12 April 2007

Pens v Sens: Game 1, or 'Why The Ottawa Senators Make Puppies Cry'

You know that feeling when you were a kid and your parents promised you a new puppy? You tried to be cool about it, all the while talking incessantly about what you were going to name it, how happy you were just to have the chance to get a little bundle of fluffy love and joy to raise and turn into the best damn dog ever?

Well, the puppy arrived, and it has worms. Big ones, like giant kidney worms and a nasty bout of coccidia. What to do? You love the puppy, you've wanted one forever, and you know, you believe that this dog will still grown big and strong, able to run in fields of daises and green green grass all summer long...so you take the pup to the vet. The vet tells you that your pup has a bad case of parasites and might die if you don't do something immediately...but it's going to cost you.

What do you do? Do you give up hope? Do you dose the pup humanely, and let it go onto its little puppy rest, or do you whip out your credit card and cancel your trip to the Bahamas?

Well, the Pens are down with Senatoritis, and it looks bad. Symptoms include a dry, hacking cough, fever, delirium, foaming at the mouth, and gastritis (severe cases show inflammation of the colon from being bent over and boned). Do we put down these poor creatures, hoping for a better crop next year?

No. Lord Therrien and, yes, the fans, are sauntering up to the receptionist's desk and taking out their American Express for immediate infusions of Mariolox for that nasty case of bugs. The price will be high, and it may take a while for the infusions to clear it up, but with diligent care and careful monitoring, the Pens should recover and kick this case in the ass.

Let it begin.

Some thoughts about the game:
-Not doing a recap, it was too painful and I have only just gotten to watch the game after being at work all night. Hardest night of work in my life.
-If I hear another person say, 'The Pens look nervous' or 'This is Sidney's first playoff game! He's only 19! Isn't that amazing?' I am going to throw up. Here is a list of things that I don't want to hear again all playoff season, but will surely get thrown in my face ad nauseum:
*Sidney being 19, a 'youngster', or how this is his first playoff season. Trust me, I know, and while I really do adore hearing about how great he is and all, I'd like to hear about some of the other kids on the team too....then you can go back to Sidney.
*Lay off of Fleury. I understand the need for smack talk, I really do (The fans chanting 'Fleury' irritated me, but really, it's part of the playoffs, and I understand. The Pens' fans are going to jump all over the first Senator that messes up, after all), but I swear I'm going to scream if I have to hear how 'shaky' he looked, or 'nervous' one more time. Of course he was nervous, I was nervous, and all things considered, he did well all night long. The last two goals were bad, but really, that not-goal by Sidney was a punch in the gut for the Pens, and it effects the whole team. We'll see how they do on Sunday.
*We know they're young, and we know that they haven't been playoff tested. WE GET IT. SHUT UP.
-It was only by sheer force of will that I was able to finish watching the game, especially since it was spoiled for me beforehand. I'm glad I did, though, because the last minute of that game was a preview for the upcoming series. I especially liked the little smack that Talbot gave to Corvo at the end, and Comrie immediately coming over, gloves 'a flying.

3 Senators that are on my List:
-Alfredsson (nice mustache)
-Neil (Vermette flying into his arms after that goal like an excited schoolgirl was amusing)
*special mention goes to Heatley for being too good.

What will happen next time in Ottawa? One of two things: either the Pens will be so demoralized by their loss, the crowd, and intimidated by the big, mean Sens and flop like a wet crepe on the streets of Paris, or, as I suspect will happen, the boys will come out angry and looking for a better game. All those hits (holy crap, how many times did Malkin and Crosby get pasted against the boards?) will be remembered, and they'll show up much better than they did before. They know what to expect, they've seen the best that Ottawa can put out, and admittedly, it's pretty damn good...but I think the Pens can do it.

Next game on Saturday, bumped to a matinee by the damn Devils, at 3pm. (I know that it was NBC, Nova Scotian's are pissed about it, but it's much more fun to blame the New Jersey boys. Thanks to Steal Thunder.)

Go Pens.

Don't forget to look for Cocky nominations!


Steal Thunder said...

The Ottawa - Pittsburgh game on Saturday was not due to the Devils, but rather to NBC...

CBC wanted the game on HNIC, but Bettman wants Crosby in the national spotlight...

There was an excellent article about this posted on skate2stick a couple days ago...

Elly said...

Thank you for the tip, I had read an article about it, I just really wanted to blame the Devils. I know that the CBC was quite irritated with Bettman and NBC for stealing their traditional Canadian team game for the evening, even if it was in the so-called better interest of the NHL to showcase Sid and all that.

Thanks for keeping me on my toes. :)

Steal Thunder said...

You can still always blame the Devils for other things... like not letting Pittsburgh win the division, which wouldn't have created this problem in the first place... : )

Elly said...

Ah, good point! And trust me, I do indeed blame them for that, haha.

Steph said...

Okay I'm sorry 'ly....but every time you make puppy metaphors from now on I can't help but think of MAB and the basset hound.

'Drea said...

If you need help with that list I'll go with you to take down Neil >>

Ellie said...

i blame the devils and the reffing for all the troubles of wednesday night.

and i agree - sid does not equal the entire team. so enough just about him already. how bout the fact that malkin didn't show up at all on wednesday. or the fact that fluery didn't have much help in front of the net for a lot of those goals and he had some huge saves.

Elly said...

Steph: Nice one. I can't believe you remembered that.

'Drea: Certainly. He needs to be shut down.

Ellie: It's always good to blame the Devils.

Seriously. Poor Fleury, he was definitely left out to dry, and I've been wondering about Malkin for a bit, he's been awfully quiet, but he was definitely smushed down on Wednesday.