12 March 2007

They want me to give up, they really do.

I thought about some sort of game preview type post, but then the Oil website did all the work for me - the Oilers, this game, and my day can be summed up by the following quote regarding tonight's "Oilers to Watch" (this is, indeed, the very first sentence of it):

"Yesterday, the fourth line of Brad Winchester, Zack Stortini and Patrick Thoresen had a number of scoring chances for the Oilers. The trio combined for four shots on net."

In a perfect world, Ales Hemsky would swoop out onto the ice tonight, Ryan Smyth in tow, and tell me, Edmonton, and whoever else is concerned that "shoulder injury" was a brilliant cover up for "reconnaissance and negotiations on Long Island" and that "trade" was a brilliant cover up for "fake all the fans out and then explode into the playoffs, standings be damned". And then he would finish the game with twenty shots on goal single-handed, Rexall would explode into cheers of "Hemsky shot the puck!", Smytty would play helmetless so the mullet could flow like the happy tears of the Edmonton population all game long, and halfway through the second period MacT would announce that Ethan Moreau has been recreated as the Bionic Man, has renounced his usual position and decided to have the makings of the most brilliant defenseman in history implanted directly into his brain, and will now take up post at the blue line for a full 60 minutes of game time.

In the real world, Brad Winchester, Zack Stortini and Patrick Thoresen have four shots on agoal and I can't even summon the motivation to hit the caps lock key before typing goilers. Come on boys, I queued up Chinese internet tv for you. the least you can do is muster a real go at it.

(On the brighter side of things - no really this is about the only thing that went right all day - I made a pretty banner?)

I also think I'll leave it to Elly to elaborate (she just apparently ran into a snowbank, yelled fairly loudly, and made me read her stats over the phone - I think she might put a little more feeling in it that me at the moment), but the happy news of the evening has to be this, right? I admit it does make up for some of the day's grief.

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