The 2008 NHL Awards - A Liveblog...sort of!

A good friend in Toronto invited me to hit up this year's NHL Awards with him - alas, the ever-escalating gas prices but the kibosh on that plan, and here I am in my living room with some green tea ginger ale and a tiny TV - and of course taking notes. I do, though, want to shout out a thank you for the offer, and I hope it's a great time!

• The awards open with a whole lot of yapping most of which is not as funny as Ron McLean hopes it will be. Still, it's almost refreshing that year in and year out you never stop feeling embarrassed for him when listening to him talk. It's almost like listening to your dad make bad jokes at a family reunion - except at least you're not related. Anyway! I'm watching this alone in my living room because the bars we checked with didn't expect to be showing it - so of course I'm taking notes:

• There's a shot of Henrik Zetterberg and girlfriend Emma Andersson, who looks cute as usual in her little yellow dress - I don't know why, but I've really grown to like her. For a couple that isn't in the spotlight very often, they just seem rather sweet. The camera also pans to Marian Illitch while McLean tells us all stories about Little Caesar's. I love my owners, but sometimes you have to wonder if they get sick of being known as "The pizza guys."

• Martin St. Louis announces the Pearson award - he basically looks like he a robot, and I think if he lets himself get distracted by showing any sort of emotion, he'll forget the words to his very stilted, awkward speech. Alex Ovechkin, on the other hand, who takes the Pearson (yay!) has to unfold himself a little piece of paper full of notes, and then says he's nervous and apologizes. Ovie is always so adorable and personable that it's really hard to remotely dislike him.

• Dominik Hasek takes the stage to talk about the Jennings, which he and Chris Osgood won this season - apparently Ozzie's still busy being sexy in Hollywood. I understood every single thing Hasek said (which included mention of yesterday's Czech Republic/Portugal Euro 2008 match - he says the Czechs looked better in the second half.) and I feel his English has gotten about a billion times better since the last time I heard him talk. A mysterious phenomenon indeed.

• Craig Simpson makes a "The kids are all right" reference. Um. Please don't.

• Guy Carbonneau presents the Selke, and Pavel Datsyuk's highlights video starts with a glorious slow-motion shot of him spitting. Come on guys, really? He wins it anyway. I was, I won't lie, sort of hoping Zetterberg would take it (he apparently only came in third!), but Pavel definitely deserves it as well. Mike Babcock gives him a pat as he walks up, but Zetterberg is nowhere to be found - oh well, they'll probably share it anyway. He also stammers as he speaks, which is super super cute. Then he says I love you to his family! Cute again! Followed by, "I want to speech longer but my English so..." Everyone laughs - I wonder what he'll say now when he wins the Lady Byng?

• They honor the guy (I'm sorry I didn't catch his name fast enough) who basically saved Richard Zednik's life - that's really cool of them.
  

• People (Cassie Campbell and Adam Graves) never realizes that back and forth speeches sound seriously silly. Check out that alliteration! Meanwhile, the King Clancy goes to Vincent Lecavalier, who thanks people for....recognizing that he gives to charity? He makes up for it by speaking French, but that hair is a serious knockback.

• The Masterton, meanwhile, goes to, as predicted, Jason Blake. Not that I don't think he deserves it, but I really would have liked to see Fernando Pisani win. (Chris Chelios? He's just old. Come on! Everyone overcomes being old! Whether or not he's on my team!)

• Red Kelly! He's the last to win the Lady Byng three years in a row - does this mean good things for Pavel Datsyuk? (Also, Kelly makes this award sound far more like a "real award" with his speech, slightly stilted and slow as it may be.) Kellly massacres Datsyuk's last name, but he wins again! As predicted, he admits to not knowing what to say this time and rushes off the stage.

• In an act of ultimate irony, Charter Cable interrupts the NHL awards to thank me for using their service - their service that I have done nothing but damn since the Centre Ice fiasco earlier in the season. I hate you Charter, I hate you good - stop wrecking my hockey!

• Ovechkin's talking about the last Caps game of the year - which I was at! I agree, Ovie, it was fun. Here's Scotty Bowman to present the award, with Cammi Granato who looks somehow very awkward in that dress. As of right this moment, I am officially annoyed with the little kids presentations. The way he just said "Things are looking gooooo~oood in Motown" horrified me. Bruce Boudreau wins the Jack Adams - and while I wouldn't have minded Mike Babcock taking it, obviously, like I said I was at that last Caps game, and I definitely think Boudreau deserves it for this past season. He gives a very sweet, likable speech, too. Yay Bruce Boudreau!

• McLean wanted that Sean Avery joke to be way, way, way funnier than it was.

• Mike Bossy and Wendel Clark tell me all about being a rookie and winning the Calder trophy. All I cared about from that clip was Martin Havlat looking adorably Zetterbergish. I love Nicklas Backstrom, but I hate Chicago, so we'll leave it at that Pat Kane takes it. (Okay no, I can't leave it alone - his speech annoys me. Stop already!)
  

• NHL Lifetime Achievement award? Gary Bettman announces something he could never ever be the recipient of (you know, ignoring the fact that you probably have to play to pick it up) and then gives it to somehow I highly doubt, regardless of what he says, he knows anything about. But Gordie Howe! (One of the letter readers calls something "fierce" and all I can think of is that damn kid from Project Runway last season. Arghhhhh.)

• The crowd shot before Gordie's speech features Nick Lidstrom! He looks very nice as usual - really, 38, Nick? I don't believe it. Hasek gets a highlight during the speech too, and he and Nick both still look at Gordie with the sort of awe you'd expect from a fresh faced rookie, not long-time Red Wings. It's kind of (really) cool that he still inspires that.

• Jarome Iginla is adorable, talking to the little kids (who are less annoying in that brief moment). And wow, that little diabetes kid has some crazy memorization skills! Good job!
  

• The kid in the Canucks jersey says his favorite player is Henrik Zetterberg! I like him already! Someone in the audience absolutely yelps - part of me wants to believe it's Pavel, loving on his Eurotwin partner.

• NPI ex-Oiler favorite Jason Smith got a smiley two-second clip in the 'warrior' highlight package!

• You can't imagine the Norris going to anybody but Nick Lidstrom, right? Right. His wife gives him a little kiss (cute!) and soft-spoken Nick goes up to accept his billion and fourth (okay sixth) Norris. His barely-there Swedish accent is strong tonight - but he doesn't feel like an encore singing performance, apparently.

• ...really? Martin Brodeur? Again? Sure the guy's good but...really? Boring. Boring, Vezina award-givers.
  

• Alex Ovechkin wins the Hart, surprise surprise! Who wants a t-shirt? (But no, I'm glad he took it - and even more glad he's "nervous again". Adorable! And he loves you!)

And we're done! I'm still bitter that (at least in the States) we got no Stompin' Tom Conners (and plenty of the annoying kids) and also there should have been far more shots of Zetterberg - though they're now focusing on Pavel who somehow isn't paying attention to the camera despite it being literally right in his face - and that's cute too. Oh there's Henrik, chatting up Gordie Howe - is he getting something signed?

Anyway, congratulations to the all of the winners - while the quality of the NHL Awards show might be uh, questionable, it was fun.

"Another game against the Blue freaking Jackets." - John Keating (Hank 3, Jackets 1)

This evening I'm bored and sick of reading about African American Vernacular English - so here, have a liveblog as the Red Wings take on the Columbus Blue Jackets for about the billionth time this month:

7:00 pm Red Wings Live informs its faithful that Darren Helm will be playing again tonight - because Valtteri Filppula has a knee injury. This is the first I've heard of it, but I certainly hope it's nothing serious. They also tell us that Derek Meech will be playing LW this evening, instead of his usual position on defense. Hmm...odd. He's had a good year at defense so far, here's to seeing if it'll translate.

7:06 pm For those interested in his grooming patterns, Henrik Zetterberg seems to have shaved again. The other day they asked him what the deal was with that and he said he's just "a lazy guy."

7:10 pm They're now interviewing a 105 year old woman who saw the entirety of Gordie Howe's career. Not only is she adorable, but she knows her hockey.

7:25 pm I would like the references to Columbus as "C-bus" to stop.

1st Period

7:39 pm You know what is so sad about playing the Jackets now? The Joe sounds oh so empty without consistent booing of Sergei Fedorov. (It looks rather empty too...I know it's a Wednesday night game against the Jackets and not particularly exciting, but come on guys!)

7:47 pm This is really boring.

7:48 pm Chris Osgood makes a nice save after Brian Rafalski makes the smart play not to hook Rick Nash coming in on goal. Have I mentioned how much I love having my defensemen back?

7:50 pm Jared Boll just locked in on Tomas Kopecky, who avoided the hit, and wound up absolutely railroading Freddy Modin instead. That looked pretty painful.

7:54 pm Osgood makes a less nice save on a shot that I'm not convinced he ever saw....scary. Then he followed it up with a terrifying flurry of saves.

8:00 pm Boll took about three second shift before deciding that was enough. Kid really wrecked himself earlier.

8:02 pm The puck just deflected oddly after Osgood made a save, leaving an almost wide open net. Ozzie dove across the crease to stop the puck but not before Zetterberg snuck in and messed up the shot. I love it when Zetterberg makes those shiny defensive plays. I'm sure Osgood just loved it too.

8:04 pm Rostislav Klesla is SLOW.

8:07 pm Detroit takes a second straight offensive zone penalty as Kopecky goes off - can we please take a few more penalties? Please?

8:09 pm Dick Tarnstrom takes a huge slapshot and Osgood gloves it down - beautiful. We're told we have only 3 shots on goal right now and this upsets me.

2nd period

8:30 pm The period starts with the remainder of a powerplay that is completely useless, but the announcers then rave about Dwayne Roloson and that makes me happy.

8:41 pm A Blue Jacket (I missed who it was) absolute runs over Osgood. Brian Rafalski sort of trips over him and highsticks the guy in the process. Everyone's favorite Mick McGeough calls only the Detroit penalty - and somehow decides to put Nick Lidstrom in the box. Manny Malhotra scores to put the Jackets up 1-0 during the ensuing powerplay. Wow. Wow.

9:00 pm Not too much has been happening - an almost Wings goal and an almost hand pass that saved it, and then the Wings go back on the pp and give up a nice scoring chance to Columbus. Henrik Zetterberg has some nice chances, but nothing goes in.

9:05 pm I am certainly glad Chris Chelios saw fit to take a penalty with 2:14 left in the period when we are down by one. I am annoyed enough that I see fit to play with the appearance of my yahoo fantasy hockey avatar instead of watching the last bit of this period. Seriously.

3rd period

9:26 pm I think Zetterberg is getting frustrated at only scoring 3 goals in 17 games or something, he starts off the period with a couple really great moves and almost puts us on the board.

9:35 pm Henrik IS pissed, and now he scores to prove it - past two defensemen and the goalie ending an 8 game goalless streak and 108:45 minutes of shutout time for Fredrik Norrena.

9:47 pm Suddenly we seem to have some momentum. Funny what a goal will do for you (however, powerplay still failing).

9:51 pm Chris Chelios gets called for boarding despite vehemently protesting. At least McGeough picked the right offender this time. Still, absolutely terrible time to take a penalty, but Osgood makes a nice save on Rick Nash to keep the Columbus penalty woes going. After the third faceoff the puck skitters off to the side of the net and no one seems to notice it right away except Osgood - you can practically see the panic not only all over his face, mask or no, but just in the way he stares at it like he's debating diving on it

9:54 pm With 2:54 to go the Jackets take a penalty - not that this has helped us so far.

9:56 pm Pavel Datsyuk misses a pass that could have been a gorgeous goal. I make a noise the likes of which prompts my roommate to ask if I am indeed all right. This is replicated when, a second later, thanks to an absolutely gorgeous pass by Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg scores again! I am starting to think he should shave more often.

9:58 pm 35 seconds later, a turnover lands Zetterberg the puck yet again - Norrena comes out to stop him, but he misses, and Henrik pots it behind him for the hat trick, a natural, and the third of his career. I think my neighbors might wonder if I'm okay by now. Osgood picks up glasses someone threw on the ice and tucks them in the back of his jersey - Mickey Redmond remarks that he's got eyes in the back of his head. Har har.

Somehow that game starting absolutely boring, then got frustrating, and wound up spectacular.

Congratulations Henrik, and thanks for the spectacular show.

Finally, Cable! (AKA Vermette's Hair vs. Prongers Gaptooth Game 3)

Vermette's hair appears to be trying to break free. Will it give the Senators the edge tonight?

Ahem. I HAVE CABLE.

I don't think I can properly convey just how great a reacquisition this has been, even if it came after a long, somewhat miserable week full of moving to a new apartment. But now we have cable and I've been basking in the world of Detroit Sports since Thursday - not that they've given me anything to be particularly excited about, after the Tigers continue their 0-6 losing streak against the Indians so far this year, and the Pistons depressing double OT loss to the Cavaliers Thursday night (Detroit Bad Boys covered it best). It's lucky for the Wings that Cleveland doesn't have a hockey team.

At any rate, my goal, especially since Sherry won't be around to do it tonight, and it's not fair to place the whole effort on the IPB girls, was to liveblog the game. And then I realized that the Tigers game starts at 7, Antoine Vermette's hair takes on Chris Pronger's stupid gaptooth at 8, and the Pistons at 8:30. So this might turn more into a liveblog of how fast I can swap channels. Anyway!

7:15 PM: My buddy Mik interrupts my searching for FSN (so I don't know my cable channels yet, shush, this is a new thing) by lamenting the finals once again with me. I tell him where my loyalties now fall and he replies:

Darok Echo: I love the way girls look at hockey honestly

Darok Echo: no male commentary matches up to "I'm cheering for that guys HAIR"

I inform him that finding reasons like this is how I am sleeping at night.

7:21 PM: The Tigers are down already. I decide I really shouldn't break out the booze yet, at least not until dinner, so I watch a few minutes of Scrubs, flipping back and forth to see if it's getting any worse. Hey, Elly uses it to ease hockey pain. It should work for baseball too.

7:28 PM: FSN shows LeBron James walking around. I hiss on reflex.

7:45 PM: While I throw some dinner together (chicken in some sort of "Montreal" seasoning - think it'll help Canada out?), the Tigers manage to score a run and tie it up. I refuse to be optimistic yet.

7:54 PM: Maggggliooooooooo! Just in time to switch the channel - or try to; I have no idea what number NBC yet either.

8:04 PM: Is that Pronger with some scruff going on? I didn't think Lauren would let him. Regardless it still took a lot of restraint not to break my newly acquired cable box by throwing my remote at it to make Prongs go away.

8:07 PM: They're interviewing Chris who's about a foot taller than the interviewer, which is making the poor guy look really silly. His hair has really irritating cowlick and it mesmerizes me so I don't actually hear anything he says. Mik tells me all I missed was ""looooook at mah fat head, looooook at it." I don't doubt. Now we get a cut to the goalies - or rather, Giguere and half of one of Ilya's pads - in the lockerroom. I curse at Giggy and wonder how long before I have to start hating his stupid straw. We have Capri Suns in my fridge and I think about throwing them at the TV next time.

8:10 PM: Ilya sighting! I decide to hate NBC a little less for that, even though it was followed with about a million shots of the Wings getting scored on.

8:14 PM: That Dodge Avenger commercial where the guy plays Smoke on the Water comes on, and the guys I'm watching the game with get into a big debate over whether it would be possible. No, seriously, they're still going into the anthems. I think it concerns them more than the hockey does.

8:20 PM: Chapel announces first that he would like the anthem singer to get stabbed, and that he wantes to see Dallas in the finals just to hear them yell the STARS bit of the anthem. He then wins my undying love for the following statement:

xdreadnaught: Ray Emery, the only man to have Don Cherry envy his wardrobe.

Mik points out that there's a Leafs jersey in the crowd. I whine that if there's going to be a fight, someone should take out Pronger. I'd agree to like the Sens for at least a game then.

8:27 PM: Redden takes a penalty and we're told that Gillette has brought us this pp. We are all amused at a company known for making razors sponsoring something to do with the Cup Finals. Everyone starts booing Pronger and it makes me like Ottawa a little more.

8:29 PM: Okay seriously, must they murder Beauchemin's name so hard? BOWshuhmon? The guys I'm will start joking that they're pronouncing it like "Pokemon" which evolves (no pun intended) into "MY BEAUCHEMINS LET ME SHOW YOU THEM!" I begin to wonder why I'm friends with these people.

8:30 PM: Selanne plays the puck behind the net out to MacDonald who throws it in while Emery's stick is caught in Volchenkov's equipment somehow. Ducks PP goal and the evening starts out upsettingly already. Chapel's contribution: "FLYING V BITCHES!" I wish he were not many miles away and retribution could be had.

8:37 PM: STRAW SIGHTING #1! As expected I cuss out Giguere and totally miss what happens for the next few minutes. I also come to realize that I really don't know Ottawa's lineup outside of the top line and damn Emery. I actually have to go open up the Sens website in an attempt to spell names properly.

8:40 PM: Chapel trying to convince me my loyalties should lie with Ottawa.

YourPianoDrowns: I just can't get behind Pronger.

xdreadnaught: that's what he said?

YourPianoDrowns: touche

8:44 PM: Matching minors for Fisher and Moen. All I saw was a bunch of pushing and shoving like little girls. I'm starting to realize liveblogging games you hate the idea of watching is less a good idea than one might have thought. Emery is really lucky there were no Ducks in front of the net just now.

8:45 PM: Vermette has the puck! I start a rousing cheer for his hair. No one joins in. They're too busy laughing at NBC's announcers discussing what happens when you're playing "man on man" (I do believe they meant "four on four".)

8:51 PM: Ottawa goal! Unfortunately neither Vermette nor his hair had anything to do with it - but I always like seeing Giggy screw up. Of course it's followed up by a shot of that RIDICULOUS STRAW again. This is almost directly followed up by a Baby Nieder shot on goal at which I tell the room that should he score on this, it will mean I am done watching this game. He does not. Big surprise - he only scores on terrible bounces that glance of his skate, right?

8:54 PM: On the commercial I flip to the Tigers game which is now tied 4-4. However, I'm treated with Ordonez praise and Pudge Rodriguez knocking him home with his second double of the night. The more I watch the hockey game the more interested I am in baseball. Flipping back, Dustin Penner decides he'd rather take out a defenseman than shoot the puck.

8:57 PM: The Name That Squirt is, inexplicably, Mario Lemieux? What? I find myself hoping that Elly saw this from the party she's at.

8:58 PM: Ottawa storms the net with twenty or so seconds left and Giguere is inexplicably missing, for a second. They manage to not score regardless, and the period winds down. We're promised an interview with Crosby during the intermission - I think I'll watch basketball.

9:05 PM: Crosby's replaced Hull (who is apparently on the CBC broadcast according to my Canadian friends) and I find myself wishing they'd let him stay there if meant Hull being gone. Unfortunately I'm missing out on Cherry saying things like "Volchokeoff". I miss CBC. Why don't us poor Americans get to see Hull and Cherry argue?

9:17 PM: For some reason there is a giant delay on the Pistons/Cavs second quarter...because the clock isn't working. The announcers treat us to the information that "It's showing the score as 0-0. This might be okay in the Anaheim/Ottawa Stanley Cup Finals game...but not here." Um...thanks for that?

Period 2!

9:18 PM: The announcers let us know "Vermette goes hunting for Beauchemin." One friend kindly suggests "My Beauchemins, let me show you them?" Seconds later Antoine and his glorious hair have a nice opportunity, but fail to make anything of it.

9:21 PM: We're treated to Kelly and the most boring Sounds of the Game ever. I mean I know we can't all be Marty Reasoner, but...

9:23 PM: The NBC announcers think they're clever saying "sweater" instead of "jersey", or something. Either way, Spezza's just got ripped up in a scrum - now, now, boys, save that for after the game. And what, now they can't find another jersey for him? As he's sitting around wearing one of Eaves', my roommate says they should just go up in the stands and get one there - NBC echoes this sentiment a second later.

9:28 PM: Anyone says hand pass and I still look around for McGeough.

9:29 PM: Perry knocks in another Ducks goal. I think I need a beer - and the fact that I think I need a beer over the Sens losing makes me think I need several MORE beers. Ugh. The announcers tell me that a forward in front of the net is thinking: "TAKE IT TO THE NET." Why thanks. They show Giguere and his fucking straw and I yelp "STRAWY!" I have no idea where that Y came from, but I'll roll with it.

9:31 PM: Volchenkov, who for some reason I do not hate as much as some Sens, evens it up right off of a faceoff and subtracts a few beers from my quota. Which then probably just adds a few more. Sigh. This is rough. I flip back to baseball just to see how it's going, and the Tigers lead 8-4. I feel a little bit better.

9:36 PM: Just as I'm commenting about how Getzlaf looks like a douche and how much I inexplicably dislike him, he pots one in behind Emery to bring the Ducks up 3-2. I start whining about how much I miss last year's finals and really having a team to cheer for. Everyone tells me to shut up and calls me a traitor for being an Edmonton fan. I turn my whining to Jordi, who lets me know of course I'm bored by finals without Hemsky. So much more understanding.

9:42 PM: "J.S. Giguere has Chris Pronger right in front of him - a comforting thought." I shouldn't laugh, I shouldn't laugh, I shouldn't laugh...nope, we're laughing. Apparently Giguere can get behind Pronger just fine. Wow, sometimes we really are twelve.

9:46 PM: Giguere made a (gack am I saying something nice?) nice glove stop. The announcers say something about Corvo. Hey, he went to my college.

9:50 PM: Why oh why does NBC feel the need for the fast forwards and the circus music? Also, I admittedly stopped paying attention for a good few minutes and now Ottawa's on the pp - and they score! I feel conflicted, as Antoine again has nothing to do with this - but before I can decide if I'm happy or not, the play's under review. I've learned after that crazy call in game six last year not to trust NBC to wait before calling goals, but I'm told CBC calls it in and I believe them. 3-3.

10:01 PM: PUT IN ILYA COME ON DO IT. By which I mean Giguere was out to lunch leaving Ottawa right there to...give the puck to Pronger to score for them? Immediately Chapel, Mik, most of my living room, and Bethany ask if I'm happy now. I reply yes, take back everything I said about disliking this game and in fact have begun to feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Someone in the room said "he's no Lidstrom," referring back to that amazing stop during the Sharks season - damn right.

YourPianoDrowns: man I wish they'd talk to Pronger now

xdreadnaught: "how do you feel about giving ottawa the lead?"

Darok Echo: "chris will your wife snap the leash and move you again in a week?"

Unfortunately the period ends and we do not get anything so awesome.

10:11 PM: Checking the baseball game, I see we're up 9-5. And we're being told that with a "five" (can they count?) run lead you can take some chances. Did they see yesterday's game, Mr. Friendly Announcer?

Period 3!

10:24 PM: Nice chance for Ottawa, but Giguere makes the stop. I'm too distracted by the shot of his goal where you can see his stupid waterbottle and his stupid straw(y) to care about anything else.

10:28 PM: Pronger you douchebag - there he goes looking for yet another suspension, elbowing McAmmond in the head. Unfortunately this means we're treated to some really hideous closeups of Prongs spraying water all over himself and looking smug. As if the Hockey Gods feel bad for me having to watch this series, Getzlaf picks a fight and gets his ass handed to him. We get some more awful closeups of his creepy grin and I'm distracted by half of the Ducks bench cowering and hiding behind their gloves. Um. What?

10:36 PM: Emery wanders around behind the net and my roommate starts going on about how he's in the "pentagram". I inform him that he means "trapezoid", and furtively wish I could make this into something more clever. Seconds later Emery makes a great stick save - I feel a little sick having to praise him, but it was brilliant to watch.

10:42 PM: Thanks in part to my dear Vermette's hair, Volchenkov buries another one!

10:48 PM: After wandering over to IPB to check out their liveblog, I realize that I finally have cable...and there is no Baby Crunchy out there. I am never going to get to use this nickname! Menawhile Getzlaf takes another stupid penalty.

10:50 PM: And the Tigers win it 9-5! We're treated to a cute little Magglio/Granderson bounce-hipcheck looking thing and I am happier about my life. Even as I go back to hockey where I have to admit that this is a good game - a really good game. Except that I keep wallowing in that I don't care who wins, which sort of ruins it.

11:01 PM: Some stuff happened. The announcers are talking about how soon Giguere will be pulled - the prediction is shortly after the pp is over. Unfortunately for them, the Senators are pretty intent on keeping the puck in the Ducks' zone and preventing this. He finally gets out with around 1:31 left. The camera has decided that a giant waving Sens flag is more important than being able to see anything on the left half of the screen.

11:05 PM: NBC gives us a shot of the "Action Line". I squee over the hair of my illicit Sens mistress Vermette (there has to be a better term for this) who's got one assist tonight. Meanwhile, the Sens take the game and I am unsure if I'm happy or not. And so I flip to the basketball game where the Pistons are down by 9 with 10:04 left in a do or die game that could end their season. Bah.

11:39 PM: .....wow Pistons. Way to suck. Guess my days of watching basketball are over - I certainly don't care enough to pay attention to these finals.

Wings vs. Blackhawks Liveblog!

For the record the rest of the season (with regard to teams who could take our lead away) looks as follows:

• Wings: Two games; Chicago both times.
• Sabres: Three games; Bruins, Flyers, Capitals
• Ducks: Two games; Stars, Blue Jackets
• Nashville: Two games; Blues, Avalanche
  

We'd have to lose both for the Ducks to pose a threat, and the best Nashville can do is tie us (and for either to matter the Sabres would have to have a giant meltdown) which leaves the Sabres as our biggest threat - we need both these games, and the Bruins have tonight to pull something off and win me over - come on Patrice, my choice in grad schools depends on you tonight!

Ready Set Liveblog!

11:14: Holmstrom tries a deke that goes way wide...argh. Then again, it was not as bad as Hamilton's miss. Hudler couldn't push it up and Sharp tossed one in to pull off the victory. Ugh, everyone get ready to hope the Sabres crash and burn in the next two games.

11:13: Lang's 0-3 for shootout goal attempts...and now 0-4. Ozzie made a nice save over Vrbata though.

11:12: I have loved Jason Williams so much more since he got traded, inexplicably...but not right now.

11:11: I didn't have to make a wish, YES PAVEL! Right through the five hole too, beautiful - much less sneaky than he usually tries.

11:07: This OT has had some really close calls, but the Wings have kept major control of the puck. Couldn't do anything much with it, though, and there goes the shootout.

11:01: This game just does not want to end. 51 shots on goal, seriously?

10:48: It's been a while since I've seen Lang with moves that nice. Damn you Khabibulin.

10:38: It's a goal! For once McGeough did something weird that didn't turn out awful for me. And there go the fans, tossing an octopus on the ice in Chicago even. I'm not sure if they gave it to Lang or Calder....but right now I don't really care.

10:33: McGeough still looks like he has some form of Tourette's whenever he makes a call. Let's hope this pp is more successful than the last few.

10:24: Osgood can't decide if he wants to make me worry every time he plays or not. I don't know how three Wings ended up behind the net there, but at least he pulled off the save.

10:19: Bertuzzi's out with a neck strain, won't be back this game - looks like it was the Osgood collision, let's just hope it's nothing bad.

10:01: Holmstrom! Finally!

9:59: Someone needs to tell Andrew Raycroft that his friendly goal crease should not be so kind to the opposing team. Also, Buffalo wins too.

9:51: Where on earth is Bertuzzi? I haven't heard his name in a while... I hope that collision with Osgood wasn't anything damaging.

9:40something: Oh come on, guys. This is quickly becoming the worst liveblog ever. I'm not sure if this is my fault or if really nothing is happening in this game.

9:37: Datsyuk has more assists than any Blackhawk does points. We are not playing like we realize this.

9:32: ARGH. Let's take a penalty, too, sound good?

9:21: Ride the Red Wave? Seriously. What.

9:10: I read somewhere that Robert Lang has one of the worst turnover rates in the league, I think (I specifically remember Jason Smith being involved in that statistic as well, and I think it was third in turnovers behind Jagr and Smith but don't quote me). There was another one.

9:08: Personal bias aside, Hudler looks really good out there tonight - I like seeing him on Flippula's line again, too.

9:04: Nothing happened on that powerplay - but I really like the Lang - Hudler - Bertuzzi line.

In other news, the Leafs are tied (yay..ish!) and the Habs are down three (more yay!) but Buffalo just scored, bringing that game to 3-2. And Edmonton's down two but it's not like anyone's surprised there.

8:54: First mention of Chelios' age.

8:52: I missed the first few minutes driving (including the Bertuzzi goal) but the only Hawk I like who isn't Jason Williams is out until next season? That hit didn't look nearly bad enough to cause that - but neither did Ethan Moreau's.

Wings v. Rangers Liveblog (And hey, Happy Birthday Don Cherry)

The game a lot of Wings fans have been waiting for all season: the game against Brendan Shanahan. Sure he's no Chris Pronger, but the way he up and left us after this season, leaving everyone stunned in the wake of his disappearance, having not remotely let on that he wanted out, still stung. And he's certainly not happy about how this season is going - unless the Rangers step it up, it'll be the first time he hasn't made the playoffs since before he wore the winged wheel at all. Personally I think it's sort of hilarious - and I'm willing to bet we'll see him do something tonight. If only the game were at the Joe.

(PS I think the Rangers are playing a game called "LOLOLShanahan" - signing Sean Avery?)

Period 1!

Zetterberg's HAIR, jeez. He really is giving Smytty a run for his money when it comes to the hair blowing in the wind.

Dom's going to have an on night, you can see it already just from those first two saves.

Shanahan knew that was going in. And there I am proven right in only two minutes - the guy's out to have a big night. He's pissed and he's got to want to take it out on us.

...I lied about Dom. I really hope that was a fluke.

Mathieu Schneider is so funny looking. It distracted me from catching that off the pole shot, but damn Lang came close.

We are letting far too many chances get far too close to our net undefended, but I don't really see our defence making any big mistakes either--and there's the Eurotwins making it happen for us. Pavel doesn't even know what's going on behind him but he rushes the net anyway and Lundqvist can't see that Zetterberg shot clearly. The announcers inform us that "pucks and people at the net at the same time will lead to goals like this." And, nicely, Datsyuk even got a piece of it, giving me a fantasy point against Elly tonight.

The announcers just treated us to a recap of the pregame skate wherein Jagr apparently asked Cheli, "You're still playing?" And Cheli replied, "I have to, I'm the only one that can stop you." I'm not sure that rings all that true for either of them anymore - but what a cute exchange.

The Rangers play even weirder music at their games that the Bruins do. Was that just the doorbell noise?

I would be much more okay with these goals if Shanahan wasn't on the ice EVERY time. But jeez, could Dom have looked any slower trying to nab that? He usually doesn't have a problem with his top shelf, either.

Explain this announcer segue to me: "Lalala someone has the puck, SPEAKING OF DISAPPOINTMENT, not the Predators!"

I want to start a count of how many times per game they feel the need to mention Chelios' age.

That three on one breakaway redeemed Dom for me a little bit, but damn is he ever looking slow tonight. He's making some giant saves, but letting in some crap, too, and he just isn't moving. Let's hope he finds his game in the next fifteen minutes.

Intermission in which Versus tries to entertain us

Jamie Langenbrunner offensive player of the week with more points than anyone else in the league 2 goals 5 assists. Elly would be happy, you know, if she admitted to liking Devils.

Andrew Raycroft, meanwhile, gets the defensive award and with a 4-0 week involving a 1.23 GAA and a 9.61 SV% and is kicking ass for my fantasy team mere weeks after I considered dumping him. Aww. And he's cute.

The picks for players who have exceeded expectations (Crosby, Drury, Bieksa, Lang...feld?) and those who haven't (Samsonov, Cloutier) were very unsurprising (Sidney Crosby doing well? No way, thanks for telling me, VS!), proving once again that Versus should just stick to...well actually, nothing would be nice. Also, hahahahah Cloutier.

Period 2

It's like Schneider. Even if he is funny looking. Does Kronwall actually do anything out there on the ice?

I think they had to wait on that faceoff about three times because Draper being all hardcore coaxed the Ranger into fighting with him. Draper cracks me up.

Mike Babcock says they need to shut the door. I giggled like a schoolgirl. Which I suppose I technically am. Does that mean I have an excuse?

EVERYBODY RUSH THE NETTTTTTTTT but don't score.

Lang just won a nice faceoff. The puck then promptly went through about three Wings' legs.

Mention of Cheli's age count: 2. (Sure it was just a mention of his birthday - but still.)

Skye of MWORAO mentions to me that the Wings look off tonight. I reply that we play third period hockey and that Red Wings fans don't panic unless we don't have a goal before that point - and then we're really just worried that someone will wreck our shutout streak. It's nice that even this season with all the worrying hasn't ruined that mentality.

Dom plays the puck properly behind the net. The announcers realize this and remind us that he's got about six minors for sucking at puck control. So far tonight he's knocked almost everything behind the net for someone else to pick up - at least he realizes it.

Versus has a new secret strategy: Talk about Sidney Crosby as much as possible and maybe people will forget you suck. I would like them to know it is not working.

Lang plays the puck beautifully behind the net there.

Holy shit Hasek. I still can't believe how that guy still plays sometimes.

Versus is still trying to be interesting!

Hahaha. No one is thrilled about Avery.

"The NHL is a game for men, not for boys". Should someone tell the Pens that? Anyway there's that feature on Sidney...which is basically just three or four shots of different players nailing him and a four second discussion on whether or not the Pens need an enforcer. Wow, Versus. Way to carry that one through.

Period 3!

Announcers calling Dom hyperactive makes me laugh. Dom turning over yet another puck because he insists on playing it does not.

Henrik Lundqvist decides to play the puck behind the net like his good friend Ty Conklin (oh come on we haven't put that link up in a while). Luckily for him there was no Rod Brind'Amour to beautifully wrap it around an in - instead there was little Jiri Hudler with the ugliest goal in his career with the Red Wings banging away at it in front of an entirely empty net while pretty much falling over still behind the net until it finally finds its way in. But look how adorably happy he is about it anyway.

Dom makes a beautiful save a second later that was more than likely a game saver.

I'm going to start counting how many times they mention Dom's age too. That was one.

"Someone ought to tell Lundqvist he doesn't get extra points for how difficult he makes the save." Ahaha. That was almost a KRONWALL goal though! I would have had to admit he could contribute.

Dom covers the puck like ten feet outside of his net. At least he didn't give it away again. I swear he just gets bored in net and feels like he has every right to wander out and do something about it.

We look like we're skating better this period. Not so much of that sloppy crap. We don't like losing. It would be nice if we'd realize that at the start of the games, though.

Kronwall just made a nice play, I will admit it. The Wings do nothing with it and it results in a Jagr shot on goal that Dom blocks. Jagr's hair is better lately. So has Hasek's playing, these last few minutes.

I just heard ONE fan yell out "LET'S GO RED WINGS!"

LANG! Beautiful lucky little poke right through Lundqvist's pads. He's such a good strong hard-working player, always gets in there and does what needs to be done. I'll be upset if we do lose him after the season. I reiterate what I said about the third period. Now let's just hold down the fort. A win tonight means passing up Anaheim tying Buffalo for second in the league.

Ward gets nailed and we're on the PP - and the Rangers mishandle the puck like jerks and Zetterberg bounces it in getting nailed with a hard slash in the process - but there we have it, go ahead goal 4-3 with seven minutes left.

Ortmeyer needs lessons in where the net is. But not as badly as he needs singing lessons if he's ever going to be mic'd up again.

Okay someone needs to just sit Hasek down and tell him NO. Slap some magnetic skates on him that will repel him if he moves out too far out of the crease or does it too often.

Rangers empty net....and failure. 9 wins in the third period to top off the league as we move two up on Anaheim to tie Buffalo for second in the league and take over second in the Western Conference.

About the only other thing I have to say is that I hope someone youtubes that Hudler goal because it was hilarious.

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AND! CHOPPER! Oh I have missed you Ethan, come back soon please.