I'm in BryzgaLove.

Okay so if you know me, or have ever met me even briefly, or have so much as just seen pictures of me, or have ever remotely broached the subject of fashion/clothing/etc. with me, you're well aware of the fact that I have probably never worn something that actually matched for a day of my life. Or at least since I've been dressing myself.

With that in mind, I think you can now all understand beyond the shadow of a doubt how I can hate the Ducks, but love Ilya Bryzgalov:

It was brought to my attention earlier that Bryzgalov brought the cup back to his native Russia (Togliatti, to be exact) on Monday, August 6th. It (and Bryz) were mobbed outside the airport by people chanting his name, took part in a parade (at 6 am), went on to Volga Sports Palace, where Bryz played hockey before coming over to the NHL, Avto-VAZ, the company where Bryz's father works, then on a three hour cruise, and then to an office where his best friend and sister work.

And Ilya did it all in that absolute debacle of a shirt. People probably had seizures. That guy in the background of the picture has got to be laughing at the shirt. There is just no doubt. I ask you, how do you not appreciate that? (And don't lie. A tiny little part of you wishes you owned it.)

In case you thought that was the best part, though, I have news for you - not even close. In fact, the part of this journey that I left out?

"At suppertime, a small group went to Long John Silver's, a pirate-themed restaurant. An entire show took place while the group was eating dinner – singers, dancers, fiddlers. A large cake was wheeled in and presentations were made while pictures were taken. Then, all of a sudden, pirates invaded the party, emerging seemingly out of thin air. They dragged Bryzgalov down the stairs with the Stanley Cup (gasp!) A cannon was fired and there was much commotion. Bryzgalov emerged a few moments later, dressed like a buccaneer and safely carrying the Stanley Cup."

Yes. I am serious. Really. Serious. Tragically, despite a good couple hours of working my google-fu over at google.ru, I could bring up no photographic evidence (though I did end up with this video, entirely in Russian, where Bryz talks about...something).

Worry not, though - if Sherry can have Martin Gerber dressed up as, well, this, the gods of the internet cannot possibly keep failing me with regard to Buccaneer Bryzgalov. Until then, you all just keep staring at that shirt.

And loving Ilya Bryzgalov.