23 May 2007

But don't expect anything nice about Emery out of me.

I can't do it. I said I would, for the sake of my Western Conference pride and a certain goalie but I can't.

I look at Chris Pronger and I see him raising the Cup and grinning with that stupid gap tooth and I see him stealing his pants back from Lauren for one last night of joyriding in Edmonton and I see him dancing with the Cup on Smytty's doorstep chanting "Personal reasons, personal reasons," like a broken stupid record and I know perfectly well my imagination is overactive and it's more than likely he'll sit in his bedroom while Lauren lectures him on how he didn't make enough teams despise the very core of him this year and how pretty soon she's going to take more than just the pants if he doesn't start producing, and the Cup's in the closet because she won't let him touch it because he doesn't deserve it so long as there's so much as ONE fan like me who couldn't realize the hate until it was too late, but I see it, in my brain, on repeat, a little grainy like some old horror film. And I see the little worn out D kids in Edmonton sitting dejected in the locker room while the phrase "(we need a) puck moving defenseman" plays over and over on the PA and the giant shadow of Pronger complete with a happy little bright spot (and folks, Toby Petersen is standing right there) where the gap should happen looms over them all and Christy Chorley reports for us all that he's going to the finals yet again.

So I can't do it. Ilya, I can't do it. I'm sorry.

Go (puke) Sens.

I was going to say all that. Except then Chapel let me know that if Anaheim takes this I win his pool and for the second year in a row squeeze free things out of him - I'm not sure I can express in writing how happy this would make me, given the circumstances surrounding last year's success. Now I'm torn again. Fuck.

(Meanwhile, Christy wrote everything else I wanted to say about the game right here including but not limited to what happens when you play like ass for fifty minutes of a game and how ten minute comebacks against the Ducks only work if you're the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Hockey Gods are looking down at you with pity in their eyes and thinking "Wow do they ever need a reason to keep living." It was too little too late, guys, but thanks for those few minutes of anticipating glory and at least ending the season flying high.)

20 comments:

'Drea said...

Wow. Just wow.

KMS2 said...

you said it best.

Someone please explain to me why Babcock didn't pull Hasek when Detroit was on the power play so they could have a 2-man advantage?

Dwayne said...

No offense to you guys and all, but I a: don't hate Anaheim and b: will never root for the Sens. I don't care if they're playing a game against Satan's minions for control of the world *and* our souls. Fuck the Sens.

Still, I'm a Pens fan, and getting your heart ripped out of your chest after a loss is never fun. I won't hate on Anaheim with you, but were I within a 30 mile radius, I'd buy you a commiseration beer. This summer may suck, comparatively, but your Wings *did* just get to the conference finals, and *did* acquit themselves fairly well. I was lucky enough to catch a few of the games, finally, and I gotta admit, Datsyuk and Zetterberg look like they are beyond exceptional hockey players. It must be a joy to watch them every other night in the fall, winter, and spring.

Schnookie said...

Oh dear. Wow. That was a beautiful rant. Hold on a sec while I wipe away a tear... Seriously, is this the suckiest Stanley Cup Final EVER, or is it just me?

Steph said...

Drea: Apparently it wasn't fully formed the other day after all.

Kms2: Babcock really hates pulling him, seems like. The group of people I was with decided he should've been gone at the ten minute mark just for giggles and to see if VS would still keep saying that "if we just got a powerplay" we could score. Of course then the team remembered to show up and play hockey so the point was moot.

Dwayne: Yeah I thought I felt that way too...If it weren't for Pronger I really think I could get on the Ducks bandwagon out of sheer Sens hatred but honestly I don't think I'll actually be able to cheer for the Sens either - what a depressing final. I am proud of the team though, for a year no one expected much of us we pulled off a great run in the end. And the Eurotwins really are wonderful, individually and even more so when you put them together. If you haven't seen that clip where Zetterberg throws it back between his legs to Pavel to score, check it out, it's brilliant.

Schnookie: No, no you're right - this IS officially the suckiest Cup finals ever. I'm glad you approved of the rant, though - I have a feeling there are many more where it came from in these next couple of weeks.

Sherry said...

It's all right.

Purging is the first step :D

Steph said...

Oh man Sherry you're going to spend all of Friday trying to convert me aren't you? I WILL BE STRONG!

Sherry said...

YOU'LL SLIP UP SOMETIME!

Steph said...

OR SO YOU THINK!

Bethany said...

Awh...my Jackets...don't bring them into this mess. I was really kind of hoping for a game 7 not gonna lie. I was going to send you a message last night but opted not to...

Sherry said...

Don't worry, I have all day to work on you. I'm optimistic about my prospects, especially after being harassed by Leafs fans all day, you'll soon see the light :P

Steph said...

Bethany: You know, I wouldn't have, but that last ten minutes looked SO much like the game you guys turned around on them that I just couldn't help it.

Sherry: I'd wish you luck, but that's just bad news for me :b

Margee said...

Aw, this is like therapy. Group hug!

Steph said...

Hi my name is Stephanie and I have lost my faith in hockey?

I might need that hug :(

Bethany said...

That was the best game of the season...I was a happy girl...but I am sorry :(

Steph said...

I was actually in Columbus for that game...I was cheering for Ilya except then you guys decided to come out and play like CRAZY and I switched over.

Skye-chan said...

Because the Jackets are just that awesome and you know it, Steph.

...Ok, maybe not. BUT WE LOVE THEM DAMMIT.

Skye-chan said...

how ten minute comebacks against the Ducks only work if you're the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Hockey Gods are looking down at you with pity in their eyes and thinking "Wow do they ever need a reason to keep living."

Oh, and you have no idea how much I busted up giggling at that. XD

Bobby said...

Haha...Pronger is pretty much the man, and so is Corey Perry

Matt said...

Hmm...only if we're adjusting the definition of the word "man" to include "cement-headed neanderthal". There must be some sort of idiot-savant thing going on here, because Prongy somehow manages to be a good defenceman while waving his arms and shouting "Durr!"