, how it's done in Hockeytown, hopefully without any of the mess the Flames brought into the Joe this afternoon. It's going to be a rough game, guys.

GO WINGS GO!!
9 pm tomorrow night

PS hey see look, when you don't scratch my rookie you win!

Hang me out to dry like some panties on a whore here!

I went out to the bar with some friends to catch the game tonight - let's just say my couple beers beforehand weren't enough. About partway through the first I wanted to make a drinking game wherein the only rule was a drink every time the referees made a terrible phantom call. Alas, I had to drive us all home, and if I'd really gone with that plan I probably wouldn't have been able to remove my car from its horrible parallel park job at all - and my wallet might have suffered a pretty good deal as well. So instead, I ordered asiago cheese dip with sun-dried tomatoes and artichokes and ate a chip every time the game made me want to cry. I think I gained five pounds (but my liver's saying thank you).

I imagine this is Draper and Warrener working together to see what sort of interesting penalty calls the refs can come up with.

I suppose I should be worried right now - and I suppose at the very least my smugness after the first two games has been rubbed out. Maybe it's the fact that I think I caught the Plague somewhere in the past few days or maybe (worrisomely) I'm just no longer suprised by the Wings Senatorsian ability to choke in the playoffs, or maybe I'm just going a little crazy, but I am surprisingly unrattled by this very much becoming a series again.

Still, Jordi, it's time for a new ritual - shirtless Ethan Moreau was good fun, but he's failing us - and Roli certainly didn't work at all, boo. Maybe fantasizing really isn't the same as dreaming?

I think this conversation with my long-standing Devils (I know, I know, right? He's in Toronto, too; such bad taste.) fan friend sums the evening up:

Chapel: You've gotta be so pissed right now

Me: I am strangely numb.

Chapel: I mean, fucking Ottawa for one

Me: oh okay yeah that one I'm just pissed about

Chapel: Calgary though

Chapel: Scary

Scary indeed. So Saturday it is. What do we have going for us? They're not outplaying us in Calgary the painful way we outplayed them in Detroit. Even so, between now and game five, something needs to be done about our waning abilities (read: the way we seem to suck) on the PP - and the PK for that matter. I'm also with everyone else who's mentioned it in pulling Samuelsson for Hudler. We've lost both games since the kid's been scratched, and while he hasn't exactly been a huge force, nor is anyone really expecting him to be (I should hope not, at 5'9"), he gets in there and makes things happen - and two games without him hasn't made us look so great, eh?

Oh and Ilya Bryzgalov says ON THE NET FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. I think a large portion of this was looping in my brain for at least 30 minutes of tonight's game. It happened out loud at least once.

PS I stopped hating Langkow after the rational part of my brain forced me to realize he didn't hurt Hemmer on purpose - but the hate is back, and possibly festering. Speaking of players I hate though, Ron Maclean has earned my eternal love for tonight's crack at my Most Hated Player Derek Boogaard, and you can catch it over at Double Dion. And you most certainly should - oh, Calgary, you and your uh, livestock owning fans. (Does this mean I can blame him for tonight's game?)

I've run out of stupid ways to play on the Wings lame playoff theme.

VICTORY!!!

Dear Flames: This is not the way to Bring Stanley Back.

Two games into the series, and the Wings will now take it to the Dome up two on the struggling Flames after this afternoon's 3-1 victory - an excellent way to start off the series, as we've all seen the Flames bipolar tendencies, and struggle or not in these couple games, I can't believe they won't come out much stronger back in Calgary.

Of course I expected a stronger start for the opposition this afternoon, too, but it seemed like once again there but for the grace of Kipper went the Flames. I'm still catching games on a tiny screen that doesn't really allow for the sort of watching that would constitute good recaps, but I have a few observations:

• Nice to see Pavel Datsyuk dispel all those worries about his playoff peformance right away and come out strong in both games, netting one in the first minute and two seconds this afternoon. CBC was showing clips of him during warmup, positioning himself right in the middle of the warmup circle and just working on puck control while everyone else skated around him. He is a monster at it, it's mesmerizing to watch.

• Valterri Filppula has had two excellent playoff games too, with a goal in each. Nik Lidstrom had nothing but good words about him after the game, and considering his limited ice time, it's really great to see him making so much of it.

• After missing the last 19 games of the regular season, Henrik Zetterberg is back and tearing it up. CBC couldn't decide if they thought he was coming back a little slow (they showed a couple recaps of mishandled pucks and some sloppiness) or if he was back and brilliant as ever (a few minutes later they showed a brilliant third-period shot on goal where he even managed to move around all the traffic in front of the net and pick up his own rebound) but either way, it's great to see him back.

• Jiri Hudler had a nice chance to score that he couldn't quite capitalize on - and instead he got knocked down by Regehr and subsequently jumped on by Brad Stuart. Now I don't know, but two guys of that size doesn't seem like the sort of strength you need to hold back the little Czech - seemed a little unnecessary to me. Things like that were what kept Calgary in the box for half of the game. Oh and speaking of Jiri, he's been playing well too - and that bit where he decked Huselius the other night was genius. Still trying to prove those scouts wrong about your physicality, Jiri?

Finally, Let's Go Wings forums has a hilarious photoshopped images thread going on. I just can't stop looking at this one and laughing, for some reason. It really seems to encapsulate these last couple of games.

LET'S GO WINGS!
(Flames Suck-a-rooni-dooni)

Waves in the Red C? How many ways can I (un)cleverly mash these playoff slogans together?

Everyone across the blogosphere has beaten me to really addressing the first round Wings/Flames matchup, but now that I have backlogs of homework and am sitting around waiting for my roommate with nothing better to do, it seems like the proper time.

Elly did a great job with the Pens series preview - I'm going to be a bit more lazy. First off, Christy has a great in depth preview over at Behind the Jersey. That said, if you're looking for Wings coverage, make sure you also check out:

• On the Wings
• Behind the Jersey
  
• Gorilla Crouch
• Abel to Yzerman

And for the Flames side of things:

• Battle of Alberta
• Double D(ion)
• The Real Deal Hockey
• Flamesblog
• Five Hole Fanatics
• Open Ice Hits
• Completely Hammered
  

For my contributions with regard to initial predictions, head over to Bitter Leaf where a group of us are making more than likely terrible predictions. The Wings/Flames discussion is here, but make sure you peruse the rest as well - I'm having trouble keeping my witty banter up to par. (I do, however, make fun of Ty Conklin!)

My prediction, for the record was Wings in six - but the more important question this series will bring us is whether or not HG and I will still be friends when it's over. It will take lots of pie and Slurpees, but I think we can do it.

Go Wings, Flames suck-a-rooni-dooni!

Edit: This is case in point why the Flames do not deserve to win this series. Ow.

The aftermath of all this happiness might suck.

Today the Hockey Gods said to themselves, "Man, it really sucks that Stephanie didn't get to go to Pittsburgh just because Northwest Airlines is in asshole, doesn't it? We should do something super nice for her." And super nice thing they did - Wings, Leafs, Oilers, even, and Petr Prucha got the only Rangers goal in the Pens game which, even though I didn't see, meant 'ly was forced to cheer for him for me (especially since the Pens did end up winning - see I'm a nice co-blogger, I gave her that much at least!).

I'm surprised I didn't just destroy my computer with the keyboard smash that happened in reaction to the outcome of the Leafs/Habs game. I got the first two periods of the game via some French Canadian broadcast and only scored HNIC for the third, so instead of trying to piecemeal together a shoddy recap of some sort I'm instead going to feature guest-blogger Krissy, a GTA-based Leafs fan who caught the full game in all its glory. All I have to say is that I've never seen a regular season game play out so much like watching the playoffs and it almost made not being in Pittsburgh with Elly worthwhile.

I was all ready to be upset, especially after the Wings just dominated this afternoon - I even spent seven whole cents to copy a page out of this book (probably the best thing I've ever discovered there) so I could express my anger through, uh, poetry. But you know, I think it could be read from the POV of a Habs fan (I'm looking at you, Jordi!) now too, and I think everyone needs to see such a thing as a hockey sonnet, so I'm going to throw it in here anyway.

What about them Leafs, eh!
(expletive deleted) couldn't score an (e.d.) goal
if they propped the (e.d.'s) up
in front of the (e.d.) net
and put the (e.d.) puck on their (e.d.) stick
and the (e.d.) goalie fell asleep
and someebody (e.d.) yelled, 'SHOOT THE (e.d.) THING!'
(E-E-E-E-E. D-eeeeeee.!!!!!!!!)

Beautiful poetry, right? I should change my major's focus from fiction to poetry just so I can write "sonnets" like that. (Although you know, it really is something that's come out of my mouth with regard to the Leafs several times.)

So now I'm left procrastinating on an essay I really need to work on by means of the last BoA of the season. I started really torn - we all know I want the Oilers to win, or would, normally...but as a Wings fan I just can't pass up the opportunity to screw over the Avalanche. That, and despite that we probably won't be able to be friends for a little bit, I'd much rather see Hockeygirl's Flames take us on in the first round. So much that, inspired by her, I have made a pie chart of where my loyalties were supposed to lie for the two and a half hours of that game:

But then! Colorado failed to pull anything off against Nashville and suddenly I could cheer the Oil again! So the amount of my pie chart that was dedicated to Hemsky went back to looking like this:

Ah well, we can still be friends, right HG? I mean you really can't blame me, Hemsky and Smid both? And after the last couple months I'm just happy to see a win at all, and in regulation even! And Roli interview afterward was squee-worthy, too. (PS the pie is delicious! Maybe not the best choice of dinners, but...)

Finally, hat tip to Skye for letting me know that the Blue Jackets announcers let "Bryzgalov has been Bryzilliant!" complete with improper pronunciation of both words happen.

Oh, and Buffalo takes the President's, not that we're surprised. CapsChick, I love you anyway!

For the record, the phrase "puck moving defenseman" coming from anywhere near Edmonton still makes me want to gag. And if I hear one more word about the Oilers missing that draft pick lottery I'll throw up. ALSO finally, does anyone who ISN'T Stortini fight on this team anymore?

Wings lose, Leafs win and..... Ty Conklin!

I'm still cable-less so once again I can't offer anything about the Wings game tonight, as I didn't see it (working on that, I swear - a friend told me today that if I snuck into his dorm before they lock the doors 10 pm I could probably scored the lounge tv and free wireless and if my class hadn't gotten out at something like twenty after I would have been desperate enough to try). What I do know is that Christy already has a game recap up at Behind the Jersey and Hockeygirl (who is ONLY my friend again because she cheered on Belak for me tonight, another thing I didn't get to see myself) is probably gloating over at Double D(ion) if you're interested in (I know, I know, but we're trying to be well-rounded, right!?) a Flames perspective. I also happen to know that it was a 2-1 loss and Valtteri Filppula couldn't come up quite as well on his birthday as my other rookie Huds did on his - but he did notch at least an assist.

On to more important things, which is to say, Ty Conklin's Buffalo Sabres goalie mask officially exists!

For other views, look no further than WGR550, bringing us all sort of Sabres excellence. You can now all pretend I never uttered that phrase.

Conks insists that he's "not a mask guy", but in looking back, the guy's had quite a few different ones with his various teams - and they get progessively more and more full of glitter, too, I swear. And since I'm still not on page one of the google search results of his name, I present you with a journey through Ty Conklin's various masks. Mostly to prove that they get progressively weirder and glittery-er and because MWORO's Drea encouraged me. Are there any other goalies with this much shiny other than maybe Roli and his gold plated cage?

For the record, I just didn't have the energy required to dig up pictures from his Green Bay or college days. So when he first started with the Oil/Hamilton he had the customary white mask which he then apparently traded in for one that was navy blue with Oily stickers.

The first year he was still playing for Hamilton more than Edmonton obviously, and so came along this bulldog-covered helmet with little oil drops on it. Thus also begins his habit of having "CONKS" on his masks - I was so worried when the new one didn't have it, but then I saw the back and realized it was there after all, just not in its normal position.

This was his first official Edmonton mask - I rather like it, though the top is a little boring, but the sides are nice. Except what is with goalie masks having terrible fonts on them? Roli's lucky his name works so well with the Oilers logo.

At first he just wore his Edmonton mask with a SKODA sticker plastered over the front of it, for Team USA, but that turned into this..which perplexes me a little. I don't think I have any clue what's going on on it, except that sort of angry penguin looking birdthing wearing a hat. Not sure about this one, Ty - and they only get more questionable from here out.

Finally, the mask Conks wore last season with the Oilers. Perhaps the extremely weird choice of a random skull was symbolic of the eventual result of his season; we'll never know. At any rate I was never quite able to understand what this had to do with, well, Oilers. The inclusion of the riggers on the side helped a little bit....but that greenish-blue skin tone just isn't healthy at all. Zombie riggers? Perplexing...

Finally, Conks gets signed by the Bluejackets in the off season and apparently with a new team comes a new love of shiny, not to mention colorful (this one looked real good with the Sabres uniforms, if you weren't lucky enough to catch it before he switched). It actually did look nice in person - at the very least you couldn't miss him on the ice. I'm pretty sure he literally chiseled out some of the red from the B and used it for the eyes of the Buffaslug on the new one.

And that ends this horribly entertaining (I know, I know) and informative waste of time. It was sort of interesting looking back at all those masks though - I'm tempted to do it with a goalie people actually care about! Suggestions?

(Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this.....go Canucks, tomorrow. Ooooh it burns.)

Hockey Night in America 2.0

This is going to be one of those utterly disjointed posts in which I say a lot of little very random unimportant things about hockey that I've come across in the last couple days because they build up when I think I've spammed enough lately until eventually there are about ten things I want to mention and they eat at me until I just sucked it up and do it. Also, I apparently have to have something to do with myself during the commercial breaks while I take advantage of Spring Break meaning being home where I have Hockey Night in Canada at my disposal. So, here we go!

• Yesterday at the game I ran into Christy from Behind the Jersey and didn't even realize it at first - but both of us saw the same row of empty front row seats on the glass and thought it was too much of a tragedy to leave them empty. More importantly, after we got kicked out of those seats, she trekked over to the other side of the arena, while my friend and I just moved back a couple rows - and she got a front row view of Nik Lidstrom with his 200th goal and even made the paper. Congrats Christy - we should have followed you!

• I nabbed this gem from On the Wings, but it might be my new favorite Mike Babcock quote ever (certainly one of the more simple, coherent things he's said). Speaking on Jason Williams' two goals against his former team:
• "It’s good to see him score, too. What the heck.”

• Finally I noted this little blurb thanks to Ansar Khan, but apparently last night my little rookie Jiri Hudler got confused because the Wings were wearing their away whites to accommodate Chicago wearing their black jerseys, and showed up for warmup with his red helmet on, which got a laugh out of the Wings and Blackhawks both, until Robert Lang finally informed him of his mistake. Considering I do almost nothing during the warmups by try to nab the best pictures I can of the kid, I decided I probably had photo-documented evidence of this, and upon going back through them I realized indeed I did:

There he is right out of the dressing room with the red helmet...I lost him for a second after that, and when I noticed him again (though I didn't catch this at the time) there he was with the white helmet. Maybe he predicted that I'd laugh at him when I realized this, because before disappearing off the ice he took a nice last slapshot right at my face.

• I watched the Toronto/Buffalo game and wasn't thrilled by the end result - but I was ridiculously glad to see Darcy Tucker back after so long. Raking Leafs has everything I could say on the Kaberle hit yesterday already covered, and also mention the one thing I do love about it - watch the video, grimace at the awful hit, and then notice Darcy, who didn't dress for the game, come out and bitch out Janssen. I'll always love him. Also to note, Sherry of Scarlett Ice has discovered the secret behind Campbell's disciplinary methods. If only it weren't so true.
  

• Don Cherry was dressed very tastefully tonight - and with a tie of Blue. It was really kind of precious in this bizarre way that I don't really want to think of Cherry in.
  

• The Oilers played Flames tonight in only the second Battle of Alberta I've actually been able to see this year. It was nice to get to see them in those retro jerseys. I'm worried about Hemsky after that hit in the first - it didn't look bad but he didn't return, and that's the last thing they really need right now. (Maybe, though, he just realized how unbecoming the retros are on him...kidding, kidding. Ales is always gorgeous.) More importantly, I think this game requires a nice big round of PISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANI! And a link to this. Man, if only he could get back whatever he had during the playoffs last year again...

• I hate Calgary a little. But I love those announcers for the phrase "activate your stick".
  

• Drea of MWORO pointed out to me this afternoon, in what is almost a neat little segue from talking about the Oilers, that if you google Ty Conklin, you pull me up on page three. So in a bemused attempt to bump myself up a bit, I bring you two things I managed to dig up today, the first being Green Bay Gamblers bobbleheads (no, seriously), and the second a story that ran in the Portsmouth Herald back in 1999 and I defy you to tell me there's nothing cute about it:

• "Ty has always been a little spacey," [his mother] says.

  "Lynn was driving Brian and Ty to a game. They were about 10 years old," Beth Conklin says during a telephone interview from the family's home in Anchorage. "Brian was always extremely focused. He would get into the zone before games. He was sitting in the back seat looking straight down and Lynn asked him what he was doing. He said, `I'm getting into the game.' Ty thought that sounded pretty good, so he said, `I'm getting into the game, too.' And he started looking down.

  "Well, about three minutes later, Ty's head pitched forward. He had fallen asleep."

And with that I think I've probably covered just about everything, or at least I've determined this to be far long enough already.

This Ain't a Game, it's a God! Damn! Massacre!

Any day now I'll stop making unclever titles out of bands I don't even particularly care for (Fall Out Boy today, in case you were curious). Anyway between all the homework I've been (not) doing and all the cleaning of my apartment, I didn't get to sit down and watch anything all that in depth tonight - but I've got a couple quick recaps for a few different games these past couple days.

Elly already elaborated on the Leafs vs. Pens last night, and of course the Pensblog always does a nice job with that too - I couldn't get the game at all and only heard the last few minutes on Leafs Radio. Sounds like it would have been a good one though - every time I refreshed the box scores there was a new goal. Even though I'm mad we didn't win, hey, we got a free point! And I'd be lying if I said I didn' t love seeing the little Staal pick up that hat trick (for more than just a ridiculous inside joke we have, really). I never disliked the Pens, but lately I've really gotten attached. There's just no denying how fun a team they are to watch.

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Tonight I did watch the Wings vs. Flames which is where the dumb title came from - at least to start. Kiprusoff letting in those three goals so early was unbelievable. I don't think I've ever seen that man get pulled before. It was just what the Wings wanted though, and they came on strong after getting shut out in St. Louis the other night and started off beautifully, which is something they've struggled to do lately. I don't know why this game was such a blowout though - other than Calgary's admittedly awful road record. The Wings looked like the were 300% more in this game than the Flames, who were making bad plays, bad turnovers (and tons of them), bad giveaways...

They did finally start to pull it back together at the end though with that little three goal rally - I admit, for a minute I started to think maybe this game was going to be some big cosmic joke on Joey MacDonald and what looked like a sure victory (finally!) would end up being a ridiculous come from behind Flames win. Luckily I was wrong, because I might have had to go bitch out the hockey gods for being that mean to someone who's been playing so well and deserved it so much lately. For better recaps, I'm willing to bet On the Wings will hook you up sooner or later.

Stats to note:

Henrik Zetterberg: 4 points - will he ever make it to five? I am optimistic!
Kristian Huselius: Ruins is 15 game points streak, does not contribute to my fantasy team. Damn you!
Joey MacDonald: Finally a win!
Nashville: Has reason to worry again.
Dom's age: Mentioned twice, even though isn't even playing.

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Then, after an hour or so of struggling, I managed to catch the last period of the Oilers vs. Thrashers, which turned out to be just the game I wanted to see the Oilers play. It's been tough, these past few weeks, being an Oil fan and watching them struggle, especially after learning to love them through last years playoffs where they seemed like they could do no wrong (unless you're talking about Ty Conklin), but this was the first game in a long time that they looked like the Oilers I knew. They were skating fast out there, and hard, and coming up big for it. I don't have much else to say because let's face it I saw one period of this game on a three by three inch screen that froze up every few minutes and looked more like little blue blurs than hockey players, but I have to say go Roloson! The guy was getting harassed here and there all game long - and it was just beautiful to watch him get up after being bowled over by some Thrasher and just leap on the guy.

More stats:

Joffrey Lupul: 1G 1A - Look at that, a contribution!
Petr Sykora: 3A - Keeps the point streak rolling.
Ales Hemsky: 2A and some beautiful attempts
Dwayne Roloson: Gets a mention just for trying to kill a man, and because I feel bad for how many times the refs tried to molest him.

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Last but not least, nothing official has been said about Manny Legace after he pulled himself from the game the other night and Sanford started in net when the Blues were taken down by the Flyers yesterday, so I am still officially worried, though it's probably nothing. But nhl.com has run an article on him that does a great job showing exactly why I love him so much. Some of it I'd never heard before either, like how he'd been so discouraged from trying to be an athlete when he was younger, but I was especially impressed by the way he talked about playing against Detroit - he never came out and said it, but you can tell how much those games mean to him from what he did say. I even love the way he comes across still a little vindictive - he wants to win those games against Detroit to prove that he isn't just a goalie who looked good because he started behind a good team, and it's a little unexpected out of him, and I love that.

Here's to hoping he's all right - I'm still looking for updates.

Probably not the best apology for being gone so long, but...

There are just too many things I could say to even try.

In other news, after a week of computer and internet issues (wherein mine of both simultaneously died), I am back once again, hopefully for a substantial amount of time this time. We'll see about that.

Once again I missed the Wings game thanks to a Western game, but I hear we finally took down Manny Legace. Good for us. I mean it, really, we're approaching the time in the season where my spiteful desire to see Manny trash us each and every one of the eight ridiculous times we play each other just so Ken Holland has to wallow in a little bit of shame over What He Did is being trumped by the realization that our President's Trophy is going to go to Buffalo, Anaheim, or Nashville, at this rate. And I'm just not okay with that.

It's Trade Rumor Time!

Speaking of Manny, jury is still out on the Blues end of things, but he is apparently being considered a potential deadline trade candidate. I'm not sure I see how this is smart for the Blues considering he's definitely playing the better game since Sanford's come back, but it's interesting nonetheless. I heard a (completely unbased and mostly ridiculous sounding) rumor about the him and the Senators earlier today, though, and threw up in my mouth a little. Even if I do like Vermette.

The Wings are apparently shopping Jiri Hudler (boo!) and Jason Williams (yay!)....for something. The words "Top 6 Forward" have been floating around, but I mostly think Ken Holland just wants to ship off all his promising rookies so we can continue to have the oldest team in the league and he can live under his little delusions that Hasek and Chelios will Live Forever. Other unsolved mysteries include just why we are so determined to keep Kronwall around.

Come on, could you seriously trade this face? (...no I do not mean Lang's, specal as it may be.)

The Bruins just gave away Is Puffy (by which I mean Milan Jurcina for the, well, everyone else in the world who isn't in on that specific dumb inside joke) and are looking to get rid of Stuart, who was rumored to be maybe headed the way of Edmonton, but Lowe said he wasn't about to shop someone like Torres or Lupul and a prospect (the name Jacques was dropped) for him. They're apparently also looking at Pitkanen and Rob Blake, but I haven't heard anything substantial. And you know, I don't really care who they pick up - as long as it's a D man who can play some hard minutes and save us from Smid's lack of experience and MAB's lack of....common sense and amazing abilities to make Ales Hemsky cry? (Okay, maybe I do care who they pick up).

Flames have grabbed up Conroy - on a line with Iginla again, that might spell bad news for the Northwest division. Let me reiterate my prayers about Edmonton and defense.

Oh and the Leafs have given a nice big "fuck you" to anyone who thought they had a chance at Sundin. Go Leafs Go!

In other trade news, by the deadline I'm fairly certain every team in the league will have entertained the idea of Peter Forsberg, if only to give me a headache from reading so much about it.

There's more (oh is there ever) but I can only slog through so much, so instead I will point you in the direction of Spector's Trade Rumours. Always good for killing time and occasionally just as good for perpetuating the desire to kill yourself.

Let's Get it On...

The eve of a Battle of Alberta and what am I doing? The answer is not something like, oh, actually previewing the game. Instead I come bearing what can only be considered useless information after having followed a link from Battle of Alberta that led me to Andrew Ference's iTunes playlist. iTunes Canada is a wonderful thing. Basically in following it back through eight pages of celebrity playlists, I have discovered the following:

• Edmonton's Shawn Horcoff is hilarious. I can't think of a single other hockey player who could have something like Big & Rich's Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy on their playlist, and who I could still look in the eye (ignoring the fact that I'd probably have to be standing on a couple milk crates before this would be possible) without bursting into laughter. I really don't know why that is, but I'm willing to bet it's that ridiculous goofy expression he's got in his roster photo. The one that also makes the rest of his playlist, full of Green Day, Blink 182, and Good Charlotte, a little easier to swallow.
  

• Ryan Miller of the Buffalo Sabres' was less exciting until I got to almost the very end where he includes Fall Out Boy's 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)--wait, Fall Out Boy?? The funniest thing about this, though, is that in his little blurb about the song, he jumps immediately to defending it by insisting he heard them before Cork Tree happened. Hil.ar.i.ty.

• Last but not least, my second least favorite Carolina Hurricane (edged out only by the monstrosity that is Rod Brind'Amour, who takes that category based on wins alone), Cam Ward. I think all I need to say here is that he quotes Nickleback as one of his favorite bands.

Don't believe me? Go look for yourself. You can check out Post-St. Louis Doug Weight, Philly's Robert Esche, and Anaheim's Dustin Penner, while you're at it.

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In slightly more Pertinent To The Actual Sport Of Hockey news, Oilers resign Staios for another 4 years. Now if only the Ryan Smyth problem would be solved this easily. Either way, the Oilers face the Flames again tonight at Rexall Place. I know I mentioned that I should maybe preview a game, but I don't have a good prediction about the game tonight--these two teams are one loss, one win both ways when it comes to each other, so tonight's victory will be huge. The Oilers are 8-2 at home and the Flames are 3-4-2 on the road--personally I'm rooting for the Oilers, so I'm going to pretend those stats say a lot more than they do. What I do know, though, is that the Oilers PK is 3rd in the league (90.3%), and Calgary's coming in at a weak 24th (80.4%)--maybe someone should tell the boys to take advantage of that?

San Jose plays tonight too, in a huge Battle of California game--I'm sure you can guess who I'd like to win that one. I might forgive Chris Pronger someday, but that doesn't mean I'm ever going to be a Ducks fan. Anaheim's got the hometown advantage though, and the better record overall, if just barely, so this game should be close. Jonathan Cheechoo still DTD might make a substantial difference for the Sharks.

As for the last game of the evening, Jaromir Jagr and his Rangers, who my one-time favorite Brendan Shanahan also now belongs to, take on the Canes tonight. At the start of the season this would have been an easy pick, what with Carolina coming off their cup victory with a string of terrible playing and lost games, but they've picked it up lately--enough to he point where they're top-contenders to storm (...oh pun definitly not intended) the playoffs again. I'm still predicting a Rangers victory for this one--they've definitely got the offense to get past Cam Ward, and Jagr's just coming off scoring his 600th career goal, which has to be a boost. Either way, I just have to stand by my man Jagr--it's not ever hockey player whose Sports Bar you've been to in Prague.

....I am so not doing this for every game from now on.

Hey all. This is my first attempt at posting in this blog, so we'll see how it goes. Blogger and I have not made friends as of yet.

A few things:

1. Sidney was pulled during the Flyers game due to a groin injury. I am sure that Therrien knows what he's doing, but I really hope that he is telling the fans the truth and that Sid is okay. We may only have him for another season, I want to see him as much as possible with a Penguin on his chest. (Hey, that's not a phrase you hear every day)

2. The Flyers are not flying so well. Now, as a long-time Pens fan, I am not crying myself to sleep over this, but it is a bit disconcerting to see the always brutal Philidelphia coming up lame this year. Since I am pretty much the only Penguins fan in the Green Mountains (I think there might be 4 others, thank you John LeClair for coming west), I am enjoying this to its fullest and rubbing it in the face of every single Flyers fan I find. Trust me, after Johnny's tour with them, there are a good amount to choose from. According to NHL.com, the Flyers are facing some hard decisions. Resign Forsberg? Try to trade and see what comes up? I don't envy the fans watching their team slide to the basement. I know how they feel.

3. Canes v Rangers tonight. I am not sure which one I want to lose more.

4. Calgary v Edmonton tonight. Battle of the goaltenders. With Kipper being better than sliced bread, and Roloson being...well...amazing, it will be interesting to see how the offense gets past these two. Since I have love for both teams (yes, I know, shhh), it is probably a good thing that I will not be able to watch the game tonight. I don't know who I would want to win and I do not have enough beer to help me with that decision.

5. Clash of the black and gold. Next Penguins game is Wednesday, against the local boys, the Bruins. I really hope NESN is showing it. Why can't I be rich and order Center Ice?

6. I haven't heard anything lately about he of the luscious tattoos, Ryan Malone. How is his arm coming along?


Now that I have wasted time figuring out this program a bit, I am going to do dishes and go visit my mother for Thanksgiving. I love going home, free food and I don't have to pay to do my laundry. Go Pens!