07 April 2007

Whip your Conk out!

"Cocklin" was first discovered and put to use (okay shh I am aware this is full of inaccuracy and exaggeration) by the drunk guys behind me at the Crunch game (where it ranked slightly more clever than Popperle/"Potpourri" and Pushor/"Pushover" and light years beyond Methot/"ME HOT"), but it appears that the magical world of Facebook is now horning in on their creativity with yet another play on words linking Ty Conklin to a particular bit of anatomy. Granted the Facebook group seems just a bit less hateful... I, of course, had to join, and then felt it was also my duty to spread around just how little it takes to amuse me. Especially seeing as how I couldn't come up with anything clever for his March 30th birthday.

Look, he shaved! Just as I was just coming to terms with the scruff and even admitting it wasn't bad looking, ask Elly!

That said, this is the post where I say I hate the Sabres. Or no, I don't even hate them, I just feel nothing toward them. I don't particularly dislike them, but I have no reason to cheer for them either. And they're within mere fractions of points of my Wings' President's Trophy. But okay. You got me. Fine. I love Ty Conklin. And if the damn Sabres take that trophy, like they're poised to do, I'll be content in having won in the West, in having at least smited the stupid Ducks and their stupid Chris Pronger, because I'll be thinking of happy little Ty Conklin getting another chance - maybe - and hopefully not fucking it up. (Although, CapsChick has assured me that she'll be cheering for her boys to pull of a win, so I totally don't need to be worrying, right?)

That said, I still haven't entirely forgiven you Conklin. Don't push my love.

Randomly, why is it that he continues cycling through all my friends' teams? From Skye's Magic Wands - er, Blue Jackets - to Drea's Sabres...what's next, one of 'ly's Pens come this summer? (I'm so lucky she's in Pittsburgh right now, she might literally implode at the thought).


And while we're on the topic of ex-Oilers, Lauren Pronger ruined our season, did you hear? I mean I've been saying that since the beginning (just ask Elly!) but hey, now I have whole newspapers rallying behind my spiteful little opinion! I think Covered in Oil sums the whole thing up the nicest, but I do feel the need to echo - why on earth is all of this showing up eight months afer the fact like some new brilliant discovery? And sure, we were all pissed too, but I wonder just what's going to come of that beautiful little divorce-advocating quote. Good plan, that one.


Happier news exists as well today, though - in the form of Pavel Datsyuk signing a shiny new 7 year contract with the Wings. Christy has a collection of reactions, both her own and those of most of the rest of the Wings blogosphere - all I can offer in return is approval of the move and confidence that those floundering playoff years aren't anything to be worried about.

‘’This contract was extremely important to me,'’ Datsyuk said. ‘’Especially since I have been a Red Wing since 2001."

Isn't it nice to have players who want to stay?


hockeygirl said...

Well, I just turned on the Sabres/Caps game and Buffalo is leading 1-0 already. WTF? I don't need this. I need a happy CapsChick at the end of the day because she saves me from the depths of despair and we both know that tonight is a big night for my side of the BoA.

Steph said...

And it's 2-0 now and not looking to get better. At least we can all cry into our slurpees together?

I don't know what to feel about your game tonight, by the way! Of course we know who I'd want to win, but...I certainly don't want to give the Avs that benefit either. I might be able to cheer for you...unless Hemsky does something good.

hockeygirl said...

Yes, let's cry. If I start on the spiked Slurpees now, I should be numb by game time, right? Let's see... *counts* Only 7.5 hours till puck drop. :)

As for tonight... How about you make a pie chart with pieces determing that you can cheer so much for Hemsky and so much for the Flames.

Speaking of that fucking pie, I still haven't had any!

Steph said...

7.5 hours? I think you could pull that off. I'm taking solace in my Wings decimating the Hawks right now....not that it really means anything in the long run since the Sabres are spiting me. Huh, maybe I need a slurpee after all. You'll share, right?

Hmm I like that idea! I haven't managed to get any yet either, but this sounds like a damn good excuse!

hockeygirl said...

Of course I'll share! Sheesh - what do you take me for? And then that way, later, when we can't see straight or talk without slurring, we'll forget all the nasty things we've said about each other's teams tonight.

And then, tomorrow morning, we can have pie for breakfast.

Steph said...

I just wanted to make sure - I mean I know we should be okay being friends at least until next week but you never know!

I did give in and buy a pie on my way home today...

hockeygirl said...

I think these next coming weeks will be the true test of our friendship - if we can make it through this, we can make it through anything.

Ooo! Finally! What kind did you get? I had a sour cherry almond tart yesterday but it was super gross so that doesn't count.

Steph said...

I know we can do it! I'd much rather see our friendship (and our mode of transportation!) pushed to the limit than - blech - Avs in the playoffs. We are stronger than this!

I wanted strawberry-rhubarb but alas, it was not to be, so I ended up with a raspberry/blackberry mix (I also considered peach, but it only came in half-pies, and that's just useless for making graphs!).

hockeygirl said...

We can do it! Oh man, the S383 is the little train who could! Ahahaha It's going to be working extra hard tonight.

Oooo, raspberry/blueberry sounds delicious. I've always been partial to berry pies over other fruity pies.

Steph said...

It really is! It'll have to be working doubletime tonight - but at least we'll have a few days to take it in for a tune-up afterward.

And me too! Except for peach, berry pies have always been better. It's almost cool enough to eat now!