20 May 2007

I hate Anaheim.

I hate you Chris Pronger for being a stupid gaptooth douchebag and for Edmonton and for still being in the playoffs and being such a jackass that our whole arena was booing every time you touched the puck on a scale similar to when Fedorov's in town.

I hate you J.S. Giguere for your stupid waterbottle and your stupid straw and our stupid ability to make you look good. And also for your ugly pads and your uglier helmet and for not being Ilya.

I hate you goalpost for being in the way of the puck.

I hate you referees for your stupid crap calls and your failure to notice things like too many men on the ice.

I hate you Johan Franzen for not doing a better job icing that stupid puck.

I hate you Andreas Lilja for thinking it was remotely a good idea to do something stupid and fancy and who knows what was going on in your brain.

I hate you Teemu Selanne for scoring that goal especially after everyone was just talking about you being streaky and not doing much in this series.

I hate you Dom Hasek for letting yourself get scored on top shelf again and going down early when I'm not sure you needed to, even if it made sense, which I don't know because I spent every replay of that goal with my head in my hands.

I hate you offense for your inability to capitalize on the approximately 2938529 opportunities you had in front of the net.

I hate you stupid last second goal that sent us into OT and cost us not only the game but cost me my dinner at Theo and Stacy's too, as all but my steadfast hockey buddy Ryan left without us.

I hate you oven for burning the garlic bread that I am now eating instead of a real dinner.

I hate you fridge for not having any beer in you that isn't Bud Light and for thereby forcing me into the real liquor which for the record goes smashing with lemon sorbet, thank the Czech Republic for that.

But I am not giving up. Tuesday night. Game on. GO WINGS.


KMS2 said...

I hate Anaheim, too.

hockeygirl said...

Yay! More Anaheim hate for the S383 to run off of!

Anonymous said...

That's a whole bunch of hate... Are you sure that's healthy?

Steph said...

Kms2: Would you like to use that hate to help HG and my beautiful train full of spike Slurpees run? Anaheim haters are always welcome aboard!

HG: I'm just trying extra hard to keep everything running smoothly in your absence!

Magses: I think Duck hate is always healthy!

KMS2 said...

I've been an Anaheim hater since the day they became a team; it goes with being a Kings fan.

Although, I actually met someone earlier this year who said she was a Kings and Ducks fan, but since the Kings weren't doing well, she was rooting for the Ducks. I about bitch-slapped that skank upside the head!

Anyway, as I was saying...GO WINGS!!

Niekon said...

I hate you fridge for not having any beer in you that isn't Bud Light and for thereby forcing me into the real liquor which for the record goes smashing with lemon sorbet, thank the Czech Republic for that.

Ahhhh... the love of having Guinness on tap just mere feet away from my comfy chair as I enjoy watching my Ducks play ^_~

Steph said...

Kms2: I would've supported the bitch-slapping! Damn right go Wings!

Niekon: Now you're just gloating :b (Consider me as jealous as you hope I am. Damn I love dark beer.)

Anonymous said...

Steph I would be inclined to agree with you on most occasions (I once ran over a duck on my bike, completely accidentally I swear, but I probably couldn't have cared less about doing it) but not this year.

Steph said...

Well...if it comes down to Ducks and Senators (my brain worked faster than my fingers and just tried to type 'Sucks' which I think is very much proving my point here) I am just going to be screwed. So I have to keep up the Duck hatred in hope that we can take them down and thereby remedy this problem.

Slappy McGee said...

I hate Anaheim more than ever before....

Objectionable Conduct said...

I hate that you didn't hate on my Ducklings. They deserve some hate too.

Anonymous said...

Ain't Life a Bitch, Chris Pronger Whooped your ass. Holmstrom won't be skating any where near Pronger for a awhile. I still can't believe those pussies suspended Pronger that hit was almost legal.

Gotta give props to Holmstrom though, he came right back out. Course the Redwings don't really have any right to bitch about Cheap Shots considering they have a Todd Bertuzzi skating for them. That guy should be in prison not on the ice.

Now we just need to get Claude Lemieux out of retirement and sick him on Kris Draper! I'd say good luck for next year but the Detroit Mercenaries ain't ever gonna win the Cup with their current mentality.

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