Team: Detroit Red Wings (A tough decision.)
Uniform Number: 31
Nickname: Appy, Yates
Dream blueline partner: Chris Pronger. Yeah, I know.
Rounding out the Power Play: Ales Hemsky, Mats Sundin, and Stevie Y. Shhh one of them can learn to play winger.
Job: Getting the puck to Ales without mishandling it and making him cry. I'm looking at you MAB. And defending my goalie, which might be a nice way of saying "mauling".
Signature Move: Chatting with the pretty goalie instead of doing my job.
Strengths: Being loud enough (see: Jason Smith this afternoon) to be heard without a mic (thus not needing heavy equipment to slow me down like Marty), a whole plethora of really dirty cheers and the ability to come up with "clever" nicknames for refs with names like Hoberg (thank you WMU Broncos), and a propensity toward nice big hits.
Weaknesses: Checking the right opponent (no one ever said those weren't just because I couldn't stop).
Equipment: I'm a CCM hockey player! (Or I just like to hear Martin Brodeur's gorgeous voice and thus am in support of that commercial.)
Nemeses: Sean O'Donnell, Derek Boogard, anyone else who messes with Hemmer. Oh. Lauren Pronger.
Scandal Involvement: Being an Oil fan in Detroit after last season.
Who I’d Face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Nashville Predators and we'll smack them down. You are the number two team in the Central Division, dammit, know your place. (In my fantasy work I can play a Western team if I want. Shhh.)
What I’d do with the Stanley Cup After Our Victory: Revel in the fact that no one in my hometown thinks it "has something to do with Nascar." Hi, Carolina.
Would the Media Love Me or Hate Me: I think the word "useless" might come up every once in a while, as well as "does not contribute" and maybe the occasional "did she ever learn to skate?", but I'm going to bank on the fact that I'm Canadian. No one hates a Canadian hockey player, right?
Next up: Well Elly of course. I think most everyone else whose blogs I read has already.
Also no one should go without seeing George Bush praise the Canes like he doesn't realize the Washington Capitals exist. I wonder what Alex Ovechkin would think. (He also schools us on just how the playoffs work. Brilliant.)