21 October 2007

Dear Edmonton: Thank you.

The Edmonton Oilers want you to know that even though these past few games haven't been what they'd hoped, they're still happy.

We know this because they've broken out of the name and number listing new nhl.com style roster lists and gone back to their much loved yearbook-style format, complete with new pictures for everyone wherein they seem to have refused to let anyone leave until they smiled, or held guns to their heads or something. Some of these turned out brilliant (It seems that without Sykora to carry them like last year, the Oilers realized something needed to be done about those hideous things they called roster photos. I'm also willing to bet having the monstrosities pointed out all across television helped.). Some, well...

The Good:

Jarret Stoll has somehow improved his looks over the summer. I don't know either, but every time I see him this year, I find myself impressed. Steve Staios, meanwhile, has this cute quirky smile going on that I didn't know he had in him, and someone told Ales Hemsky to shut his mouth for once (although I give him credit; he didn't in his regular roster photo and the result still made me happy) - the result is pleasant. And then of course Ladislav Smid - come on guys, bring him back. How do you say no to a face like that? (Other honorable mentions include Marty Reasoner, who has now redeemed himself twice over for the horror that was last year's roster photo, and Ethan Moreau, who doesn't count because he's always beautiful.)

The bad:

Mathieu Garon looks like...I don't even know what. Happy, but that sort of cross-eyed crazy happy where you're pretty sure he's going to hide in your closet with a knife and make "I'm in your house" phone calls. This makes Marc-Antoine Pouliot and Mathieu Roy his idiot henchmen. Come on, French Canadians - does Jose Theodore have to show you how it's done?


I couldn't bear to put Dwayne Roloson's in the "ew" category but...someone should maybe tell him Smytty hair only works for Smytty. (And how is it that even when he smiles he looks like a deer in headlights?)

In conclusion, okay seriously Red Wings, time to get on the ball - the Oilers now have TWO new roster photos for everyone and you can't even be bothered with one set? Lame.


Sherry said...

Aw, well I'm glad they finally found the wonder that was the Sears Portrait Studio :P

Hemsky at least looks not prepubescent in that picture.

Kirsten said...

Mmmm, Staios. He's looking good this year...I mean, um, yeah.
That's Hemsky? WHAT? Maybe I shouldn't have left that bar.
I didn't know Moreau had facial expressions.
When the Oilers are good, they are very, very good. When they are bad they are very, very bad. The same applies to pictures.

Steph said...

Sherry: The standards for Hemsky looking good in a picture are substantially lower than for most other people in the world. You just let me be happy okay!? :P

Kirsten: Isn't he? He should smile more often, it's really cute. And that IS Hemsky - now do you want to come to Edmonton with me? (I should probably get myself to Minnesota first, hm?) And you're so right about the photos - at least this set is a hell of a lot nicer than last season's scary pieces of work.

Kirsten said...

I totally want to come to Edmonton with you. We can skip Minnesota if that's what's waiting for us. Last season's was scary and hilarious all at once. Souray is also pretty hot, but he's old. Staios TOTALLY needs to smile more often, and Moreau...it's gonna be close for the hot off.

Steph said...

See now the question becomes, can your friend in Edmonton hook us up? :P (Speaking of coming to Minnesota, why are flights so freaking expensive? I'm not even that far away!)

Last seasons' were AMAZING - I miss Oilers in Space. Those (horrendously photoshopped) backgrounds were something else. And I would LOVE it if Staios smiled more often - look how cute that is! And Moreau...um, yeah. (Especially with Smith gone...sigh.) He's the defending Hot Off champion for a reason, that one.

KMS2 said...

That's Roloson!? yikes...he really needs to cut his hair.

I'm sad that you put Garon in the "bad" category. At first I thought it was a good picture but you're right about the crazy eyes.

And Congrats to Hemsky for not looking stoned!

Kirsten said...

Courtney said we can totally come up, she and her friends know where they all hang out. Most of the city does, in fact.
I don't know! It's going to be like $600 dollars for me to come home this winter! It's crazy.
Those pictures made me laugh so hard. Moreau vs. Souray is going to be a bloodbath, but I think Moreau can pull it off. I feel like Staios might make it a bit further this year with that picture...

Steph said...

Kms2: Um, yeah - he needs a serious haircut. How did it get this bad anyway, I mean Smyth isn't even around to advocate the mullet! (As for Garon, I usually don't think too bad of him - but um, those are crazy eyes and I'm worried he's going to start killing teammates in their sleep.

Kirsten: Brilliant! Edmonton connections! I'll have to let Elly know :P And wow $600 is awful - I was mad that it would be like $200 to get to Minnesota even with using some FF miles, but now I have a new appreciation for that price.

I think Ethan can do it, but I'd always pick Ethan over Souray. Then again I'd pick Steve over most people too, but probably just because he's one of the last Oilers who've been around forever left and I'm stupidly attached.

Finny said...

OMG. I laughed SOOOO hard at the "bad"... Seriously, I just... heeehoo... I needed a breath.

I LOVE that quirky smile...

How'd Penner's turn out this year? He usually takes on this shy-boy look. I'll have to remember to go check.

And you're right - Smytty hair only works for Smytty... or, you know, old-time Jagr (haven't seen him in YEARS... does he even still have those flowing locks?)

Anyway, whatever... Just wanted to drop in and put in my two cents.

Steph said...

Hahaha glad I could entertain Finny!

Here's Penner's for you - he looks a little overzealous, maybe, but it looks pretty genuine. His regular roster shot looks a little more like the shy boy expression you mentioned.

Jagr's got this short, messy-haired thing going on now...apparently he's fully passed on "best mullet in the NHL" to Smytty.

Finny said...

HAHAHAHAH... yes. oh my dear Pens. I might call the usual team pic, which as I once said before, are like yearbook pics for the players (always just plain awful), he looks less shy-guy and more scared-boy. But that's just my opinion. More timid. I can't speak ill of the guy though. He's a good guy.

But the 1st pic looks much better!!! Jeez, Pens. That's more the Penner I'm used to... the one that laughs at stuff & is generally kind of jolly. =] I miss Penner.