19 February 2008

Well, I'd take him around the back nine.

Ales Hemsky wants you to go golfing in the Czech Republic, and he wants you to use PowerBilt equipment. As a matter of fact, what has to say is:

"S kvalitním vybavením značky PowerBilt se mi hraje velmi dobře, věřím že bude i Vám."
Which, if you care to trust my admittedly rusty Czech skills, means something like, "With PowerBilt brand superior quality equipment my own play has greatly improved and I believe yours will too." (I uh, think.)

I didn't actually see a single golf course for the entire month I spent in Prague, but apparently Hemsky's had enough time over the summer, when he isn't playing inline hockey with his brother Petr or soccer with Jaromir Jagr (does that picture worry anyone else?), to work on his golf game. Maybe he used those extra few months that the Oilers spent not in the playoffs. Personally, flipping through the catalog, I'm a fan of this one. It's too bad Hemmer doesn't seem to be as big a fan of gaudy neon pink as me. Seriously, boring black, really Ales? And couldn't you have gone for a clothing line, or something? You and I (or perhaps your dad, since "Golf Hemský" sound peculiarly like another certain business of his that would seem to be named "Foto Hemský" - how totally creative) are going to have to have a talk about further business endeavors. Where's my I heart Hemsky t-shirts? My Hemsky mugs a la Zetterberg? You're going to have to grow the curls back if you want me to forgive this lack.

Oh and can I get some free samples here? And a demonstration?

15 comments:

Connie said...

I like the Zetterburg mug!!! ....*hint hint* 0_o

Steph said...

I have been trying to reason with myself that I don't need one of those for WEEKS now! Maybe if he'd gotten that hat trick against your team...

Connie said...

Muhaha!! You TOTALLY want one! Stop trying to fight it! Just give in!

Kirsten said...

Hahaha, that's really freaking hilarious. I'll trust your Czech on that one, since it sounds about right for a sales pitch.

Oh Hemsky...what the hell were you thinking when you took that picture?

You should hold off on the mug until Zetterberg agrees to groom himself.

elise said...

I am convinced to learn one of those random hockey languages one day. Right now, I'm thinking Finnish. (yeah, that's going to work out really well.)

I don't know if there are any Paint Your Plate's anywhere else other than MN, but if there are, then you could make your own Zetterberg mug!

Steph said...

Connie: I really, really do. Stop tempting me.

Kirsten: I'm pretty sure that's at least close, I promise! (And seriously, looking like that, I can totally picture him saying some stupid marketing phrase like that.) That's a great idea about Zetterberg...but I think it would also mean I'd never get a mug.

Elise: I learned a little Czech when I was there, but while I can read/translate it all right sometimes, my actual speaking is limited to things like "I am an American student can I have a beer please?" (I'm actually really mad because U of Minnesota, which is my top grad school choice right now, offers both Finnish and Swedish, but no Czech. I suppose this means I should just stick with my four years of Japanese.)

elise said...

yay U of M!
wow, aren't you just a language ace. god, all I know is German.

Kirsten said...

Good point about the mug. What's actually stopping you from purchasing said mug? You're a college student, mugs are highly useful...

That might be because the majority of people in Minnesota are of Scandinavian decent...you can learn Finnish and woo Mikko Koivu, or Swedish and find out if Homer can speak Swedish decently if not English.

elise said...

Wooing Mikko is an excellent idea, Kirsten. I know 5 words of Swedish, it's quite exciting.
And for Swedish, you could yell insults at Mattias Ohlund.

Connie said...

4 years of Japanese?!?! I took Japanese in college, but only because Korean wasn't offered at that time. But after I graduated they started offering it. Jerks!

Get the mug!!

Steph said...

Elise: No...no I'm not. I am pretty sure I suck at Japanese even after four years and I'm not even kidding the first things I learned when I went to Prague were "beer" (for obvious reasons), "light", and "dark" (so I knew which sort of beer I was ordering).

Kirsten: Because I'm a college student who is broke :P I like this Koivu plan though...I have to work with what's around me, right? You guys don't have enough Czechs. (Haha wow, how ridiculous do I sound right now?)

Connie: Yep! Well, 3 and a half, technically, because that's all we have offered here. Which is unfortunate because my graduation auditor is now being a royal incompetent bitch and if I'd been able to have one more semester I think this problem would be solved.

Kirsten said...

Don't feel bad, my advisor fucked up, and if I go abroad in the spring, I won't graduate on time. Now I either have to go abroad in the fall, (which I don't want to do) or take a year off between undergrad and grad school and go somewhere. GDI.

I hear ya on the broke college student thing. I get paid monthly. It's a bitch.

Haha, I don't think we have any Czechs on the team, only three Slovaks..and I mean have you SEEN Gaborik? I'd stick with the Finnish players on the team if I were you.

elise said...

I think the only Czech on the Wild is Martin Skoula...

Kirsten said...

Oh yeah, I blocked him from my brain.

Kirsten said...
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