01 January 2007

Lame Duck?

Chris Pronger wants me to hate him. He wants me to.

If you told me that he and Lauren sat up at night in their darkened room in balmy California, shrewdly, cunningly, plotting (Lauren because she likes to make peoples' lives miserable and Chris because she's promised him the return of his pants upon the discovery of a viable solution as to the problem of how to make every Oilers fan in existance consider him and him alone their mortal hockey enemy so that there would be no chance of his return to such a terrible place) just exactly how to deal me the lowest blow possible because I was one of those lingering fans who hates themselves for not quite hating him, I'd believe you.

I've hated him just enough to be an Edmonton fan this season. I've hated Anaheim as hard as I could, second only to Carolina, bitched whenever they won, whenever Pronger did something good--but I never entirely forgot last year's playoff run. Yeah the guy's a jerk for what he did, but damned if I just can't pretend he was never my playoff hero. Come on, you all remember that penalty shot goal too. So for two months I've been stuck in Pronger-limbo.

And now, finally, Chris Pronger and his Ducklings come to Detroit and I will have my very own chance to to boo him with all my Oilers-loving heart. When that man steps on the ice January 2nd, I tell myself, and Detroit wrecks the Ducks in memory of Stevie Y, I will get my chance. And then I will be satisfied. All I want is one good game of booing, of deluding myself into believing that with that, Chris Pronger will know just how I feel about what he did, and all will be right with the world. (Well, maybe two, since I plan to be down in Columbus watching the broadcast of that game, too.)

And the bastard goes and breaks his foot one damn game beforehand. Pronger you bitch!

(In case it wasn't apparent to anyone, I'm well aware that Chris Pronger has no actual care in the world as to my feelings--this has been shown quite clearly every time he has a press release--and did not break his foot just to spite me. Also, I really can't believe we're like, the first blog in the Oilogosphere to touch this at all?)

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