Apparently all of us fans aren't the only ones bored with the offseason.
The rest of us just aren't throwing Eric Staal bachelor parties that get broken up by the cops and winds us up in jail. Now, this is funny enough on it's own. But taken point by point it becomes utterly hilarious:
- Eric was arrested for "disorderly conduct and obstructing the legal process." Funny enough on it's own, right? But when broken down we see that what really happened was that the Sheriff's office received complaints about "screaming, yelling and playing loud music," and they were then warned in excess. Screaming, yelling and playing loud music? At a bachelor party? Oh those wacky Staals. But wait, it gets better!
- Having been kicked out of the establishment, the lot of them (Staals, cousins, and friends, by the sounds of things) subsequently decided the next best course of action was to harass motorists passing by on the expressway. At 4 am. Okay, now we're encroaching on the territory previously known as "what my college friends do on Saturday nights."
- Next, they got not only Eric, but Jordan as well - for underage drinking. Why I never! Jordan Staal, drinking? That little stumble he almost took at the awards ceremony is suddenly happening in a whole different light.
- Finally, 10 of the 14 arrested spent the night in jail. Eric was one, says the article, and I can only hope that Jordan was another because I imagine the conversation on his end would have been something like this: "Do not tell mom. Eric. Do NOT tell mom." Until he was forcibly shut up in a brilliant feat of some more disorderly conduct. I'll be EA is thrilled.
So now that my entire afternoon has been made by reading about these antics (and my Saturday nights of 3 am traffic cone stealing - yes, we did it - and such just got a whole lot cooler sounding - from now I'm introducing every plan to my friends with "Oh come on the Staal brothers would do it!"), I just have one question, Eric (and you have all summer to think about how you could have not gotten arrested): How does it feel?