This seems new

Just a quick note here, but the Penguins are one...count it...one full win from leading the Eastern Conference. They play the Sens today at 3pm, and if they win, they will take the lead, at least momentarily. When was the last time the Pens finished out the season with taking the East? Not in this decade.

Fleury should be coming back soon. Crosby's on the mend.

Excited?

You should be.



Pens and Sens, 3pm. GO PENS.


EDIT: ARGH.

The hockey devils (not New Jersey) have won

Nauseated. Dizzy. Angry. Frustrated. Confused. Disgusted.

Just a few words to describe the end of the Cup finals for 2006-2007. An anticlimactic and poorly-played last game to see the fans into the summer...unless, of course, you are a Ducks fan. I'll have more on this later (as I am sure that Steph will as well), but the consolation I take from this is that watching those west coast fowl raise the Cup over their heads...I can easily picture another team, another set of young players with tears in their eyes, hoisting that chunk of silver to a screaming crowd in western Pennsylvania.

Next year.

Cocky Awards; Stanley Cup games 3-4

Man, with so much cockiness flying around, it's hard to pick just one person from each game! Last year's finals saw some words exchanged, but this series is hard to match from the sheer egos sitting on the ice.

Game 3: What a game! Of course, I missed quite a bit due to a birthday party, but alls well that ends well (are you listening, Ottawa?). The winner for this game? Undoubtedly Chris Pronger, not for his blatant elbow to the head, but for the lack of penalty following it.

Game 4: Oh, where to start on this game. Could it be Ryan Getzlaf, for his sneering grin and cheesy game play, Chris Pronger, for being...Chris Pronger? Perhaps Corey Perry and Dustin Penner for throwing their weight around? McDonald for scoring those clutch goals? A one Mr. Heatley for finally being in the right place at the right time?

No. No ego on the ice could compare to the two that were above it. In his scheduled scarring of the American public, Don Cherry came on NBC (in a tasteful suit, imagine that) to sit beside Brett Hull in possibly the loudest, and most ego-ridden broadcast to hit the hockey airwaves since they announced that desert climates were about to receive the gift of men on skates. I think what put the icing on the cake was Cherry calling out Hull with a well-placed jab about his foot in the crease. Please check it out here. Classic.

Onto game 5 tomorrow! While I'd like to see the Sens win (courtesy of Vermette's hair), I won't argue that the Sens suddenly finding themselves in the place of certain other teams that they beat out to get to where they are, oh, like the Penguins, doesn't give me a bit of warm fuzzies. Seriously though, get with it, Ottawa. Where was all that divine inspired play that we saw in the first rounds? Don't fall prey to the evil forces afoot!

Go Vermette's hair!

Finally, Cable! (AKA Vermette's Hair vs. Prongers Gaptooth Game 3)

Vermette's hair appears to be trying to break free. Will it give the Senators the edge tonight?

Ahem. I HAVE CABLE.

I don't think I can properly convey just how great a reacquisition this has been, even if it came after a long, somewhat miserable week full of moving to a new apartment. But now we have cable and I've been basking in the world of Detroit Sports since Thursday - not that they've given me anything to be particularly excited about, after the Tigers continue their 0-6 losing streak against the Indians so far this year, and the Pistons depressing double OT loss to the Cavaliers Thursday night (Detroit Bad Boys covered it best). It's lucky for the Wings that Cleveland doesn't have a hockey team.

At any rate, my goal, especially since Sherry won't be around to do it tonight, and it's not fair to place the whole effort on the IPB girls, was to liveblog the game. And then I realized that the Tigers game starts at 7, Antoine Vermette's hair takes on Chris Pronger's stupid gaptooth at 8, and the Pistons at 8:30. So this might turn more into a liveblog of how fast I can swap channels. Anyway!

7:15 PM: My buddy Mik interrupts my searching for FSN (so I don't know my cable channels yet, shush, this is a new thing) by lamenting the finals once again with me. I tell him where my loyalties now fall and he replies:

Darok Echo: I love the way girls look at hockey honestly

Darok Echo: no male commentary matches up to "I'm cheering for that guys HAIR"

I inform him that finding reasons like this is how I am sleeping at night.

7:21 PM: The Tigers are down already. I decide I really shouldn't break out the booze yet, at least not until dinner, so I watch a few minutes of Scrubs, flipping back and forth to see if it's getting any worse. Hey, Elly uses it to ease hockey pain. It should work for baseball too.

7:28 PM: FSN shows LeBron James walking around. I hiss on reflex.

7:45 PM: While I throw some dinner together (chicken in some sort of "Montreal" seasoning - think it'll help Canada out?), the Tigers manage to score a run and tie it up. I refuse to be optimistic yet.

7:54 PM: Maggggliooooooooo! Just in time to switch the channel - or try to; I have no idea what number NBC yet either.

8:04 PM: Is that Pronger with some scruff going on? I didn't think Lauren would let him. Regardless it still took a lot of restraint not to break my newly acquired cable box by throwing my remote at it to make Prongs go away.

8:07 PM: They're interviewing Chris who's about a foot taller than the interviewer, which is making the poor guy look really silly. His hair has really irritating cowlick and it mesmerizes me so I don't actually hear anything he says. Mik tells me all I missed was ""looooook at mah fat head, looooook at it." I don't doubt. Now we get a cut to the goalies - or rather, Giguere and half of one of Ilya's pads - in the lockerroom. I curse at Giggy and wonder how long before I have to start hating his stupid straw. We have Capri Suns in my fridge and I think about throwing them at the TV next time.

8:10 PM: Ilya sighting! I decide to hate NBC a little less for that, even though it was followed with about a million shots of the Wings getting scored on.

8:14 PM: That Dodge Avenger commercial where the guy plays Smoke on the Water comes on, and the guys I'm watching the game with get into a big debate over whether it would be possible. No, seriously, they're still going into the anthems. I think it concerns them more than the hockey does.

8:20 PM: Chapel announces first that he would like the anthem singer to get stabbed, and that he wantes to see Dallas in the finals just to hear them yell the STARS bit of the anthem. He then wins my undying love for the following statement:

xdreadnaught: Ray Emery, the only man to have Don Cherry envy his wardrobe.

Mik points out that there's a Leafs jersey in the crowd. I whine that if there's going to be a fight, someone should take out Pronger. I'd agree to like the Sens for at least a game then.

8:27 PM: Redden takes a penalty and we're told that Gillette has brought us this pp. We are all amused at a company known for making razors sponsoring something to do with the Cup Finals. Everyone starts booing Pronger and it makes me like Ottawa a little more.

8:29 PM: Okay seriously, must they murder Beauchemin's name so hard? BOWshuhmon? The guys I'm will start joking that they're pronouncing it like "Pokemon" which evolves (no pun intended) into "MY BEAUCHEMINS LET ME SHOW YOU THEM!" I begin to wonder why I'm friends with these people.

8:30 PM: Selanne plays the puck behind the net out to MacDonald who throws it in while Emery's stick is caught in Volchenkov's equipment somehow. Ducks PP goal and the evening starts out upsettingly already. Chapel's contribution: "FLYING V BITCHES!" I wish he were not many miles away and retribution could be had.

8:37 PM: STRAW SIGHTING #1! As expected I cuss out Giguere and totally miss what happens for the next few minutes. I also come to realize that I really don't know Ottawa's lineup outside of the top line and damn Emery. I actually have to go open up the Sens website in an attempt to spell names properly.

8:40 PM: Chapel trying to convince me my loyalties should lie with Ottawa.

YourPianoDrowns: I just can't get behind Pronger.

xdreadnaught: that's what he said?

YourPianoDrowns: touche

8:44 PM: Matching minors for Fisher and Moen. All I saw was a bunch of pushing and shoving like little girls. I'm starting to realize liveblogging games you hate the idea of watching is less a good idea than one might have thought. Emery is really lucky there were no Ducks in front of the net just now.

8:45 PM: Vermette has the puck! I start a rousing cheer for his hair. No one joins in. They're too busy laughing at NBC's announcers discussing what happens when you're playing "man on man" (I do believe they meant "four on four".)

8:51 PM: Ottawa goal! Unfortunately neither Vermette nor his hair had anything to do with it - but I always like seeing Giggy screw up. Of course it's followed up by a shot of that RIDICULOUS STRAW again. This is almost directly followed up by a Baby Nieder shot on goal at which I tell the room that should he score on this, it will mean I am done watching this game. He does not. Big surprise - he only scores on terrible bounces that glance of his skate, right?

8:54 PM: On the commercial I flip to the Tigers game which is now tied 4-4. However, I'm treated with Ordonez praise and Pudge Rodriguez knocking him home with his second double of the night. The more I watch the hockey game the more interested I am in baseball. Flipping back, Dustin Penner decides he'd rather take out a defenseman than shoot the puck.

8:57 PM: The Name That Squirt is, inexplicably, Mario Lemieux? What? I find myself hoping that Elly saw this from the party she's at.

8:58 PM: Ottawa storms the net with twenty or so seconds left and Giguere is inexplicably missing, for a second. They manage to not score regardless, and the period winds down. We're promised an interview with Crosby during the intermission - I think I'll watch basketball.

9:05 PM: Crosby's replaced Hull (who is apparently on the CBC broadcast according to my Canadian friends) and I find myself wishing they'd let him stay there if meant Hull being gone. Unfortunately I'm missing out on Cherry saying things like "Volchokeoff". I miss CBC. Why don't us poor Americans get to see Hull and Cherry argue?

9:17 PM: For some reason there is a giant delay on the Pistons/Cavs second quarter...because the clock isn't working. The announcers treat us to the information that "It's showing the score as 0-0. This might be okay in the Anaheim/Ottawa Stanley Cup Finals game...but not here." Um...thanks for that?

Period 2!

9:18 PM: The announcers let us know "Vermette goes hunting for Beauchemin." One friend kindly suggests "My Beauchemins, let me show you them?" Seconds later Antoine and his glorious hair have a nice opportunity, but fail to make anything of it.

9:21 PM: We're treated to Kelly and the most boring Sounds of the Game ever. I mean I know we can't all be Marty Reasoner, but...

9:23 PM: The NBC announcers think they're clever saying "sweater" instead of "jersey", or something. Either way, Spezza's just got ripped up in a scrum - now, now, boys, save that for after the game. And what, now they can't find another jersey for him? As he's sitting around wearing one of Eaves', my roommate says they should just go up in the stands and get one there - NBC echoes this sentiment a second later.

9:28 PM: Anyone says hand pass and I still look around for McGeough.

9:29 PM: Perry knocks in another Ducks goal. I think I need a beer - and the fact that I think I need a beer over the Sens losing makes me think I need several MORE beers. Ugh. The announcers tell me that a forward in front of the net is thinking: "TAKE IT TO THE NET." Why thanks. They show Giguere and his fucking straw and I yelp "STRAWY!" I have no idea where that Y came from, but I'll roll with it.

9:31 PM: Volchenkov, who for some reason I do not hate as much as some Sens, evens it up right off of a faceoff and subtracts a few beers from my quota. Which then probably just adds a few more. Sigh. This is rough. I flip back to baseball just to see how it's going, and the Tigers lead 8-4. I feel a little bit better.

9:36 PM: Just as I'm commenting about how Getzlaf looks like a douche and how much I inexplicably dislike him, he pots one in behind Emery to bring the Ducks up 3-2. I start whining about how much I miss last year's finals and really having a team to cheer for. Everyone tells me to shut up and calls me a traitor for being an Edmonton fan. I turn my whining to Jordi, who lets me know of course I'm bored by finals without Hemsky. So much more understanding.

9:42 PM: "J.S. Giguere has Chris Pronger right in front of him - a comforting thought." I shouldn't laugh, I shouldn't laugh, I shouldn't laugh...nope, we're laughing. Apparently Giguere can get behind Pronger just fine. Wow, sometimes we really are twelve.

9:46 PM: Giguere made a (gack am I saying something nice?) nice glove stop. The announcers say something about Corvo. Hey, he went to my college.

9:50 PM: Why oh why does NBC feel the need for the fast forwards and the circus music? Also, I admittedly stopped paying attention for a good few minutes and now Ottawa's on the pp - and they score! I feel conflicted, as Antoine again has nothing to do with this - but before I can decide if I'm happy or not, the play's under review. I've learned after that crazy call in game six last year not to trust NBC to wait before calling goals, but I'm told CBC calls it in and I believe them. 3-3.

10:01 PM: PUT IN ILYA COME ON DO IT. By which I mean Giguere was out to lunch leaving Ottawa right there to...give the puck to Pronger to score for them? Immediately Chapel, Mik, most of my living room, and Bethany ask if I'm happy now. I reply yes, take back everything I said about disliking this game and in fact have begun to feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Someone in the room said "he's no Lidstrom," referring back to that amazing stop during the Sharks season - damn right.

YourPianoDrowns: man I wish they'd talk to Pronger now

xdreadnaught: "how do you feel about giving ottawa the lead?"

Darok Echo: "chris will your wife snap the leash and move you again in a week?"

Unfortunately the period ends and we do not get anything so awesome.

10:11 PM: Checking the baseball game, I see we're up 9-5. And we're being told that with a "five" (can they count?) run lead you can take some chances. Did they see yesterday's game, Mr. Friendly Announcer?

Period 3!

10:24 PM: Nice chance for Ottawa, but Giguere makes the stop. I'm too distracted by the shot of his goal where you can see his stupid waterbottle and his stupid straw(y) to care about anything else.

10:28 PM: Pronger you douchebag - there he goes looking for yet another suspension, elbowing McAmmond in the head. Unfortunately this means we're treated to some really hideous closeups of Prongs spraying water all over himself and looking smug. As if the Hockey Gods feel bad for me having to watch this series, Getzlaf picks a fight and gets his ass handed to him. We get some more awful closeups of his creepy grin and I'm distracted by half of the Ducks bench cowering and hiding behind their gloves. Um. What?

10:36 PM: Emery wanders around behind the net and my roommate starts going on about how he's in the "pentagram". I inform him that he means "trapezoid", and furtively wish I could make this into something more clever. Seconds later Emery makes a great stick save - I feel a little sick having to praise him, but it was brilliant to watch.

10:42 PM: Thanks in part to my dear Vermette's hair, Volchenkov buries another one!

10:48 PM: After wandering over to IPB to check out their liveblog, I realize that I finally have cable...and there is no Baby Crunchy out there. I am never going to get to use this nickname! Menawhile Getzlaf takes another stupid penalty.

10:50 PM: And the Tigers win it 9-5! We're treated to a cute little Magglio/Granderson bounce-hipcheck looking thing and I am happier about my life. Even as I go back to hockey where I have to admit that this is a good game - a really good game. Except that I keep wallowing in that I don't care who wins, which sort of ruins it.

11:01 PM: Some stuff happened. The announcers are talking about how soon Giguere will be pulled - the prediction is shortly after the pp is over. Unfortunately for them, the Senators are pretty intent on keeping the puck in the Ducks' zone and preventing this. He finally gets out with around 1:31 left. The camera has decided that a giant waving Sens flag is more important than being able to see anything on the left half of the screen.

11:05 PM: NBC gives us a shot of the "Action Line". I squee over the hair of my illicit Sens mistress Vermette (there has to be a better term for this) who's got one assist tonight. Meanwhile, the Sens take the game and I am unsure if I'm happy or not. And so I flip to the basketball game where the Pistons are down by 9 with 10:04 left in a do or die game that could end their season. Bah.

11:39 PM: .....wow Pistons. Way to suck. Guess my days of watching basketball are over - I certainly don't care enough to pay attention to these finals.

There is still hope!

Having returned from Toronto, I see I've missed very little - except for that little bit about Nashville being sold, the only other "news" seems to be Hasek not sure if he's coming back or not yet, and that I still hate this years Cup Finals.

I did, however, get to take in some AHL hockey with Elly, HG, and Sherry of HLOG fame, as well as Drea, over the weekend. After arriving in Toronto, we backtracked (for me at least) our way to Hamilton to take in what could have been a Bulldogs sweep of the Chicago Wolves. They ended up losing 1-0 (continuing my record of never going to an AHL game and seeing my preferred team win), but we had a great time anyway. I took some pictures that I'll put up eventually, but in the meantime, Sherry's are even better.

One of Sherry's group shots of us was featured at Japers' Rink, but we decided this silly one might best represent us - so I of course had to share. (L to R: Sherry, HG, me, and Elly.)

I've decided, thanks in part to the influences of those around me, in part to Carey Price and even more to Zack Stortini (I really wanted to make him a sign suggesting he punch someone - but he did at least get into a little pile at the net. I also wouldn't have minded seeing him score, which he did not - but he did in yesterday's winning game, which puts them officially in the finals), to throw my support behind them for the Calder this year.

This should make Sherry happy, as her weekend mission to convince me to really cheer for the Sens in the upcoming playoffs didn't meet with a whole lot of success. She did, however, manage to unwittingly settle just what it is Elly and I will be cheering for in the upcoming weeks. Ladies and gentlemen, your NPI bloggers are proud to announce that from this moment on, we will be affiliating ourselves with...

Antoine Vermette's hair.

But don't expect anything nice about Emery out of me.

I can't do it. I said I would, for the sake of my Western Conference pride and a certain goalie but I can't.

I look at Chris Pronger and I see him raising the Cup and grinning with that stupid gap tooth and I see him stealing his pants back from Lauren for one last night of joyriding in Edmonton and I see him dancing with the Cup on Smytty's doorstep chanting "Personal reasons, personal reasons," like a broken stupid record and I know perfectly well my imagination is overactive and it's more than likely he'll sit in his bedroom while Lauren lectures him on how he didn't make enough teams despise the very core of him this year and how pretty soon she's going to take more than just the pants if he doesn't start producing, and the Cup's in the closet because she won't let him touch it because he doesn't deserve it so long as there's so much as ONE fan like me who couldn't realize the hate until it was too late, but I see it, in my brain, on repeat, a little grainy like some old horror film. And I see the little worn out D kids in Edmonton sitting dejected in the locker room while the phrase "(we need a) puck moving defenseman" plays over and over on the PA and the giant shadow of Pronger complete with a happy little bright spot (and folks, Toby Petersen is standing right there) where the gap should happen looms over them all and Christy Chorley reports for us all that he's going to the finals yet again.

So I can't do it. Ilya, I can't do it. I'm sorry.

Go (puke) Sens.

I was going to say all that. Except then Chapel let me know that if Anaheim takes this I win his pool and for the second year in a row squeeze free things out of him - I'm not sure I can express in writing how happy this would make me, given the circumstances surrounding last year's success. Now I'm torn again. Fuck.

(Meanwhile, Christy wrote everything else I wanted to say about the game right here including but not limited to what happens when you play like ass for fifty minutes of a game and how ten minute comebacks against the Ducks only work if you're the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Hockey Gods are looking down at you with pity in their eyes and thinking "Wow do they ever need a reason to keep living." It was too little too late, guys, but thanks for those few minutes of anticipating glory and at least ending the season flying high.)

Wow, what a week

I'll admit it: I didn't watch hardly any hockey this week.

Sure, I work two jobs, had a date, and got to see Spiderman 3 (good, but it could have been better. Did we really need a whole dance number?), but that isn't any excuse - there was playoff hockey to be had!

Obviously the hockey gods thought the same thing and have punished me as only the hockey gods can: Ottawa's going to the finals.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of the Senators for several reasons, but they don't have the eons of deep-rooted angst that some other teams bring, so I am willing to look at their play with a slightly more objective eye. I can admit they're good, they were during the regular season, but as I've said before, their play in the post season has been nothing short of inspired. I didn't expect Buffalo to fall, but they went down like every other team that played the Sens in the playoffs have: 4 to 1. Is this a pattern? Have the gods themselves descended from on high to bless the Senators with the Stanley Cup or are they planning to let them make it to the big game and then let them fall to the Ducks (or Wings)? Only time will tell, but I don't think I can deny it any longer: the Ottawa Senators are poised, and looking good, to win the Cup.

What happened to the Senators to spark this remarkable blossoming into a beautiful playoff flower? Great coaching? A superb captain? Solid lines? Rocking goaltending?

No, it was obviously a deal with the hockey devils (not New Jersey).

Word up, bitches.

Hey, if there can be hockey gods, why not hockey devils (not Jersey)? It's obviously the only explanation for Ottawa's breakout, the fact that they have killed off their opponents 4 to 1 every time, and their handsome forwards (I'd add a picture of Fisher in here, who also seems to be blessed with unnatural good looks (and pretty eyes, if you ask Cherry), but I can't find a good picture of him. Check out his Wiki page for some interesting trivia, though. Nsync stickers?). Good-looking forwards are obviously a sign of demonic powers at work (except in Pittsburgh), although it didn't work out so well for Vancouver (sacrifice more goats next time).

How did this happen? How did the poor, naive Senators fall prey to the evil wiles of the Puck of Doom? Is Bryan Murray really an agent of the Rubber Biscuit of Darkness? There were surely shady dealings in the back alleys of Scotiabank, right between the hot dog vendor and the Labatt's stand. The rest of the hockey world can only watch, hoping and praying that the Senators can pull through and redeem themselves, once more to be in favor with the Puck Almighty.

Layeth the holy smackdown in the finals, ye little Senators

Today will be game five for the Ducks and the Wings, and the world will soon know who is going to help lead the Senators on their quest to show their devotion to the Divine Puck. All we can do is watch and take solace in the fact that the team that kicked the crap out of the Penguins is going all the way, quite possibly to hoist that big hunk of silver in a week or so (this is known as Edmonton Logic).

Godspeed, little Senators.

----

In actual hockey news, the Ducks and Wings play today at 3pm and I am happy to say that I will be able to watch it. At this point, I want the Ducks to win just so I can make a little hockey puck devil with a duck head on it.

-NHL.com was nice enough to bless us with a trip down memory lane with the peanut butter story. What inspired the writers there to dig out a bit of Penguins' playoff trivia during this run?

-Buffalo fans can be obnoxious (as can we all), but to take one out? Ouch. The hockey devils made them do it (not New Jersey).

-Just a little snippet in the continuing saga of the Penguins ticket prices. The business people in the organization must be thrilled with tickets up 60%. Fans don't mind paying a little more to help support the team and the players, but I just hope they remember the regular people in their price hikes.


Cocky nominations to come later today!

So happy when it's not his fault.

Thanks to the inability of the train I spent 6 pm to 10 pm on to miraculously have cable, and even more miraculously have Versus (the S383 would totally kick its ass, just ask HG), I didn't actually catch any of the Ottawa/Buffalo game tonight. But what I've gathered to be the important thing is that Buffalo stayed alive to fight through at least a Game Five.

And also that Ty freaking Conklin is REALLY DAMN ADORABLE.

Uh. Right. In other news Chris Pronger won't be showing his ugly gap-toothed mug tomorrow evening, as the league handed him a one game suspension. I'm surprised, but happy with the decision. Apparently Pronger was less so. Who would've figured, Prongs bitching about something? I think he's still just mad about the pants. Should've listened, Chris, should've listened.

The show must go on

I sat down and watched the Devils and the Lightning play today and was pleasantly surprised with the pace and action of the game. It was a good game, lots of actions, plays, and super goal tending, although I found myself thinking constantly of the Penguins, what they could have done and how watching hockey isn't the same without them in the running. I kept catching myself thinking about the next Penguins game, only to realize that it is months away. Sigh. Anyhow, with the Devil's win that puts them up against the cursed Senators and the Sabres and Rangers in a battle of New York. Should be an interesting match up...and as much as it makes dog bark and howl in pain every time I think it, I might have to cheer for the Devils out of pure spite.

In other non-moping news, Jamie 'Noodles' McLennan has been suspended for his slash and whack on Detroit's Franzen. I didn't see the end of the game, only highlights, and Steph already covered it in her previous post, so I won't go into specifics. It does seem strange, however, to have this happen right in the middle of a series. I can understand trying to send a message to the other team in a blow out, you want to come back hard and fast, give the other team a little bit to think about, but nothing excuses dirty play, and slashes like that (as well as several other penalties and questionable acts) are never okay. That being said, Noodles has never been shown to have this type of behavior in him (please correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never heard about him doing anything like this before), and I know a lot of people are asking if this was purely coaching. McLennan is coming up to free agency soon, and to disobey a coach or go against the 'team's' wishes, can be a death sentence career-wise, and from Playfair's point of view, McLennan was the most expendable body on the bench. Does this make it okay? No, and he shouldn't have hit Franzen like that, but you have to wonder how much of it was provoked (he was on the ice less than a minute) and how much was expected. If this was all Playfair, then I'm not even sure what to say. Sending out a message to the opposing team is fine, as is rough play, some pushing, maybe even a fight, but diliberate dirty play from an otherwise clean player? Should we be talking about dirty coaching?

---

In Penguins news, Recchi and Roberts say that playing in Pittsburgh is defintely an option next year, and they both like it. Gonchar also told the Trib that Malkin was feeling a little pooped at the end of the year from the season and the playoffs, which I think we were all wondering about. Maybe next year he'll be better prepared for the long run and the postseason and we'll be able to see his true form come out. We believe in you, Geno!

Some interesting thoughts on what to upgrade and who to get. On the list: Chris Drury, Bill Guerin, Alexei Morozov (hello again?), and Kris Letang is rumored to be getting ready to make the jump up. Most of what the Pens are looking for are goal scorers and some offensive defensemen, which is really no surprise. Who's out? I'm guessing Scuderi, Melichar, Cairns, Nas might stay, and maybe Thorburn, although I think he has potential if he can get it together. There are a number of UFA's coming up, so the Pens might look quite a bit different next year. Lots of articles are out wrapping up the Penguins' season, saying what to expect next year, and what they need to get/move in order to accomplish this (go to the Post-Gazette page to read, there's a bunch and I didn't want to be a link whore), but I won't go into it too very much (yet). The summer should give us all a good idea about what Shero is willing to spend and how to plan for the next few seasons (let's not all forget that Crosby and Fleury are coming up at the same time for UFA's. Sid has said that he's thinking of starting negotiations, but nothing from Fleury yet).

The Dread Captain Murray says that Heatley has yet to get his motor running. Great, just run us into the ground and then tell everyone that you're not going at full steam.

In a completely unrelated random,and yes, rather girlish note, where were you hiding this, Tampa Bay? Even though it makes me slightly ill to say this of a former Duck, that man is gorgeous. And look, Parise is welcoming him to the east while Lecavalier laughs. Don't laugh, Vinny, he doesn't share Journey with Mighty Mouse.


EDIT: On looking around ESPN I found this mullety offering. Truth be told, I was a little disappointed with Melrose's offerings, although I will agree with the Parros one. Check out the mullet gallery linked on the top of the page and take a gander at #5, one of the best mullets ever! Classic. Also #2 is the best current mullet in the game.

Journey + Scrubs = hockey gold

No pre-game post, no words of dejection or loss, thoughts of giving up or saying 'ah well, better luck next year', or desperate false hope. The Pens have given us something that we haven't had in 6 years, and then gone on to fight tooth and nail with a great team for every inch they've gained in the most exciting eastern playoff matchup. They're our team, for better or worse, and they've shown us what real playoff hockey is all about.

The Pens either win or lose tonight, and all you can do is believe.

Pens v Sens: Game 4 or 'Boy, it's awfully cold up on this ledge'

Recap? No.

Snappy and witty nitpicking of the defense or the absolutely stunning showing by the Ottawa Senators who, for some reason that I can only attribute to having angered the gods, have shown up for the post season and shown up hard? No.

After the game I was too busy trying to figure out if I could drown in my cup of water to form a coherent response. I then went out on my porch and looked down, down, down....wondering....thinking.....how far it would be if I just jumped and let gravity take over.

Well, since it's about a foot off the ground and the snowbank is still up to the side of the porch, obviously it wasn't too far, but leave it to an impromptu conversation with a die-hard Leafs fan to talk me down. It went something like this:

Beth: Sorry about hockey :-(
Me: Me too. ARGH. Stupid Senators. I didn't really have a reason to dislike them.....well, I do now. Count me on the Leafer's Anti-Ottawa bandwagon.
Beth: Welcome to hell, mdear.
Me: They suck.
Me: And they make Pens' fans cry. They make little girls cry.
Me: THEY KICK PUPPIES
Me: Bitches.
Beth: nappy hos
Me: .......lol
Me: I love you, dude.
Beth: ya, just call me Imus

4/19/07
Do it.


Go Pens go.

Pens v Sens: Game 2, or 'OMGOMGYESSSSSS!'

Wow.

A few points:
-Not doing a recap. My internet/computer died on me and ate what I had and I am not going to retype it. Find some much better written recaps here, and here.
-What were the refs doing? I know that certain referees have had some, shall we say, questionable calls in the past, but seriously, my cat can do better. He's even black and white, already suited up and ready to roll!

Referee Tait says that high sticks should be called

-Malkin came out a bit more, which was nice, and had some key passes. Maybe he'll get a goal tonight and get back on the horse?
-NBC made a good point in saying that Roberts should be the one the Sens fans ought to boo. With Toronto he scored quite a few goals against them and proved he could slam one home again last night. Staal's goal was nice, too, and Sidney's...sick. People can tease and pick on Pens fans for being in love with The Kid, but really, when you watch him pull off stuff like that how can you argue?
-Fleury was amazing.
-Great tempo to the game, you couldn't ask for better playoff hockey than that. My mom, who really isn't into hockey too much, called me after each goal in the third saying, 'Did you see what he did? Did you see that? It's like a war!'
-Loved Roberts bitching out the ref at the end of the game. (the new) #10 is growing on me.

This picture makes me want to draw little hearts on it like a 13 year old girl.

As with all great matchups, there's been some very entertaining press coverage.

-"No matter where the Senators shot, the puck almost always hit Fleury. What a coincidence. That was particularly true during the second period, when the Senators treated the Penguins the way a stick treats a pinata." (link)

-""We have great fans," he said. "I know people in Ottawa were great for the Senators, but let me tell you something: What we expect [today] in Pittsburgh is going to be pretty unique."" Therrien knows the fans are going to rock. (link)

-""Yeah, well, things happen for a reason I guess. Obviously, I waived my no-trade clause to come here to Pittsburgh and I'm thrilled that I did that. I'm not complaining,"" Roberts on coming to Pittsburgh. Great article on why the Sens should hate him just as much as Crosby, perhaps more.

-" Why boo Sidney Crosby? Here's a better question -- why not?" Interesting article from SLAM! Sports on why the Ottawa fans should feel okay in booing the prodigy. Hey, after last night, boo all you want, he gave you a reason to.

-"A stronger Synergy or a penalty on Orpik and things might have ended differently." The Ottawa Sun blames the outcome of last night's game on Orpik and Alfredsson's broken stick. There are so many terrible jokes that could be made. Also, does anyone else wonder why the Sun has booty pictures on their website?

3 Senators that are on my List:
-Alfredsson (surprise surprise)
-Neil
-Kelly


The Igloo is going to reach sonic boom proportions tonight.
6pm Penguins v Senators game 3

Go Pens.

Quick pregame post! Sens v Pens: Game 2

-Fleury will start in net today. All you naysayers need to shut the hell up and leave the kid alone. The coach believes in him, the Pens believe in him, and finally, after all my lack of love for him last year, so do I and the fans should too. He didn't get discouraged when he was taken to task by Therrien midseason, he came back and fought, and he's going to keep doing it. No one's perfect, and he's certainly shown he's got the skills, but as long as he keeps bringing his best, or trying to, then he should get support. I'll get off my soapbox now.

-Not even sure what to make of this, but it's hilarious. A kiwi? (Snagged from Empty Netters)

-Nice pregame interviews by CBC and NBC, although Hull is reminding me why I want to strangle him. He did, gasp! , say one thing I agreed with: sort of classless of the Ottawa fans to boo Sidney when he touched the puck. Give it a few games and let Sidney do something really good before you boo him.

-No Laraque, Petro is up instead. What does this say, when there was such a physical end to the last game.


Go Pens.

Pens v Sens: Game 1, or 'Why The Ottawa Senators Make Puppies Cry'

You know that feeling when you were a kid and your parents promised you a new puppy? You tried to be cool about it, all the while talking incessantly about what you were going to name it, how happy you were just to have the chance to get a little bundle of fluffy love and joy to raise and turn into the best damn dog ever?

Well, the puppy arrived, and it has worms. Big ones, like giant kidney worms and a nasty bout of coccidia. What to do? You love the puppy, you've wanted one forever, and you know, you believe that this dog will still grown big and strong, able to run in fields of daises and green green grass all summer long...so you take the pup to the vet. The vet tells you that your pup has a bad case of parasites and might die if you don't do something immediately...but it's going to cost you.

What do you do? Do you give up hope? Do you dose the pup humanely, and let it go onto its little puppy rest, or do you whip out your credit card and cancel your trip to the Bahamas?

Well, the Pens are down with Senatoritis, and it looks bad. Symptoms include a dry, hacking cough, fever, delirium, foaming at the mouth, and gastritis (severe cases show inflammation of the colon from being bent over and boned). Do we put down these poor creatures, hoping for a better crop next year?

No. Lord Therrien and, yes, the fans, are sauntering up to the receptionist's desk and taking out their American Express for immediate infusions of Mariolox for that nasty case of bugs. The price will be high, and it may take a while for the infusions to clear it up, but with diligent care and careful monitoring, the Pens should recover and kick this case in the ass.

Let it begin.

Some thoughts about the game:
-Not doing a recap, it was too painful and I have only just gotten to watch the game after being at work all night. Hardest night of work in my life.
-If I hear another person say, 'The Pens look nervous' or 'This is Sidney's first playoff game! He's only 19! Isn't that amazing?' I am going to throw up. Here is a list of things that I don't want to hear again all playoff season, but will surely get thrown in my face ad nauseum:
*Sidney being 19, a 'youngster', or how this is his first playoff season. Trust me, I know, and while I really do adore hearing about how great he is and all, I'd like to hear about some of the other kids on the team too....then you can go back to Sidney.
*Lay off of Fleury. I understand the need for smack talk, I really do (The fans chanting 'Fleury' irritated me, but really, it's part of the playoffs, and I understand. The Pens' fans are going to jump all over the first Senator that messes up, after all), but I swear I'm going to scream if I have to hear how 'shaky' he looked, or 'nervous' one more time. Of course he was nervous, I was nervous, and all things considered, he did well all night long. The last two goals were bad, but really, that not-goal by Sidney was a punch in the gut for the Pens, and it effects the whole team. We'll see how they do on Sunday.
*We know they're young, and we know that they haven't been playoff tested. WE GET IT. SHUT UP.
-It was only by sheer force of will that I was able to finish watching the game, especially since it was spoiled for me beforehand. I'm glad I did, though, because the last minute of that game was a preview for the upcoming series. I especially liked the little smack that Talbot gave to Corvo at the end, and Comrie immediately coming over, gloves 'a flying.

3 Senators that are on my List:
-Alfredsson (nice mustache)
-Volchenkov
-Neil (Vermette flying into his arms after that goal like an excited schoolgirl was amusing)
*special mention goes to Heatley for being too good.

What will happen next time in Ottawa? One of two things: either the Pens will be so demoralized by their loss, the crowd, and intimidated by the big, mean Sens and flop like a wet crepe on the streets of Paris, or, as I suspect will happen, the boys will come out angry and looking for a better game. All those hits (holy crap, how many times did Malkin and Crosby get pasted against the boards?) will be remembered, and they'll show up much better than they did before. They know what to expect, they've seen the best that Ottawa can put out, and admittedly, it's pretty damn good...but I think the Pens can do it.


Next game on Saturday, bumped to a matinee by the damn Devils, at 3pm. (I know that it was NBC, Nova Scotian's are pissed about it, but it's much more fun to blame the New Jersey boys. Thanks to Steal Thunder.)

Go Pens.



Don't forget to look for Cocky nominations!

Holy crap the Pens are in the playoffs

Guess what time of year it is? That's right, playoff time! And this time, the Penguins are actually going to be a part of it instead of making plane reservations and deciding which resort in the Bahamas to go to with their legions of groupies and pet poodle named 'Phillipe' (I don't know if they have any poodles named 'Phillipe' for the record). This is going to be admittedly not as encompassing as I would like since tests and work are weighing me down, but there are many great sites that are following the playoffs as well, like The Pensblog, Empty Netters (and of course, the Post-Gazette page), the Confluence, and Igloo Dreams. Penguins Sports Insider is also good for some extra tidbits, like Kris Letang getting suspended. Tsk tsk, Letang, keep the stick on the ice. Maybe I should spend some time on the links someday and add those sites. On the flip side, the Sens are represented by the excellent Scarlett Ice (Sherry has a magnificient post about the match up, complete with pictures!), Hockey Will Tear Us Apart (both of HLOG fame), and Battle of Ontario.

So! How do the teams match up?

The Pens' released their starting three lines today, and there are some interesting changes.

1st Line: Roberts - Crosby - Armstrong
2nd Line: Malone - Malkin - Recchi
3rd Line: Staal - Talbot - Ouellet

Ruutu, Laraque and Christensen are the most obvious third line, but who knows with Therrien. I like seeing Talbot and Staal play together, and Army's been good lately, so with Crosby and Colby's willingness to drive to the net, get in there and snag passes from Sid, that might work against the Sens' defense. Or Emery will try to sit on Armstrong and tie him to the goalpost as a spoil of war. Who knows.

You can snag a peek at the Senators' lines in Sherry's blog. They've got some good blueline coverage, but the Pens also have some understated men back there in the form of Gonchar, Eaton, Orpik and of course, Whitney, who has had a surprisingly excellent season. Good job, Ryan!


Now for the most important part:

The goalies

Offense? Defense? Psha. The real story is about the men between the pipes, those loveable teddy-bears in shocking yellow pads...or in Emery's case, a grizzly bear in a jumpsuit. Let's meet these cuddly contestants!

First up: Ray Emery.

'Rayzor' (not to be confused with his Torontonian counterpart), is a native of Hamilton, ON, and has been with the Sens since 2001. At the ripe old age of 24, he is 33-16-6, GA 2.47 and SV% .918. He is 13th overall. What does this mean? That Rayzor cuts like a knife (just wait, I've got at least 4 games to think up tons of horrible puns). How has he done against the Pens this season? 0-1-2, GA 3.16, and SV% .863. Not quite as sharp.

Emery is a decent goalie, though, and when he's hot, he's red hot. With the first two games at home for the Sens, that will give them a big jump, and that is always important to a goalie who can ride a wave of support like Emery does. I can't say too much about his style since I haven't had a chance to watch him as much as others...but I'll get a chance this week. Exciting!

And now, drumroll please: Marc-Andre Fleury.

'Flower', while being as pretty as his manly nickname suggests, is also one hell of a goalie. After an admittedly not-so great season last year (no, I'm not posting stats. They make puppies cry), Fleur has really come into his own this season with a record of 40-16-9, GA 2.83, and a SV% .906. His stats don't really show his excellent ability to turn the tide of a game and make some essential stops. His style has settled down from last year, and things he struggled with, certain saves or flashier stops, have become easier for him (and less fancy). His glove is also improving, which is a welcome sign.

Against the Sens? 2-1-0, GA 2.83, and SV% .886. Again, as with Emery, he's hot and has had some impressive streaks this season (unbeaten in regulation for 14 starts), as well as setting a record for most stops in an opening game shutout (thanks Philly!). Do I think he's got the goods? You betcha. The problem? Injury, of course, and Fleury can get psyched out sometimes and thrown off his game, both of which might be an issue in a back to back up in Ottawa.

Overall, I'm going to call this a seven game series of fun and ulcers, ending with the Penguins on top for the second round. What can I say? I'd call a Penguins win even if they were playing the Ducks, but I do think they've got what it takes to beat the Senators.


4/11/07
7pm
Go Pens go, baby.

Back in black (and gold)

Aside from the mind-numbing exhaustion from getting in at 4am, not sleeping well, then getting up 4 hours later, I felt the need to post this:

Bring it, Ottawa

Series D - #4 Ottawa vs. #5 Pittsburgh
Date	Time (ET)	Location	Network
Wed., April 11	7:00 p.m.	at Ottawa	CBC, RDS, VERSUS
Sat., April 14	3:00 p.m.	at Ottawa	CBC, RDS, NBC
Sun., April 15	6:00 p.m.	at Pittsburgh	VERSUS, CBC, RDS
Tue., April 17	7:00 p.m.	at Pittsburgh	VERSUS, CBC, RDS
*Thu., April 19	7:00 p.m.	at Ottawa	CBC, RDS, VERSUS
*Sun., April 22	1:00 p.m.	at Pittsburgh	NBC, CBC, RDS
*Tue., April 24	7:00 p.m.	at Ottawa	VERSUS, CBC, RDS

Game was great, Sean Avery is a douche, and watching the players skate around and compete with each other for who could throw the shirt the farthest was great (Laraque has a killer arm). Updates later, studying for a surgical instrument practical now.

Can't wait for Wednesday. Go Pens!

Maybe this is why we don't have Hockey Night in America

Elly and I were really excited to both be getting the HNIC broadcast of two excellently Canadian games, especially since we both so rarely get Edmonton games. So much so that we decided it was worth of a joint point. If only we knew what was actually going to happen...

SENS VS LEAFS 3-2 OT LOSS

After the disgusting Leafs loss yesterday and hearing that Poni, Wellwood, Antropov, Tucker, Peca, and Colaicovo were out, it was determined by the creators of this blog that this was more like the Ottawa Senators vs. the Toronto Marlies with Special Guest Mats Sundin. The game did nothing to inspire us to consider it any more, and so no one really felt like talking about it. Which brings us to the game we thought would HAVE to be better....

OILERS VS CANUCKS 6-2 LOSS

This game was so disgusting that, in the third period when CBC's audio feed cut out, the conversation went as follows:

Steph: ....wtf audio?
Elly: See, even CBC doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

In a testament to just how bad it was, by the way, partway through the Oilers game I actually expressed something about missing Ty Conklin (though not through any fault of Jussi's). Therefore, all this game is getting from us is a halfassed list of the things we noticed. You'll read it and you'll like it--at least more than we did the game.

#1. Jussi Markkanen

Ever since the playoffs it's clear how we feel about Jussi, but here are some examples. (It should also be noted that Craig Simpson called him "Juicy" and was deemed our new hero.)

During the anthem (where in they show Jussi's for .5 seconds, looking upward):
Steph: JUSSI
Steph: JUSSI OMG
Elly: JUSSI
Steph: THAT WAS SO CUTE
Elly: SO HAPPY
Steph: ...all he did was STAND and look up and we're freaking out.

During the game (wherein we actually make astute observation):

Steph: Aww, Jussi. He moves so differently than Roli
Elly: Less angrily?
Steph: Possibly. I don't even know what it is though, but you can really tell them apart. Roli is all small and angry and dramatic and Jussi is smoother.
Steph: Like Roli attacks the puck and Jussi just sot of.....pushes it.
Elly: Jussi is really calm and smooth. He just stands there and watches...Roli moves around constantly
Steph: Jussi even looks smooth just shoving his stick out to knock pucks away
Steph: Roli always looks like he's trying to kill them

Jussi then proceeds to adventure a bit and make a couple amazing saves. We squee a bit more, discuss his merits a bit more, and then cry when they don't show him at all after the game. All in all, this game was pitiful, but the Juice did his best--and not perfectly, but not poorly, either. Too bad the Oilers didn't help him out any.

Like, say, when he banged his stick on the ice like a good little goalie to signal "HEY GUYS THEIR PENALTY IS OVER" like, you know, that move generally does. And Raffi Torres' response is to ignore him, try to pass the puck right up in there, lets the Canucks get a breakaway right out of the box, and score yet again. Thanks, guys.

#2 Marc-Andre Bergeron

Played like shit tonight. Cost us that first goal. Bad defenseman. No pancakes for you.

#3 The Announcers

Were hilarious. Our favorite quotes of the evening:

• On Smytty's custom stick to go with his custom "I broke myself" glove: "He's using a lighter stick; normally it's a...I dunno, it's a log or something."
• The polite way to say Roli is a spaz: "Markkanen's a calm goaltender and maybe that's what they need..."
• On...someone: "Oh boy are they throwing some haymakers."
  
• On Burrows after his little skirmish with Jacques: "If you took the 'ows' off his jersey he'd be 'burr', and that's what the guy is right now."
• On a shot Luongo nabbed (like most of them): "The puck flutters into the glove of Roberto Luongo."
• On the Hemsky line: "Hemsky & Co."
  

Honorable mentions go to Naslund for that comment about "guys squeezing their sticks", Stoli for swearing more than I have ever seen him do in one game, , Kevin Lowe for saying something like "We wanted to emulate the Flyers, who are a contender for the cup every year...but now we don't, obviously," (I didn't hear this, and Elly assures me the actual quote was much better, but her paraphrasing was still too excellent not to include) and the soundbooth guys for including "Love Shack" in the broadcast.

OTHER NHL NEWS

-Last place (foro the next few seconds at least) Phoenix somehow majorly wrecks San Jose all over the place tonight. 8-0? What got put in their breakfast?

-Boston's adorable backup goalie Hannu Toivonen finally gets to play as the (lately) weirdly successful Bruins take on Nashville. Unfortuately this game ends up 5-0. Not a good night for Finnish goalies at all.

-The New York Rangers have had enough of losing, and refuse to do so against the Washington Capitals. New best friends Jagr and Shanahan collectively dismantle Caps D man Brashear. Good to see Shanny's the same as ever and doesn't need us back in Detroit.


-Manny Legace and the St. Louis Blues shut out the Colorado Avalanche. Apparently they breakfast with the Phoenix Coyotes. It's my goalie's first shutout as a Blue (that sounds really awkward when singular), and brings him up to 4 wins in 5 games. Something's going right for Legace these days, finally, and look how happy he is.

-Penguins didn't play tonight, but when asked "When are you going to get your own place?" Sidney Crosby answered "'Well....I don't know. If you've ever seen that movie, 'Failure to Launch', that's me right now." It was cute enough to get mentioned.

Tomorrow night there's a Battle of Alberta, and let's just say someone, or rather a team of someones, has a lot of making tonight up to us to do.